Эрин Хантер - Tigerheart’s Shadow

Tigerheart hurried forward. Fresh air would help him think. He had to find the words to tell Dovewing that he needed to leave. “I’ll join you.”

Fierce was already leaping onto the wooden ledge that led to the entrance. Cinnamon, Ant, and Mittens followed her out of the den.

“Wait.” Dovewing’s soft mew sounded behind Tigerheart.

He glanced over his shoulder. She was stepping softly from the nest. The kits had rolled into the space she’d left, still asleep.

“I’m coming with you.” Dovewing’s green gaze was soft in the dawn light. She hurried past him, stopping at Blaze’s nest. As he lifted his head sleepily, she blinked at him. “Can you keep an eye on the kits? We’re going scavenging with Fierce.”

“Okay.” He yawned, climbed from his nest, and headed toward the kits.

“Thanks, Blaze.” Dovewing turned to Tigerheart and flicked her tail. “Do you mind if I come?”

“Of course not.” His heart sank. There would be no time to think of the right words to tell her. He couldn’t keep this to himself. He’d have to tell her now. What would she say? Sadness swamped him. If she thought the kits were too young to travel, he would be abandoning her a second time.

Dovewing followed him from the den. Outside, the streets were quiet. Monsters were beginning to prowl, and here and there a Twoleg scuttled along the walkways, head bent against the cold wind. She shifted beside him as he waited for a Twoleg light to turn green. “What are we waiting for?” She looked along the deserted Thunderpath, then bounded across the stone. “I haven’t been out this early since before the kits were born,” she mewed as he followed her to the other side. “I forgot how quiet the city could be.”

Fierce’s scent drifted on the breeze here. Tigerheart guessed that the tortoiseshell was heading for her favorite scrapcans. He headed in the opposite direction. If he was going to talk to Dovewing, he didn’t want to bump into the guardian cats.

“Fierce and the others went that way.” Dovewing gestured away from herself, glancing at him curiously.

“I need to talk to you.” Tigerheart kept his gaze straight ahead. His heart quickened as he spoke. There was no avoiding the conversation now.

“Okay.” Dovewing didn’t look at him, but moved closer, guiding him toward the wall as a Twoleg turned the corner and began hurrying toward them.

Tigerheart didn’t speak until the Twoleg had passed. Ahead, a narrow gap opened between the dens. Tigerheart knew that it led to a small opening where Twolegs left scrapcans. They rarely contained food, but it would be a sheltered spot to talk. He turned in to the gap as they reached it and led the way to the small clearing.

Dovewing followed wordlessly. “So?” She searched his gaze anxiously as he stopped beside the scrapcans and faced her. “What did you want to tell me?”

Tigerheart gazed into the green depths of her eyes. Please understand that I love you. “Spire had another vision.”

Dovewing’s gaze didn’t flicker. She stared at him, stiller than stone.

“He heard a voice,” Tigerheart went on. “A voice Spire said was for me. It gave him a message about Rowanstar.”

Still, Dovewing did not speak. Anxiety glittered in her eyes.

“The voice said he needs me. It said he can’t keep the shadows together.” Tigerheart saw Dovewing’s flanks move as her breath quickened. She held his gaze mutely. Say something. He had to know what she was thinking. When she didn’t speak, he stumbled on, trying to explain. “I can’t ignore this sign,” he meowed desperately. “Rowanstar can’t keep the Clan together. I have to go back. Please don’t think I don’t love you. You and the kits are the most important things in my life. But if I abandon my Clan now, when they need me, I will never forgive myself.” Grief pressed in his chest. Will I ever be able to forgive myself for abandoning Dovewing and our kits?

Dovewing’s eyes shimmered with pain. She stared at him, the wind ruffling her pale gray fur. “I once told you that I would love you whatever choice you made,” she mewed thickly. Tigerheart could hardly breathe as she went on. “I won’t make you choose between your Clan and me this time.”

Was she telling him to go? Tigerheart’s thoughts seemed to freeze. He could only stare into Dovewing’s eyes, trying to read what she was feeling. Was she angry? Was his leaving all she and the kits would remember of him? “I’m sorry,” he murmured, his heart splitting with pain. “Please forgive me.”

Dovewing blinked. “Forgive you for what? We’ll leave together.”

Really? As he stared at her dumbly, hardly able to believe his ears, dawn sunshine found a crack between the nests and cut a strip across the clearing.

“You saw the kits yesterday,” Dovewing went on. “They climbed a tree by themselves. No one taught them how to climb. They wanted to see more of the world than we have shown them. They are eager for adventure.” She paused, fear darkening her gaze. “I think they are ready to make the journey home.”

Tigerheart could hardly believe his ears. “Do you mean it?”

“Yes.” Dovewing whisked her tail. “It’s a dangerous journey. I’m not letting you make it alone.”

“But the kits.” If it was dangerous for him, then for young kits it could be deadly. “They’re not old enough to—”

Dovewing cut him off. “As long as they are with us, they will be safe.” She glanced the way they’d come. Monsters moved beyond the gap. “Come sunup, the city will be crowded with Twolegs and monsters. Foxes roam the streets at night. Cats with no more honor than rogues scavenge in every alley. This is no place for kits to live. Besides…” She looked away, her pelt prickling. “Spire isn’t the only cat who’s had dreams.”

Tigerheart leaned forward anxiously. “Did you have another dream? Like the one that led us here?”

She shook her head. “Shadowkit told me he dreamed about a silver-and-white tabby.”

Tigerheart stiffened. Had Spire been right about the kit? Had Shadowkit seen this tabby “in the shadows”?

Sadness misted Dovewing’s gaze. “It sounded like Ivypool. And the cat in the dream had kits. What if Ivypool’s really had kits? I want to meet them. I want them to meet Pouncekit, Lightkit, and Shadowkit. I don’t want them to be strangers. They need to be with the Clans. We have to get them home before they’re old enough to become ’paws. They have so much to learn about Clan life.”

Become ’paws. Tigerheart could imagine Pouncekit clinging to the trunk of a pine, arguing with her mentor about how far up she should climb. He purred suddenly. “I feel sorry for the warrior who has Pouncekit as an apprentice.”

Dovewing’s whiskers twitched with amusement. “She’ll question every order.”

“She’ll probably try to give her mentor hunting tips.” Tigerheart’s heart warmed as though sunshine poured through it.

“The guardian cats have been good to us,” Dovewing meowed. “But I don’t want our kits to think that healing the sick and avoiding Twolegs is all there is to life.”

Tigerheart purred louder. “Our kits aren’t even very good at avoiding Twolegs. Did you see them in that tree?”

Dovewing purred too. “The only way they could have attracted more attention would have been to yowl at them.”

“I’m glad we found them in time.” Tigerheart stopped purring as he pictured the Twoleg kit running toward the tree. What would have happened if he hadn’t been there to scare it away? The kits had been trapped and hadn’t even realized it.

Dovewing’s gaze darkened. “We did find them, though. But they need to be back in the forest. For the first time, I realized how little they understand about what it means to be a warrior. No Clan cat would have let curiosity cloud their judgment. The kits should have known the risk they were taking.”