Dewey Lambdin: THE GUN KETCH

"That the two biggest estates are united." Caroline shivered. "After all these years, with Governour and Millicent wed, they are linked."

"Now I see why Governour would not object," Alan laughed in understanding. "There's always the off-chance he'd outlive Harry and end up with it all?"

"Oh, yes!" Caroline nodded. "And to ensure his complaisance, Sir Romney's putting Governour up for Commons next by-election, as his pet member from a rotten borough he controls up north. Harry already sits for Anglesgreen. There're not twenty men with the hundred pounds in rents or income to vote here, and even less in Teverly New Town." Caroline shrugged, then smiled ruefully. "Forgive me, Alan, a woman is not to know such, or involve herself in men's doings, but that's the way things stand here."

"As if that ever stopped you!" Alan hooted, trying to cosset her out of her bleak mood. "I've seen you before, remember, so eager to talk about any subject, then fade back into the woodwork when you think you've overstepped yourself. What a bloody waste!"

"Thank you, Alan, I do appreciate your understanding." Caroline truly smiled for the first time that morning. "Yes, I find it hard to be so… subservient! In North Carolina, so much more was expected of a woman, so much more was she allowed, as a helpmeet to her man and her family! Here, one sews neatly," she complained. "One plays an instrument. One reads, and distills, and orders servants, and cannot dirty one's own dresses at gardening, but must tell others what to do. Here in England, I feel so like an ill-bred… lout !"

"Out of place?" he muttered, laying a hand on hers this time, and she seized his hand like a drowning victim and linked their fingers. "Not a pink-cheeked, rude Colonial, surely."

"Out of place, yes," she sighed, almost on the point of tears. "Truly, I wonder if I have a place! Or a life I may call mine own."

"And what sort of a life do you desire, Caroline?"

"I wish to be happy, Alan. I wish to… to wed someone I love so deeply, and do I if indeed have the… the economy to present that man with a well-run home, then that is what I want. I want children, and perhaps one maid-of-all-work to help a little. But I want to be useful, not only around the house, but on the land. And to myself and those I love. I know I may not aspire to a man's role in this life. I have no wish to enter Parliament, or night wars. But I do wish to be able to use those talents God gave me as a woman, and the mind I believe He gave me for something more useful than… bakingl"

"To be able to talk about any subject without restrictions," Alan suggested.

"Oh, God, yes!" Caroline beamed, laughing at her immodesty, or what most in Society would have called an unnatural, desexing immodesty. "To be included when men talk about important matters and not be run off to the parlor to drink tea and get the card table ready. To be listened to, if I feel I have an idea they haven't. Not patted on the head and told 'tut-tut, there, there, little girl'! Even if it's but the one man who would listen to me, that would be enough, I think."

"And no one is listening to you now?" Alan said, letting go her hand and dismounting. He held her mare's head while she got down, revealing a dizzying vision of a slim white leg above the tops of her riding boots for an instant as her gown and petticoats raked down the saddle.

"Burgess used to," she said, taking his hand once more as they strolled to the south edge of the rolling, wooded hill to look at the splendid morning view. It was a little cloudy and gloomy yet, before the sun broke through, and the tiny dells among the downs were clotted with wisps of mist. "And when I was with you, I felt that you did, or at least attempted to, Alan. But very few people now. Now, I listen, and I am told what I feel, what I should think."

"Whom you should wed, perhaps?" Alan said, stopping them so she would turn to face him. "Is that why you are so sad? I came down, expecting to see the pert lass I remembered, and I find you troubled and melancholy. Who is the right young man of whom your uncle speaks?"

"I have two wonderful choices in life." Caroline gloomed again. "Three, really. The last may be the most acceptable; it does not demand me living a lie. I may take service as governess to a widower's children. Mr. Byford, who rents the land and house we once had."

"And the other two?"

"Between Embleton and Glandon Park, there is a family with more than one thousand fine acres," she said with an impatient shake of her head. "George Tudsbury, another widower, is in need of a wife. He's in his forties, with three children to raise, mostfortunately all of them girls, who may not inherit the land if a younger wife is living. He's a very good friend of my Uncle Phineas. Of much the same tastes."

"Ugh!" Alan exclaimed. "And again, ugh!"

"He, at least, is a decent man, Alan, with no vices. And no hard edges, such as Uncle Phineas. In that, at least, they differ."

"May I assume that he is your uncle's preference?"

"No, you may not. There is also Harry Embleton." She tensed. "Mine arse on a bandbox!" Alan cried. "Why, I met the bastard!"

"And what did you think of him, Alan?" Caroline teased, enjoying Alan's use of what she had come to know as his favorite phrase.

"Caroline, were I a London pimp, I'd have him wash first, and still charge him double for the insult to me whores!" Alan shouted. "Oh, God, Alan, I do so enjoy talking with you!" Caroline laughed out loud, taking hold of his upper arms. "You're just the breath of air that I' ve been needing! You're right, he is a… a bastard!" She took a deep breath, astounded by her own boldness. "He's a cruel, cruel… a… God, if he were in the Carolinas, he'd be a Low Country slaver, no matter the quality of his birth. He's dull, he's… they have a library at Embleton Hall, hundreds of books, and I doubt he's read more than three in his entire life. It's all horses and hounds, politics and sport, who he insulted last, how he put someone in their place…"

"And you've expressed your lack of interest to your uncle, I take it?" Alan asked. "Yet he still allows these gentlemen to call?"

"Insists upon it." Caroline sobered once more. "It matters not which I end up choosing, as long as I choose. He gains more land on either side. Or I may remain a spinster, earning my own keep, should I spite him."

"Govemour won't back you?"

"Oh, Governour is all for Harry, they hunt and fish and ride together, God knows what all," Caroline said with a wave of her hand, as though to drive away a pesky wasp. "Thank God Millicent is for me. She has not pressured me in any way, much as she might care to have me as sister-in-law. I cherish her for deflecting some of Governour's insistences. He thinks that I am of an age to marry, and that beyond the two men, I have few other choices for a suitable match. Therefore, I must marry, and if I must, then Harry is the better, the richer, and the younger, and not as plodding as Mister Tudsbury, who merely wants a married governess for his living children. He points out that if I marry Harry, then either he or I end up with the two estates in time."

"What a marvelous bloody bargain," Alan glowered. "And you the prize mare to seal it. Christ!"

"Now you see why I have been so downcast," Caroline sighed. "And why I was so looking forward to your visit! When you wrote to say that you had first to visit in Devon, I was almost beside myself. But now you're here, and for a few weeks, at least, I shall feel more at ease. The dashing Alan Lewrie could cheer up the dead!"

"I'll do all in my power for you," Alan vowed. "I'll sing songs, I'll play the merry-andrew and be your court fool, if that's what it takes! Shall I do a handstand?" He laughed, trying to balance on his palms, and ended up rolling flat on his back. "I know," he suggested, getting to his feet quickly, "what if I climb this damned oak and fetch you an acorn or two?"