Hammond Innes: The Black Tide

‘Why?’ I had recognized her now and my voice was hostile, thinking of the miles of beaches black with oil, all those ships, men working round the clock — the Petros Jupiter all over again, and now Choffel’s daughter, here at Balkaer. Had they found his body? Was that it? Was he still alive? ‘Why?’ I said again. ‘Why have you come here?’

She gave a shrug. ‘To say I am sorry, I suppose.’ She had turned away so that the fire’s glow was on her face and I could see the determined line of the jaw, the broad brow beneath the jet black hair. ‘Did Jarne tell you she came-to see me? In London. Almost a month ago, it was. She came to my hotel.’

‘Jean — to London!’ I was still staring at her.

‘She want to tell me about the ship my father is in, the Petros Jupiter, and how you were out in a boat searching for your wife in a fog when she destroyed it. She want to tell me also what kind of man you are, so that I would know, you see, that you were not the man to kill my father.’ I had moved towards the fire and the flames lit her face as she looked at me, her expression strangely serene. ‘She is very fond of you, I think.’ And she added, ‘You are a lucky man to have

people like Jarne and Jim Kerrison who will do so much for you. She almost convince me, you see.’

‘So you still think I killed him?’

‘It’s true then. You don’t know.’ She half shook her head, sitting down again and smiling gently to herself. ‘I don’t believe it when she tell me you don’t know.’

I stared at her, feeling suddenly very tired. ‘What is all this? Why are you here?’

‘I tell you, to say I am sorry. I didn’t believe you, but now I know.’ And then she blurted it out: ‘I have withdrawn everything — everything I say about you. I should have done that after Jarne saw me, but instead I went back to France. I do not say anything, not then. But now… There is a full statement from the Pakistani crew. Everything you say about how my father is shot and wounded is confirmed. It was that man Sadeq.’ She hesitated, and there were tears in her eyes. Then she said, her voice almost choked with emotion, ‘So now I am here. To apologize to you, and to ask you something…’ Again the hesitation. ‘A favour.’ There was a long silence. At length she said, ‘Will you tell me what happened please, on the Aurora B, when you meet my father, and later, particularly later, when you are together on the dhow.’

I had slumped into my usual chair, unable to think of anything at that moment but the fact that I was cleared. Free! Free of everything now, except the past. Just as he had said, no one can escape that.

‘Please,’ she said. ‘I want to know.’

‘It’s all in my statement.’

‘I know it is. I have read it. But that is not the same, is it now? I would like you to tell me yourself.’

Go through it all again! I shook my head.

‘Please,’ she pleaded. And suddenly she was out of the chair, squatting on the rush matting at my feet. ‘Don’t you understand? What I did to you, the accusations, the anger, the hate — yes, hate — was because I loved him. He was such a gentle, kindly man, and with my mother dead, he was all I had. He brought me up, and whatever he did wrong was done out of love for my mother. Try to understand, will you — and forgive.’ Silence then and the firelight flickering on her face, her eyes staring at me very wide. ‘What did you talk about, on that dhow? What did he say? He must have said much. All that time together, two days. Two whole days.’

I nodded slowly, the memory of him in that stinking cubby-hole under the poop coming back. And now, looking down on her, crouched there at my own fireside, I understood her need. She was his daughter. She had a right to know. So in the end I told her everything, even admitting to her that when I’d joined him on the dhow it had been with the intention of killing him.

She didn’t comment on that. She didn’t interrupt me once, and as I talked, her face so intent, her dark eyes seeming to hang on my words, it was like talking to Karen again.