Erin Hunter - Twilight

“Leafpool!” Cinderpelt’s tone hardened and she lashed her tail. “Crowfeather belongs to a different Clan, but that’s only the beginning. You’re a medicine cat. You can’t fall in love.

Not with Crowfeather, not any cat. You have always known that.”

I knew it , Leafpool wailed inwardly, but I never knew what it would mean !

“It’s not fair!” she meowed. “I’ve got feelings too, just like any other cat.”

“Of course you have. But a medicine cat has to control those feelings for the good of her Clan. The path we follow has its own rewards. I’ve never felt cheated by the destiny StarClan sent me.”

Every word she spoke tore into Leafpool like a badger’s fangs. Fury surged inside her. “You can’t possibly understand!” she spat. “You’ve never been in love!”

Cinderpelt’s blue gaze rested on her, unspoken thoughts flickering like minnows in her eyes.

“It’s easy for you,” Leafpool went on bitterly. “You’ve never wanted anything else.”

The medicine cat flexed her claws, and her neck fur began to rise. “How do you know what I want?” There was the hint of a snarl in her voice. “How do you know what hopes I gave up to follow the path StarClan laid down for me?”

Leafpool flinched. She had never seen Cinderpelt this angry.

“You’ll come back to camp with me—now!” Cinderpelt growled. “And stop this nonsense for good. It’s for your own sake, Leafpool. Meeting Crowfeather can’t be right if you have to lie and sneak around in the shadows. I haven’t spent all this time training you to be a good medicine cat for you to throw it away like this. Your Clan needs you!”

“No! I won’t come!” A gale of guilt and anger swept through Leafpool. “I’ll go on seeing Crowfeather whenever I want to, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me!”

Cinderpelt’s eyes flashed and she launched herself at Leafpool, claws out. Leafpool turned tail and ran. As she fled, all she knew was that she must escape from that accusing stare, those lashing claws. The forest whirled past her as if she were caught up in the wind, and when exhaustion finally forced her to stop she wasn’t sure where she was.

She was standing on the edge of a narrow valley with gorse and bracken growing on each side. In the distance it grew deeper, and very faintly Leafpool could hear the sound of running water. Suddenly relief flooded her heart. She had left ThunderClan territory behind, and was halfway to the Moonpool!

She could be completely alone there, without Crowfeather pleading with her to leave, or the fear that her secret would be discovered. The shining spirits of her ancestors would come to her and tell her what to do.

She padded on, more slowly now, until she reached the starlit stream that tumbled down from the hollow where the Moonpool lay. By the time she reached the barrier of bushes around the top she was staggering from weariness, but the sight of the glimmering water below gave her strength. As she followed the spiral path down to the water’s edge, her paws slipping easily into the marks left by generations of cats so long ago, her churning emotions grew calmer. She crouched down by the pool, lapped once from the water, and closed her eyes.

“Leafpool! Leafpool!” The gentle voice spoke in her ear, and soft fur brushed against her pelt. Leafpool opened her eyes to see the beautiful tortoiseshell, Spottedleaf, sitting beside her, wreathed in starlight.

“Oh, Spottedleaf!” she purred. “I’ve missed you so much. I thought you had abandoned me.”

“Never think that, dear one,” Spottedleaf mewed. Her sweet scent flowed over Leafpool as she bent her head to draw her tongue over the younger cat’s ears. “How could I leave you to struggle with your feelings alone?”

Leafpool felt her fur crawl with guilt. “You know about Crowfeather?”

Spottedleaf nodded.

“I love him so much. I can’t be a medicine cat anymore!”

Leafpool blurted out helplessly.

Spottedleaf pressed her muzzle against Leafpool’s shoulder. Then she murmured, “I know what it is to love, although my path was different from yours. Who knows—if I had lived, I might have suffered what you are suffering now.”

“Please tell me what to do!” Leafpool begged. “I can’t bear this! I don’t feel like I’m needed in ThunderClan anymore.

Cinderpelt doesn’t want me; she has Brightheart to help her.”

“Brightheart needs a purpose just now.” Wisdom shone like moonlight in Spottedleaf’s eyes. “She has found it in helping Cinderpelt. Be generous to her.”

“But she’s always there ,” Leafpool muttered. She knew she was being unreasonable. “I’ll try to understand,” she promised with a sigh. “But Brightheart isn’t the only reason I don’t think my Clan wants me. I’ve quarreled with Squirrelflight, and we never quarrel.”

Spottedleaf gave her a gentle lick between the ears. “Your sister loves you. One quarrel will not change that.”

“And Crowfeather?” Leafpool mewed, feeling her heart beat faster as it always did when she thought of the WindClan warrior. “He wants us to go away together. I want to be with him so much, but should I really leave my Clan for him?”

“No cat can make this choice for you,” Spottedleaf replied, letting the tip of her tail brush against Leafpool’s shoulder.

“Deep inside, you know what is right, and you must follow your heart.”

Leafpool sat up, feeling as if a bright light had shone straight into her mind. Surely her heart was where her feelings for Crowfeather came from? Spottedleaf did understand.

“You mean it’s all right for me to love Crowfeather? Oh, Spottedleaf, thank you!”

The beautiful tortoiseshell began to fade, dissolving into stars. Her scent remained, hanging in the air with a few last words that died away into silence. “Remember, you know what is right.”

Leafpool blinked. Her nose was almost touching the shining water of the Moonpool, and her legs were cramped from lying on the cold stones, but when she sprang up, she felt as if she could run forever.

You must follow your heart .

Spottedleaf had told her she could do what her love demanded and leave the Clans with Crowfeather. It didn’t matter if she gave up being a medicine cat, because Brightheart was helping out. Besides, Cinderpelt was young and healthy; she had many seasons to train another apprentice. It didn’t matter that Leafpool felt as if her Clan didn’t need her anymore. Her destiny lay elsewhere, far beyond this territory, with Crowfeather beside her.

Her heart light as a leaf, she bounded up the spiral path, thrust her way through the bushes, and raced down the hill to find Crowfeather. The long journey between the Moonpool and the lake seemed to skim by in a few heartbeats, although by the time she reached the stream that divided ThunderClan from WindClan the sky was growing paler and one by one the stars were fading.

At first she was afraid she would have to wait for the next Gathering before she saw Crowfeather again. After all, she had sent him back to his camp to avoid a quarrel between him and Cinderpelt. Maybe he had been so angry that he wouldn’t even want to see her again.

Then she spotted him sitting in the shelter of a gorse bush a few tail-lengths inside WindClan territory. He looked so lonely, staring down at the lake with his tail curled over his paws. Leafpool’s heart flipped over. They were both loners in their own Clans, but now they could be together forever.

“Crowfeather!”

He spun around. Leafpool splashed through the stream toward him, and he met her on the far bank, his eyes shining as he pressed his muzzle into her shoulder and wound his tail with hers.