Эрин Хантер - Tigerheart’s Shadow

As he spoke, the forest shifted and blurred. Shadows engulfed him, lifting him up until he was spinning among the stars. He closed his eyes, bracing himself for pain and cold, and drifted down onto chilly stone.

He opened his eyes. The exposed rock beneath his paws stretched toward a night sky on every side. He blinked in surprise as he saw starry cats moving around him. “StarClan?” Their pelts glittered like fire and ice, and they carried the scent of the seasons, stone-cold snow mingled with sweet blossom, leaf musk tinged with sharp sap tang.

“Tigerheart.” Rowanclaw stepped forward.

Countless eyes reflected starlight, watching as Rowanclaw padded toward Tigerheart.

“My son.” He stopped in front of Tigerheart and gazed with eyes brimming with love. “We knew this day would come.”

Tigerheart frowned, puzzled. “You knew I was going to die?”

Rowanclaw tipped his head, blinking gently. “Do you know what happens now?”

Tigerheart shifted his paws, self-conscious under the gaze of so many cats. “I’m… I’m being sent back. But how?”

“There is only one way a cat may receive another life.” Rowanclaw paused as Tigerheart struggled to understand.

A leadership ceremony! His pelt prickled with anxiety. “I’m not ready!” he blurted. “I’m not strong enough to lead a Clan.”

“Really?” Rowanclaw gazed deep into Tigerheart’s eyes. Memories shifted as though woken by his father’s gaze. He’d persuaded Scorchfur and Juniperclaw to stay with ShadowClan. He’d journeyed to the city to find Dovewing and his kits. He’d helped the guardian cats learn how to defend what was theirs. And he’d led his family and his friends home. Rowanclaw broke their gaze with a blink. “You will never be more ready than you are now.” He leaned forward and touched his nose to Tigerheart’s head.

Fierce heat seared through Tigerheart’s pelt. Flame seemed to burn away his fur like grass in a prairie fire, but he could not flee. His paws were weighted like stones.

“With this life I give you strength. Don’t let softness sway you from what must be done for your Clan.” Rowanclaw broke away, and the fire subsided, leaving determination burning in Tigerheart’s belly.

He opened his eyes, trembling. StarClan watched in stillness, and Tigerheart began to recognize some of their faces. Pinenose, Kinkfur, Flametail. His brother looked so young and strong, his broad shoulders squared as he gazed proudly at Tigerheart.

As Rowanclaw turned away, Kinkfur padded forward.

The ShadowClan elder looked sleek and young. He hardly recognized her. Only the knowing flash in her eyes betrayed her long life. She pressed her nose to his head. “With this life I give you courage. Fear will always pull at your tail, but the courage I give you now will always draw you on.”

His body was seized by a hard, fierce agony that stiffened his muscles and left him shaking with shock.

Pinenose was beside him now, touching her nose to his head. “With this life I give you compassion. Love your Clan as you love your kits. Forgive them their flaws and love them even when they fail you.”

Warmth flooded his heart and reached deep into his belly. It snatched his breath with its intensity, and as Pinenose pulled away, he met her gaze and saw the deep affection he’d seen in Dovewing’s eyes on the night Pouncekit, Lightkit, and Shadowkit were born. He returned her gaze, hoping she could read the promise in his. I will.

Another cat padded from the ranks of starry cats, a familiar face he hadn’t spotted yet. A familiar face he had hoped to one day see again—just not in StarClan

Dawnpelt! His sister’s eyes shone like stars. Tigerheart wanted to greet her, but he couldn’t move or speak. You really are dead. He’d suspected, but hadn’t been sure until now. Joy and grief seemed to fight within his heart as she touched her nose to his head. “With this life I give you hope. As long as hope burns in your heart, it will burn in the hearts of your Clanmates.”

Energy fired through Tigerheart. In his mind he was running, skimming the earth, pines blurring beside him. His heart beat so fast that the breath caught in his throat. As his body shivered in spasm, Dawnpelt padded away, and a ragged she-cat took her place.

“I am Yellowfang, once of ShadowClan.”

Tigerheart stared at her, breathless. He’d heard nursery tales of this cat. Exiled by her Clan, betrayed by her son, she’d found sanctuary with ThunderClan before she died. What blessing could she give him?

She leaned close, her breath meaty, and touched her nose to his head. “With this life, I give you forgiveness.” Ice seemed to grip Tigerheart’s body, freezing him rigid until he could hardly breathe. Pain streaked through him, like stone cracking. And then suddenly it eased, and warmth bathed him once more as Yellowfang went on. “Forgiveness will give you more power than vengeance will ever bring.”

As Yellowfang stepped away, a snowy white she-cat padded from the ranks of star-pelted warriors. She nodded to Yellowfang before looking at Tigerheart. “I am Sagewhisker.” Her blue eyes sparkled as she leaned close and touched her nose to his head. “With this life, I give you persistence.” A bolt of energy, as fierce as lightning, seared through Tigerheart. He stiffened against the pain, but it melted into a soft warmth through which he could feel the strong steady beat of his heart. “Don’t let failure sap your determination or rejection change your mind. A true leader tries as many times as it takes to succeed.”

“Tigerheart.” Littlecloud’s mew took Tigerheart by surprise. His heart swelled with joy at seeing the old medicine cat. The familiarity in his bright eyes warmed him. For a moment he remembered what it was like to live in a Clan that was united and strong. “Fear of failure has kept you too long from leadership. But leadership is your destiny, and one that you must embrace if you are to save your Clan. So with this life I give you acceptance. Accept with all your heart what you cannot change, and fear will vanish.” As he touched his nose to Tigerheart’s head, Tigerheart felt engulfed by peace. The worry that seemed to have pressed on him for moons melted like snow in sunshine. So what if he failed to save his Clan? The only failure was not to try. And all that truly mattered was that, for a while, they had felt cool forest shade on their pelts.

A dark tabby tom stepped into Littlecloud’s place. His pelt was patchy, and there were scars on his nose. “I, Raggedstar, give you this life for loyalty.” As the tom’s nose touched his head, Tigerheart was suddenly aware of the depth of rock beneath his paws. His pads drew in its burning chill until ice seemed to freeze his bones. He twitched as Raggedstar went on. “A leader’s loyalty belongs only to his Clan. Let loyalty be your heartbeat, for when it stops, so will you.”

Loyalty? Tigerheart’s throat tightened. What about Dovewing? She was ThunderClan. What about his kits? Did leadership mean that he would be separated from them? Before he could think any more, Flametail stepped forward.

“I wish I could still walk at your side,” Flametail whispered. “I wish I could help you reunite our Clan.” Tigerheart felt his brother’s breath stir his fur as he touched his head and went on. “With this life I give you love. You have known so much, but still have much to give. Leadership without love will never be enough to draw your Clan from the shadows. Let your heart lead when your head does not know the way.” Tenderness surged in Tigerheart’s chest, strong and yet fragile, and so fierce that he thought his heart would shatter. He closed his eyes and let the sensation overwhelm him. As he did, grief unfurled inside him. To have found so much and lost so much felt more than he could bear.