Эрин Хантер - Tigerheart’s Shadow

“They may not have much choice,” Tigerheart meowed grimly. “We lost so many warriors to the rogues that we didn’t have enough to patrol our territory. We gave some of it to SkyClan. The remaining cats lost faith in Rowanstar, and I… I left the Clan to give him a chance to be leader.”

Rippletail looked confused. “But you’re his son! You were always Rowanstar’s strongest ally.”

“I was causing trouble for the Clan just by being there,” Tigerheart told him bluntly. “My Clanmates were looking to me for orders. It undermined Rowanstar’s leadership. I thought Rowanstar had more chance of keeping the Clan together without me. And Dovewing… was expecting my kits. We traveled far, to a territory with many, many Twolegs, so she could give birth in a place where no cats could judge us.” He looked around the ShadowClan cats, daring them to criticize him. After all, he’d not only left his Clan, but he’d had kits with a warrior from ThunderClan. But there was truth in his curt explanation—and none of them were in a position to criticize the choices he’d made. And Tigerheart felt sure that he would make the same choice all over again, if he had to.

Sparrowtail glanced past Tigerheart. “Where is your camp?” Clearly he didn’t want to dwell on the past. “If you have kits, we should go to them.”

Blaze blinked at him. “Are they coming back to the Clans with us?”

Tigerheart looked at them. “Are you?”

Cloverfoot, Sparrowtail, Berryheart, and Rippletail exchanged glances, then nodded. “We’re ready to go home,” Rippletail meowed.

Dovewing padded anxiously around Berryheart. “Are you well enough to travel?” Her gaze flicked over the queen’s swollen flanks.

Spire answered for her. “It’ll be easier for her to travel with the kits inside her belly than outside,” he meowed matter-of-factly.

Berryheart’s eyes flashed with amusement. “Your friend is right.” She padded forward heavily. “I’m afraid I may slow you down. But if I wait until the kits are born, it may be moons before we can travel back to the lake.”

Tigerheart huffed in reluctant agreement. “Let’s go back to our camp,” he meowed. “We can rest for the night.” He glanced at Cloverfoot’s rabbit. Its warm prey-scent was bathing his tongue. “You can eat and rest there, and we can start the journey home in the morning.”

Spire glanced up. Tigerheart followed his gaze, his eyes resting on the stained wall looming above them. He dipped his head to the skinny tom. “The orange sun,” he said. “You were right.”

Two days of rain were followed by a crisp, bright day. Blue sky stretched toward the horizon. White clouds whisked across the sky, driven by a brisk, chilly wind. Tigerheart followed the Silverpath around a wide, curving valley, Dovewing padding at his side. There were only a few Twoleg nests dotted among the frosty meadows here. Spire kept his distance from the track, eyeing it warily from time to time. Blaze stayed close to him, glancing back at Rippletail and Berryheart.

The queen had slowed down their pace as she’d predicted. Her swollen belly made her breathless, and she tired easily. Pouncekit, Lightkit, and Shadowkit scampered ahead with Rippletail and Cloverfoot. They’d been excited to meet ShadowClan warriors and seemed eager to impress them. Ant and Cinnamon seemed pleased too, and asked their new traveling companions almost as many questions about Clan life as the kits did. Tigerheart hadn’t told any of them that the last time he’d seen these warriors, they were fighting alongside rogue cats who had threatened to destroy all the Clans. He eyed Rippletail now, his pelt pricking with an unease that hadn’t left him since they’d found their former Clanmates.

Dovewing brushed against him as they walked. She followed his gaze toward Rippletail. “You’ve forgiven them, haven’t you?” She sounded uncertain.

“We all make mistakes,” Tigerheart murmured. “But I keep thinking of the moment when the rogues came, and our Clanmates ”—the word felt bitter on his tongue—“didn’t lift a paw to stop Rowanstar, Tawnypelt, and me from leaving the camp. They wanted us to go. They chose Darktail instead.”

Dovewing turned her soft green gaze on him. “That must have felt terrible. But things have changed. They know they were wrong.”

Tigerheart shook out his pelt. He knew he must get rid of the resentment worming beneath his fur. If ShadowClan was to survive, past grievances must be forgotten. “When I left ShadowClan, there was so little trust in the Clan. I’m worried that bringing traitors back will only make it worse.”

Dovewing flicked her tail. “For a start, you have to stop thinking of them as traitors.” She watched Pouncekit duck beneath Cloverfoot’s belly and pop out the other side. Lightkit ducked after her, purring. “They are clearly sorry for the choices they made. You’re helping to reunite your Clan. You need to show by example that old wounds can heal and old arguments can be forgiven.”

Tigerheart’s thoughts flitted back to the city cats. He remembered Fierce’s reluctance to hold grudges. Her easy acceptance of other strays. He remembered Tuna’s words. In the city, it’s rare to have anything long enough to defend it. Perhaps the Clans had been trying too hard to hold on to the past. “I thought I had nothing to learn from the guardian cats,” he meowed thoughtfully. “But they’ve learned to live with change. It might be easier to live life the way it is now than to try to keep it the way it was.”

Dovewing nudged her shoulder softly against his. “You’re starting to sound like a leader,” she murmured teasingly.

He met her gaze. “Am I?” He remembered Rowanstar’s offer to step aside and make him leader of ShadowClan. He hadn’t felt ready then. Did he feel ready now? He pushed the thought away. It had brought swirling with it memories of Spire’s dark vision. The shadows are fading. He can’t keep them together. Was there a ShadowClan left to lead?

“Tigerheart!” Shadowkit’s mew distracted him. The gray kit had stopped and was waiting for Tigerheart and Dovewing to catch up to him. Lightkit and Pouncekit had rushed ahead, batting an acorn between the tracks. “Rippletail wanted to know if we are going to be ThunderClan cats or ShadowClan cats.” He gazed inquisitively from Tigerheart to Dovewing.

Dovewing answered. “We don’t know yet,” she told him. “We’ll decide when we reach the lake.”

There may be no ShadowClan to join. Tigerheart was relieved that Dovewing hadn’t mentioned this possibility. Why worry the kits about something that might not be true?

“Can we choose?” Shadowkit fell in beside his father. “Because I think I’d choose ShadowClan.”

“Why?” Tigerheart looked at his son.

“I don’t know.” Shadowkit shrugged. “I just feel like ShadowClan needs me. And I am called Shadowkit.”

Tigerheart smoothed his tail along the kit’s spine. “When we reach the lake and see the Clans again, we’ll decide where you and your sisters should live. And when you’re old enough to start your training, you can decide for yourself which Clan you prefer.”

“Is that what all Clan kits do?” Shadowkit asked.

Tigerheart thought of Violetpaw and Twigpaw. “No,” he answered. “But it happens from time to time. Especially when kits are born outside the Clans.”

Shadowkit frowned. “Will the other cats think we’re strange?”

Before Tigerheart could answer, a yowl split the air. Tigerheart jerked his muzzle toward the bank. Spire was staring at the Silverpath, his eyes lit with panic. “It’s coming! Too fast! Quick! It’s coming! It’s too fast!”