Эрин Хантер - A Forest Divided

But some of us wanted to live on the moor and some in the forest. So Clear Sky took some cats to the forest with him, and we stayed on the moor. And we lived in peace until—”

Clear Sky’s heart quickened. Was Jagged Peak planning to blame him for the battle? He interrupted. “I decided it was best to divide our new land up so each group hunted different parts.”

“You made borders !” Jagged Peak flashed him an accusing look.

Gray Wing lifted his head. “It seemed sensible at first.”

Quiet Rain narrowed her eyes. “At first ?”

“Clear Sky kept moving his borders,” Jagged Peak told her.

Gray Wing’s ears twitched. “We had to defend what we had.”

“So you fought ?” Quiet Rain blinked in disbelief. “Were words not enough?”

“We tried to talk,” Gray Wing explained.

Jagged Peak snorted. “When we met to discuss territory, Clear Sky’s group attacked ours.”

Quiet Rain’s gaze flashed to Clear Sky. It seared him like flames and he flinched away. “Is this true?”

“It… it was a mistake,” Clear Sky mumbled. “I wanted to make sure that my group had enough land to hunt in.”

Quiet Rain’s gaze didn’t waver. “You tried to take your brothers’ land; and when they wouldn’t give it up, you attacked them?”

Gray Wing stepped forward. “We all fought with each other,” he insisted.

“We had no choice,” Jagged Peak growled.

Quiet Rain’s ragged fur lifted along her spine. “Who else died in this battle?”

“Jackdaw’s Cry,” Gray Wing mewed softly. “And Falling Feather.”

Clear Sky stiffened. Would Gray Wing tell Quiet Rain that the brother and sister had killed each other? His breath caught in his throat as Gray Wing went on. “The rogues fighting with us were more vicious than we expected. They were willing to fight to the death.”

Relief washed Clear Sky’s pelt. Thank you, Gray Wing.

“Did one of these rogues also kill Turtle Tail?” Quiet Rain demanded.

Gray Wing’s eyes clouded. “She was killed by a monster before the battle.” His shoulders slumped. “It was an accident.”

“And Shaded Moss?” Quiet Rain’s mew weakened.

“Another monster,” Jagged Peak told her.

“Rainswept Flower?”

Clear Sky froze as his mother spoke.

Rainswept Flower! Guilt hollowed his belly as he remembered his killing blow. He glanced desperately at Gray Wing and Jagged Peak. Don’t tell Quiet Rain the truth…

Jagged Peak’s eyes glittered in the shadows. Fear flooded Clear Sky’s pelt as the gray tom lifted his muzzle.

“She was killed in the battle.” Gray Wing flashed a warning look at Jagged Peak.

Quiet Rain’s gaze sharpened. “Why are you looking at each other like that?” She narrowed her eyes. “What are you hiding from me now?”

Clear Sky stepped forward, trembling, and raised his chin. It would be better for Quiet Rain to hear it from him. “ I killed her,” he confessed.

“You?” Quiet Rain stared at him.

Clear Sky forced himself to go on. “I was mad with rage. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“You killed your Tribemate?” Quiet Rain’s gaze fixed on him like a hawk’s.

“It was a battle,” Gray Wing meowed softly. “None of us were thinking straight.”

Quiet Rain jerked her head around. “Get out, Gray Wing!”

Gray Wing flinched.

“Jagged Peak, too.” Quiet Rain dragged her gaze back to Clear Sky.

As Gray Wing and Jagged Peak slunk from the den, Clear Sky backed away from his mother, his heart twisting. Disgust burned in the blue depths of Quiet Rain’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Outside, he could hear Star Flower’s anxious mew. “Where’s Clear Sky?”

“He’s still talking to Quiet Rain,” Gray Wing told her gently.

“What about?” Worry sharpened Star Flower’s voice.

“What’s it got to do with you?” Jagged Peak huffed.

Star Flower hissed. “He’s the father of my kits!”

Clear Sky longed to flee the den and press his nose deep into Star Flower’s fur. Instead, he dragged his gaze back to meet his mother’s.

Her scrawny body was trembling. Fever glistened on her muzzle. Froth showed at the corners of her mouth. Should he call Pebble Heart? But fury was burning in her eyes, stronger than any sickness.

“I did not think I could raise a kit to kill his Tribemate,” she hissed.

“You don’t understand what it was like!” Clear Sky felt the words rise from his throat like the pitiful wail of a kit. “We were in a strange land where the rules of living were very different from what they’d been in the mountains. We had no Stoneteller to advise us. I thought I was doing the right thing!”

“To turn on your kin and your Tribemates?” Quiet Rain snarled. “To slay them?”

Clear Sky leaned close to his mother. “I made a mistake,” he groaned desperately. “You have to forgive me. You’re my mother.”

Pain sliced his nose as Quiet Rain lashed his muzzle with her paw. He ducked away, staring in disbelief at her. This was the cat who had suckled him at her belly; she had watched him bring back his first prey to the cave with eyes shining with pride. Now she stared at him with cold eyes.

“I’m sorry.” The words choked in his throat.

“You are no kit of mine.” Quiet Rain curled her lip. “Get out of my sight. I never want to see you again.”

Clear Sky blinked at her, hoping for a heartbeat that she would hear her own words and realize how cruel she was being. “Forgive me,” he breathed.

“Never.” Her eyes were round with rage.

Clear Sky turned and fled from the den, shocked as snowflakes whipped his muzzle. He squinted through the whiteness, his gaze blurring with grief.

Star Flower’s scent bathed his bleeding nose. Her amber eyes shone through the storm, their irises glittering like stars.

He blinked at her, numb with shock.

“Come with me,” she murmured gently.

Clear Sky was vaguely aware of Gray Wing and Jagged Peak watching him from the clearing.

Tall Shadow was no more than a shape in the swirling snow.

“There’s a hollow in the brambles over here,” Star Flower soothed. “We can rest there until the morning.”

“I want to go home,” he mumbled.

“We must stay.”

Clear Sky felt her warm flank against his and let her guide him across the snow.

As they neared the brambles, she nudged him softly. “Wait here.”

He stared blankly as she hollowed snow from beside the prickly camp wall, digging a den in the shelter of its stems. When she’d finished, she hopped from the shallow dip and nosed him forward.

“We’ll be warm in here.”

His paws scuffed over the snow and slid into the earthen hollow.

Star Flower slipped in beside him. “Lie down.”

He dropped to his belly, his paws buckling, and she curled around him, wrapping her tail over him as though he were a kit. Her gentle purr throbbed against his trembling flank; her warmth slowly seeped through his pelt. Like snow melting, his thoughts cleared. “Am I a monster?” he whispered hoarsely.

“No.” Star Flower’s whisper was firm. “You’re a hero and a leader. You make the tough decisions that other cats fear. There is no shame in that.”

His heart ached, and he pressed hard against Star Flower. He felt her tongue lapping his cheek.

Closing his eyes, he let the warmth of her lull him into sleep.

I hope that she is right…

Thunder blinked open his eyes, surprised to find himself waking in Tall Shadow’s camp. Early rays of sunshine sliced through the canopy. Hushed mews sounded around the clearing. I sent Lightning Tail home. The memory flooded back. Last night, he’d watched Gray Wing and Jagged Peak emerge, shaken and wide-eyed, from their mother’s den and had changed his mind about leaving. Clear Sky and Quiet Rain did not feel like his kin, but Gray Wing and Jagged Peak did. If Quiet Rain was to die, he could not let them mourn alone.