Edward Marston - Fire and Sword

The roof was now sound, the rooms swept clean, the shutters mended and new doors kept out the wind and rain. They’d even made some crude furniture. Anything else they’d needed, they’d simply looted. From the ruins of the barn, a new one had risen, stocked with hay and straw. Animals penned behind the farmhouse were killed and roasted when the need arose. A pig was turning on the spit today, the tempting aroma of pork wafting through the air. The men were already licking their lips.

There was another paradox. Soldiers who’d deserted from an army that imposed too much discipline on them had readily accepted an even stricter regimen. They knew that it was essential to follow orders now or forfeit their lives. There was, however, a difference. In the army, they were at the mercy of loathsome superiors against whom they had no redress. They were now part of a band that had elected their leader. Matthew Searle was one of them, a soldier from the rank and file, a strong-minded man who’d refused a chance to become a corporal out of sheer bloody-mindedness. Yet now he was wearing the uniform of a captain, albeit one that was stained with blood and ventilated by bullet holes. Searle was bold, cunning and decisive. He held the ragged band together by force of character.

Edwin Lock was a short, skinny, rat-faced man with bulging eyes and a twitching moustache. Sucking on his pipe, he sidled across to Searle, who was seated at the kitchen table, counting money.

‘I need to speak to you, Matt,’ he said.

‘Shut up,’ ordered Searle.

‘We’ve been talking, you see.’

‘I don’t care what you’ve been doing, Edwin. You can just hold your tongue until I finish. Open that big mouth of yours again and I’ll halve your share. Is that what you want?’

Lock held his peace and waited impatiently as Searle put the money into a series of piles. It was the life savings of the family who’d occupied the last farm they’d raided. At the time, it had seemed like a reasonable haul. Divided between ten of them, however, it looked less substantial. Searle was a natural democrat. He expected no privileges because of his position as leader. Ten equal amounts stood on the table. His arithmetic lesson was over.

‘Well?’ he asked, glancing up at Lock. ‘What have you got to say for yourself this time?’

‘It’s really what the others have got to say, Matt. They get bored out here without women.’

‘The town is only two hours away. All they have to do is to ride over there and they can buy the juiciest slit they want. They have the time and the money.’

‘Wouldn’t it be easier to have the women here?’ said Lock with a sly grin. ‘The girl in that last farm, for instance. Why did we have to kill her? She’d have given us sport for days out here.’

‘Yes,’ conceded Searle, ‘but you’d all have been fighting each other over whose turn it was next. I want none of that here, Edwin. If they want to dip their wick, the men can ride into town. The whores are cheap and succulent there.’

‘Then why don’t we pay for some of them to come here?’

‘No, I tell you.’

‘They could cook and sew for us as well.’

‘They’d be too busy on their backs,’ said Searle, stroking his red beard. ‘I love my fucking as much as the next man but I know the dangers of having women under our feet. They’re a terrible distraction and they’d expect to be pampered.’ Rising to his feet, he towered over Lock. ‘We’re on the run, Edwin. Never forget that. There’ll be patrols out looking for us and it may be necessary for us to find another place to hide. That’s why I keep a man on top of that hill in daylight hours. We must always be on our guard.’

‘Women would help to pass the time.’

‘They’d encumber us and there’s an end to it.’

‘We miss them, Matt. It’s one of the reasons we deserted.’

‘You’ll have your share of cunny before too long,’ promised Searle with a grin. ‘I’ve picked out the next farm already. I went over there last week to get the lie of the land. There’s a buxom wife, two daughters and two servants. That’s five lovely women between us. Pass the news around to the men. We’ll take our pleasure with them before we send them up to heaven in dancing flames.’

Lock was thrilled. ‘I like the sound of that,’ he said, panting. ‘British soldiers will have another victory to enjoy.’

‘Not this time, Edwin.’

‘No?’

‘This farm is in enemy territory so we’ll change sides. Look out those blue uniforms we collected,’ ordered Searle. ‘When we burn down the next farm and swive the women, we’ll be troopers in the French cavalry.’

Conversations with Vendome were usually unpleasant occasions but the duc de Burgundy found them almost unbearable when they took place early in the morning. While the devout Burgundy began each new day by offering up his prayers, Vendome preferred to occupy his chaise-percee, his camp lavatory, writing letters, issuing orders and receiving visitors while seated with his breeches around his ankles. When Burgundy called on him that morning and saw him in his customary position, he took care to stand a few yards away. It was a revolting sight for such a fastidious man.

‘I need to speak to you about Major Crevel,’ he began.

‘There’s no such person,’ replied Vendome, brusquely. ‘Crevel has been reduced to the ranks where he belongs.’

‘You are too hasty, my lord Duke. Crevel is a fine officer with a good record. More to the point, he comes from a family with a long history of military excellence.’

‘He besmirched that history and deserves his fate.’

‘That’s a matter of opinion,’ said Burgundy, noting the copious tobacco stains on Vendome’s shirt. ‘I would have acted rather differently in this matter.’

‘Are you saying that you’d promote that imbecile?’

‘Major Crevel is not an imbecile. He’s an intelligent man.’

‘Then why did he let himself get ensnared so easily by an enemy spy? Why did he get so drunk that he could be kidnapped, stripped of his uniform and left in a ditch? What glimmer of intelligence can you perceive in that? No,’ Vendome went on, ‘I stand by my action. When a man shows himself unworthy of his position — and when he lets himself be humiliated like that — he merits instant dismissal.’

‘That’s for me to decide.’

‘I disagree, my lord.’

‘The matter should have been referred to me.’

‘That was quite unnecessary. After all,’ said Vendome with ill-concealed sarcasm, ‘you have a vast army to lead. You have to draw up a plan of campaign that will end in a famous French victory. Why should you bother about such trivialities as the demotion of a useless officer?’

‘I don’t regard it as trivial,’ retorted Burgundy. ‘In responding the way that you did, you set a bad example.’

‘I think I set a very good example. The best way to preserve discipline is to crack the whip from time to time. And I’ve always believed that officers should be punished severely if their conduct warrants it. You, of course,’ he added with a patronising smile, ‘have much less experience of dealing with this sort of problem so you are bound to flounder.’

Burgundy blenched. ‘I am not floundering, my lord Duke!’

‘The matter is closed. Why not leave it at that?’

‘Because,’ said the other, ‘I do not choose to do so.’

‘Forget Crevel. I have.’

‘I can’t do that, I’m afraid. The major has appealed directly to me and shown true remorse. He admits his folly and has vowed to be more circumspect in future. Heavens!’ he exclaimed. ‘If every officer who gets involved in a drinking bout is to be punished, then we’ll have nobody left to lead the men.’