Dewey Lambdin - THE GUN KETCH

"Sir, my orders said to 'make the best of my way,'" Alan replied evenly. "From long usage that is to say, just short of 'with all despatch,' as I am sure you are aware, sir."

"Then you're a fool, a heartless fool, sir!" Garvey snarled.

"My other passengers, sir…" Alan winced as he carried on.

"What? More to be crammed in any-old-how?" Garvey sneered.

"Mister Gatacre and his assistant, sir. Seconded from Trinity House to the Admiralty to conduct a hydrographic survey. And a draft of six midshipmen, sir. I assume they are mentioned in the official despatches, sir," he concluded with what he hoped was a suitably subtle reminder about the Navy correspondence.

"As if I need more midshipmen!" Garvey scowled. "Newlies?"

"Two rather young, sir, two middling… twelvish. And, uhm… the last two from the Royal Naval Academy at Portsmouth, sir."

"Worse man King's Letter Boys!" Garvey sneered. "Sots and mountebanks! Latin, math, and not a single block in any of their rigging! Hah! Top-lofty cunny-thumbs and cack-hands, not an iota of wits in the lot! Foist 'em off on me, will they? Wellll … I'll put a flea in the Admiralty's ear about that, too! Boys cannot learn the sea in a bloody classroom, can't make the connections in the Fleet necessary for patronage and advancement Chasing and caterwauling is all they pick up at that damn-fool… Academy!"

"They did learn sea skills on passage, sir."

"A plow horse leaping two stacked boards ain't a blooded hunter, Lewrie, nor never will be."

"They are indeed a scurvy pair of Tom-Noddys, sir," Lewrie agreed, assaying a small witticism to ease the tension of this vitally important first interview with the man who could make or break him in the next three years, which had so far been tantamount to a disaster. "At present, they're no better than fresh-caught landsmen. Confused they may be, but neither of them is backward. They learn fast, sir."

"What is your armament, sir?" Garvey inquired suddenly, changing tack abruptly. "Your draught?"

"Alacrity mounts ten six-pounders, four dismountable two-pounder boat-guns, and the usual swivels, sir," Lewrie answered crisply, glad to be back on safe professional matters. "Properly laden and ballasted, she draws just shy of nine feet. Say a half less than nine, sir."

"Hmmmm," Garvey mused, idly toying with the lid of his silver inkwell, opening it and closing it again and again, as if something other than ink would magically appear for once. "Anything needful?"

"Firewood and water, the usual plaint, sir," Lewrie smiled in reply. "Restock our biscuit and salt-meats from the dockyard… she is in all other respects ready for sea, sir."

"A touch too weak for deep-water patrolling," Garvey surmised. "We've more than our fair share of pirates and buccaneers, still, and ships voyage past the Bahamas at their peril. Too many privateersmen from the late-lamented war, spoiled by easy pickings. You're not well armed enough to cow merchantmen violating the Navigation Acts, either."

"Aye, sir," Lewrie responded automatically whenever some senior officer paused to gather his thoughts, as he did in this case.

"Shoal-depth enough, though, to be useful inshore, in most instances, where the opposition would be even smaller and weaker-armed than your ketch. This fellow Gatacre, d'you say… I was to supply him with a suitable vessel?"

"I could not presume to know his complete orders, sir," Lewrie wavered, "nor the contents of whatsoever directives from the Admiralty accompany him. I may only suppose. He did, however, express a desire for two local-built luggers, in addition to ship's boats from the vessel supporting him, sir."

"And what do you possess for ship's boats, sir?" Garvey smiled.

"A twenty-foot launch, a cutter of similar size, and my gig, sir."

"Since he is already aboard your vessel, Lewrie, and you have room enough aboard, after all, I do believe I'll let him stay there," Garvey smirked. "The other cutters and such of this squadron would cramp him unmercifully. But Alacrity, now used to extra 'lumber' aft, will cope, I am certain. And those two Naval Academy midshipmen?"

"Aye, sir?" Lewrie felt his buttocks puckering in dread. He'd been charitable at best as to their prospects and abilities, but would be glad to see the back of them. He'd not have them if they came with a post-captain's rank!

"Good at mathematics, to the exclusion of all else useful," Garvey said, leaning back in his cool leather chair. "And who could be more helpful to the exacting work of hydrography than superior students of mathematics and surveying, hmm?"

"What a splendid idea, sir!" Lewrie beamed, pissing down his back as if the bastard had done him a signal honor, though he seethed at the very idea! "What eminent good sense it is, sir. I should be delighted! May I suggest to Mr. Gatacre that he may feel free to call upon you to discuss his other requirements, then, sir? Once you have had time to peruse what the Admiralty wrote you concerning his duties, that is. A day, perhaps, at your convenience, sir."

"Uhm, of course, he may," Garvey replied, taken aback by Alan's reaction. "You may." He'd thought to punish this upstart for treating his kin so badly, to be the whipping boy for the Admiralty's callous unconcern for their comforts. To put this "newly" in his place, right from the start!

"And may I be allowed to inquire, sir, as to whether I may give leave tickets to my hands, too, sir?" Lewrie fairly oozed unctuous oils of sociability, sounding as though butter would not melt in his mouth. "Once Alacrity is reprovisioned and suitable luggers found, before we begin our surveying, sir?"

"I might allow it," Garvey almost sulked, put out that Alan was not "put out."

"Within reason, mind."

"Further, sir, might I inquire as to your Standing Orders for the Bahamas Squadron?" Lewrie pressed, bestowing blissful smiles upon his station commander. "Do you require captains to sleep aboard, as I do believe the Channel Squadron is wont to do in wartime? Or may I consider shore lodgings for myself between voyages, sir?"

"Like to stretch your legs on solid ground, do you?" Garvey asked, lifting an eyebrow, which evident suspicion as to his motives almost made Lewrie cringe with worry it might be disallowed.

"A run ashore now and again would be welcome, sir," Lewrie replied with bright-eyed innocence. "Within limits, of course, sir."

"I do not begrudge my officers their pleasures, Lewrie," Garvey informed him. "What's good for Jack is good for his betters aft. So long as you conduct yourself with the proper decorum expected of a Sea Officer, a Christian, and an English gentleman."

And just when did you last see decorous Sea Officers, Lewrie asked himself in wonder at such a ludicrous statement? Leaping rantipole and playing balum-rancum in church? Hymn-singing in brothels?

"So I would have time to seek out an establishment, sir?" Alan said, cocking a brow of his own to nail the agreement shut without having to mention the necessity of such lodgings, or the fact that he had brought Caroline with him. He didn't think Garvey would care for that.

"I suppose," Garvey sighed. "Yes, you may."

"Thank you, sir. Quite grateful. Quite."

"Before you sail, I will send specific orders aboard, Lewrie," Garvey went on, pulling the packet of official documents to him for an excuse to dismiss him. "As to the survey, what needs doing against our piracy problem, the enforcement of the Navigation Acts, and how I expect ships of the Bahamas Station to conduct themselves. Use your hydrographic work to familiarize yourself with what perils our waters hold. And remember, I warn you now, to handle your vessel with due care and sober rectitude, or I'll dismiss you from her command and replace you with an officer who does things my way. Hear me?"