Erin Hunter - Leafpool’s Wish

“You know, you’re not the first medicine cat to have this happen,” the old cat mewed.

“Really?” Leafpool was disbelieving.

Yellowfang nodded, her chin brushing Leafpool’s ears. “It happened to me, a long time ago.”

Leafpool sat up so quickly that her head banged against Yellowfang’s muzzle. “What?”

The gray-furred she-cat sighed and turned away to sit at the edge of the Moonpool. The water was still now, black and starlit like the sky. “Have you heard of Brokenstar?” she asked.

“Of course,” mewed Leafpool. “Leader of ShadowClan before Nightstar and Blackstar. He tried to destroy ThunderClan with the help of rogues.”

Yellowfang nodded. “He was my son.”

Leafpool nearly fell over. “Did any cat know?”

“Never. It was a terrible mistake, and I was punished by my secret every day of my life.”

“Is… is that what’s going to happen with my kits?” Leafpool whispered. “Are they a terrible mistake, too?”

Yellowfang closed her rheumy eyes. “Never say that. Life is always precious. It is what we fight for so hard, with every breath we take.”

“But medicine cats are forbidden to have kits. What I have done is wrong.” Leafpool crouched on the stone, feeling the chill seep into her paws.

“Wrong according to one code, but there are other ways to judge what we do,” Yellowfang rasped. “We are not allowed to have kits because we are supposed to love all our Clanmates equally, and the first Clan cats were afraid that we could treat our own kin ahead of any others. But when your kits are born, Leafpool, you will learn that your heart has space in it to love more than you could possibly imagine. Loving your kits does not mean you have less love for your Clan.”

“Then the code should be different?” Leafpool mewed hopefully.

Yellowfang lashed her tail. “I did not say that. The code of the medicine cats is there to remind us of our duties. We cannot change it, any more than we can change the seasons.”

Leafpool felt a faint stirring in her belly, and she curled her tail protectively around her flank. “Is there any chance my Clanmates will accept these kits?”

“ThunderClan lives and breathes the warrior code. I cannot promise they will forgive you. But your Clanmates have suffered so much these past few moons, nothing should matter more to you than staying with them.” The old cat’s gaze softened. “Your kits need not follow the same path as mine. If they believe that they are wanted and loved from the moment they take their first breath, they will have a chance to grow into strong, loyal, kind warriors.” She looked down at her paws. “My mistake was to give Brokenstar to a cat who did not love him, who resented every mouthful of milk he took from her.”

“Please help me!” Leafpool begged. “I want to serve my Clan, but I cannot make these kits disappear!”

Yellowfang stood up and started to walk back to the shadows. “You’ll have to be smarter than I was, that’s all.”

Leafpool opened her mouth to protest. But there was a rush of wind and darkness, and when she opened her eyes she was lying beside the Moonpool with her babies wriggling inside her as if they were tired of lying on the cold ground. Leafpool heaved herself to her paws. StarClan had spoken clearly: Her duty was to remain as ThunderClan’s medicine cat. But how, when there was no way to keep these kits secret?

Leafpool knew she had to confide in a living cat. And there was only one she could think of: a cat from whom love and happiness spilled out. Surely there would be enough to spare for some helpless kits? And this was the cat Leafpool had been closest to all her life, even when they were far apart…

“Squirrelflight, do you have a moment? I need to speak with you.”

The dark ginger she-cat turned and looked at Leafpool. “Can’t it wait?” Her pelt was ruffled and her green eyes shone with temper. “Brambleclaw wants me to fetch soaked moss for the nursery, even though it’s an apprentice task. He hasn’t stopped giving out orders since Firestar made him deputy!”

“I could come with you,” Leafpool offered.

Squirrelflight twitched her ears. “Okay, if there’s really nothing more important you need to do.”

They passed Mousefur on the way to the entrance. The elderly she-cat eyed Leafpool’s belly. “Plenty of mice at the Moonpool, was there? You’re looking plump, Leafpool!”

Leafpool flinched and tried to tuck in her flanks. “StarClan has been generous with prey this leaf-bare,” she mewed, speeding up.

Once they had pushed their way through the thorns, Squirrelflight looked at Leafpool. “Wow, that was rude of Mousefur! She’s right, though. Have you been taking more than your fair share?” Her tone was gentle and amused, but Leafpool felt hot beneath her pelt.

“I’d never do that,” she meowed. She plunged into the ferns and headed down the slope toward the lake. The cool fronds brushed against her sides and made her feel calm again. Behind her, Squirrelflight was muttering.

“Who does Brambleclaw think he is, treating me like I’m still wet behind my ears? Toms are so much trouble! You don’t know how lucky you are, Leafpool, not having to worry about things like that.” She broke off as she drew alongside her sister. “Well, I know there was Crowfeather…”

Leafpool didn’t say anything. They emerged from the trees onto the edge of the lakeshore. Pebbles crunched under their paws, and in front of them stretched the lake, flat and silver.

Squirrelflight trotted ahead. “There’s a good clump of moss up here,” she called. “It won’t take long to soak some and take it back to the camp. I’m tempted to put it in Brambleclaw’s nest,” she added under her breath.

Leafpool waited until her sister had stopped by a fallen tree and was prodding at the thick growth of moss. Her heart was pounding and her pelt felt strange and prickly. Inside her, the kits were still, as if they were waiting. I have no choice, Leafpool reminded herself.

“I need your help, Squirrelflight,” she began.

The ginger she-cat paused and looked up. “Sure. Do you want me to fetch some herbs for you?” She pulled a face. “You don’t need me to collect mouse bile, do you?”

“No, nothing like that.”

Squirrelflight’s eyes widened. “Do you want me to take a message to Crowfeather? Leafpool, you know I can’t do that!”

Leafpool winced and closed her eyes for a moment. This is something Crowfeather must never find out!

Stones rolled beneath Squirrelflight’s paws as she shifted her weight. “What is it, Leafpool? It’s obviously important.” She let out a sigh. “I always used to know what you were thinking, but recently—since… since the Crowfeather thing—it’s as if you’re hiding from me. Is something wrong? What is so terrible that you can’t tell me? I’m your sister!”

Leafpool gazed out across the lake. Three tiny dots of light were dancing on the water, even though the sky above was gray with clouds.

“I’m expecting kits.”

“You’re what ?” Squirrelflight jumped down from the fallen tree and faced her sister. “Are they Crowfeather’s?”

“Of course they are,” Leafpool snapped.

“Yes, of course.” Squirrelflight stared at her in dismay. “Are you going to leave again? I’ll miss you so much! Who’ll be our medicine cat instead?”

Leafpool lifted her head. “I am ThunderClan’s medicine cat,” she meowed. “Nothing is more important than that. Squirrelflight, you have to help me find a way to raise these kits and still serve my Clan!”