Эрин Хантер - Sunrise

“What are we going to do?” she demanded in an urgent whisper as her brother blinked up at her. “I can’t go on like this!”

“I don’t know.” Lionblaze gave a quick glance around the den, as if he was afraid that some cat would overhear. “We’ll talk later.” He pushed his way out through the branches; convinced that he was trying to avoid her, Hollyleaf followed hard on his paws.

“Hollyleaf! Lionblaze!” Brambleclaw spotted them as soon as they emerged from the warriors’ den. “Sandstorm is taking out a hunting patrol. Can you go with her?”

“Sure,” Lionblaze meowed, swerving across the clearing to where Sandstorm waited beside the deputy with Berrynose and Hazeltail.

Hollyleaf was still dazed as she followed, as if her paws belonged to some other cat. How could she fit into the Clan’s everyday routine, now that she knew the terrible secret of her birth? She felt as if the sky should have cracked open or the moon fallen down into the hollow.

“Don’t forget, it’s the Gathering tonight,” Brambleclaw reminded them. “The Clan needs to eat well before the journey.”

“We will—don’t worry,” Sandstorm promised, her whiskers twitching as she signaled to her patrol with her tail and headed for the camp entrance.

Hollyleaf followed, but she couldn’t concentrate on hunting. Pain dazzled her mind like lightning splitting the sky. She had built her life on the warrior code, and now it had failed her. It didn’t matter anymore; it had been broken too many times. Squirrelflight had broken it by lying; Crowfeather, by falling in love with a medicine cat; but most of all, Leafpool had shattered the code and trampled it into dust. She had betrayed her Clan, her duty as a medicine cat, and her kits.

A mouse darted out in front of Hollyleaf’s paws and instinctively she leaped on it, her claws sinking into the soft body. A picture of Leafpool flashed in front of her eyes in a pulsing red haze, and she tore at the prey, imagining that she was clawing the life out of the cat she hated so much.

“Hollyleaf, stop!” Hazeltail’s voice was shocked. “What are you doing?”

Hollyleaf’s vision cleared. She saw her paws dripping with scarlet: The prey she had caught was reduced to a red pulp. There was nothing left to take back to the fresh-kill pile.

Fury surging through her, she rounded on Hazeltail. “Stay out of my fur!”

Hazeltail backed away, her eyes wide and scared, then whipped around and plunged away into the bracken.

After the hunting patrol returned, Hollyleaf was too disturbed to stay in the camp. She didn’t want to talk anymore, especially not to Lionblaze or Jayfeather. Instead she headed out alone, down to the lake and then along the WindClan border until she reached the ridge and could look out across the rolling moorland.

Somewhere out there was the WindClan camp and the cat who was her father. His WindClan blood ran in her veins. But I don’t feel half-WindClan!

Hollyleaf knew her home was under the trees, hunting mice and squirrels. The WindClan rabbits looked scrawny and tasteless from running across the hills. She hated the open spaces and the unrelenting wind.

Gazing out across her father’s territory, she yowled silently, No! No! No!

As shadows fell across the stone hollow, Firestar called together the cats who were going to the Gathering. Hollyleaf padded up to join Jayfeather and Lionblaze, deliberately not looking at Squirrelflight and Leafpool a few paces away. Graystripe, Brambleclaw, and Sandstorm bounded up, followed by Cinderheart, Poppyfrost, and Berrynose.

“Let’s go,” Firestar meowed. “And the less we say about Sol, the better, okay?”

He led them down to the lake and along the edge of the water, splashing through the border stream. Hollyleaf felt every hair on her pelt prickle with disgust as she set paw on WindClan territory. I don’t belong here! I want nothing to do with WindClan!

More rain had fallen earlier in the day, but now the clouds had cleared away, leaving the full moon to shine brightly. Hollyleaf stopped and stared up at it. Do you approve of what I’m going to do, StarClan?

With every paw step she was alert for the sight or scent of WindClan cats. She wondered if Crowfeather had been chosen to go to the Gathering. Why should it matter? she thought fiercely. He’s nothing to me. Nothing!

Just ahead of her, Firestar was flanked by Graystripe and Sandstorm. “You know, I still miss Fourtrees,” Sandstorm murmured. “The moon seemed brighter there, somehow.”

Firestar gave her an affectionate nudge. “You sound like an elder!”

Sandstorm swatted at him with her tail. “You wait. I’ll be the crankiest elder the Clans have ever seen. Mousefur will seem sweet and gentle next to me!”

“And hedgehogs will fly,” Graystripe meowed. “But I miss the old forest, too,” he added. “It’s the place we were born. These younger cats will feel just the same about the lake. Isn’t that right?” He glanced over his shoulder at Lionblaze and Hollyleaf.

Lionblaze managed a brief nod, but Hollyleaf couldn’t reply at all. Sheer envy surged over her, jealousy of these cats who knew where they belonged, who had good memories of living by the warrior code, season after season.

They don’t know it’s all a lie!

The horseplace was dark and silent when the ThunderClan cats padded past. There was still no sign of WindClan; Hollyleaf assumed they had already made their way to the island.

When they reached the tree-bridge, they found RiverClan in the middle of crossing; Firestar held back his warriors with a polite nod to Leopardstar. While she waited, Hollyleaf flexed her claws in and out, her belly churning.

This will be a Gathering none of them will ever forget!

Leaping from the roots at the other end of the tree-bridge, she paused to taste the mingled scents of the other three Clans.

“We’re the last,” Cinderheart meowed, landing beside her. “We’d better be quick.”

Hollyleaf followed her Clanmate across the strip of pebbles and into the undergrowth. There was no need to hurry. She had set her paws on the path she had chosen, and the time for her to act would come as surely as one season gave way to the next.

When she pushed through the bushes and into the clearing around the Great Oak, she hesitated, awed in spite of herself by the mass of cats in front of her. Clan mixed with Clan as the cats found themselves places around the tree. Then Hollyleaf’s paws carried her forward, weaving a path through the crowd. She was scarcely aware of Tawnypelt greeting her, or of the ShadowClan queen’s affronted look as she brushed past. She ignored the snatches of gossip that she picked up as she padded past. What has all that got to do with me now?

She found a place to sit, close to the Great Oak, where she could look up and see the Clan leaders crouched among the branches: Onestar, comfortably settled in the fork of a branch; Blackstar, crouched on the lowest branch with his tail hanging down; Leopardstar, standing a tail-length higher, impatiently scratching at the bark. Firestar leaped up to join them, scattering a few late acorns as the branch he chose swayed under him.

Lionblaze had followed Hollyleaf across the clearing, and sat down next to her. “Crowfeather’s here,” he muttered.

“I know.” Hollyleaf had already spotted the WindClan warrior, but he hadn’t seemed to notice her. Now she glanced to where Lionblaze was pointing with his tail, and she saw her father sitting close to Nightcloud and Breezepelt. His head was turned away, but Hollyleaf guessed that he knew exactly where she and her brothers were. All his kits together at once. How nice for him.