R. Peake - Marching With Caesar - Conquest of Gaul

We waited for more, but nothing was forthcoming, and I was about to open my mouth to urge him to keep speaking when Calienus shot me a warning glance, shaking his head as he nodded over my shoulder. Sneaking a peek I saw that Gisela was grabbing another round of wine, so we remained silent until she walked away. Once he saw her engaged in conversation with one of the other patrons, Calienus continued, watching Gisela furtively to make sure she stayed out of earshot. “I didn’t tell you boys this, but Gisela was pregnant.”

Our initial reaction was to burst out in congratulations before the full meaning of his words cut through the fog of wine building in my brain. “Was? You mean,” I wasn’t sure what the right word was, never having reason to use the word miscarriage before, “she…lost it?”

He nodded, looking more miserable than I had ever seen him, as Vibius and I exchanged a glance, totally unsure what the right thing to say to such news was.

Finally, Vibius spoke hesitantly, “I’m sorry Calienus. That must have been very hard for both of you.” Trying to look on the bright side, he continued cheerfully, “But that doesn’t mean you can’t try again, and that’s half the fun, neh?”

Calienus smiled wanly, but his voice betrayed his sadness as he replied, “That’s just the thing. Gisela is convinced that somehow I’m cursed, and any child borne by her that’s mine is destined to die.”

Vibius and I looked at each other in shock. “Where did she get that nonsense?” I demanded this a bit too loudly, causing Calienus to wince while shooting a nervous glance over at Gisela, who thankfully was still engaged in her conversation. I could see how disturbed Calienus was, because he normally would never have tolerated her talking to another man he did not know for such a long time, but that seemed to be the farthest thing from his mind. “She went to one of her people’s soothsayers, and the bitch told Gisela that any child of mine was destined to die.”

“But why?” Vibius asked. “She had to have some reason for saying that.”

Calienus looked away, and I could not tell if he was embarrassed, or if there was something else bothering him. Keeping his face turned away so that he was not looking at us, he replied, speaking so softly that we almost did not hear him. “She said that the reason our children would die is so they wouldn't have to live without a father. The soothsayer said that I’m going to be dying…..soon.”

We sat there for a moment, stunned. Both of us had heard tales of men who received divinations of one sort or another that foretold their deaths, but none of these men were anyone we knew until this moment. As we sat there absorbing this, there was something that bothered me, and I asked Calienus, “But why is Gisela mad at you? You have no control over what the soothsayer told her, and it’s not your fault you lost the baby.”

Now Calienus looked both embarrassed and pained. “It’s just that……” he stopped, staring down into his wine cup. We sat there for what seemed like several moments before he finally finished his sentence, blurting out, “It’s just that after she lost the baby and she went to the soothsayer, I signed on for another enlistment. That’s why she’s mad at me. She thinks I’m openly defying the gods.”

I probably should have left well enough alone, yet the thought that Gisela was punishing Calienus for re-enlisting bothered me to the point that one night, with Calienus deciding that perhaps it was best that he stay in camp for a few days, I violated the rules and went to see Gisela alone. Making my way to the bar, when I entered by myself Gisela looked at me in surprise then walked up to me, giving me a quick hug like she always did, while I felt a thrill of excitement like I always did.

“ Salve Titus Pullus,” she said in her accented camp Latin, waving me to our normal table.

Without asking, she brought me a cup of wine, then remained standing there, staring at me with those green eyes. I could swear that she was looking into my soul and seeing my true feelings. I felt the heat rising to my face, making me thankful when she cut the silence that was growing between us by asking, “And what are you doing here all by yourself? Where is Domitius?”

I was surprised that she did not mention Calienus, although I probably should not have been. Not sure how to approach the subject, I decided to handle it in the same manner I did with all things in my life, head on and swinging away. “Why are you angry at Calienus?” I asked bluntly.

If I had thought to take her by surprise, I was to be disappointed. Her eyes showed nothing but a hint of anger. “Did he send you here for him?” she demanded, putting her hands on her hips, cocking her head to one side as she waited for an answer.

I struggled to keep my focus on the topic and not get lost in my inspection of the freckles sprinkled across her nose. A part of me continued the conversation, as I protested, “No! He knows nothing about me being here.”

Her expression softened, but just a little. “Then why are you here?”

There was no way that I could give her the real reason, so the best I could do was a lame, “Well, because I’m worried about him.”

She laughed, and I saw how impossibly white her teeth were, making me feel positively dingy in comparison. “Calienus? You’re worried about Calienus?”

She shook her head, but all the humor left her face when I responded. “I know about the soothsayer,” I said quietly.

Her face flushed red, except I could not tell whether it was anger or embarrassment or both. “He had no right to tell you such things,” she hissed.

“He’s our friend Gisela,” I shot back. “He had to talk to someone about it.”

“And did he tell you what he did after I told him?”

I nodded. “Yes, he told us. But you’re consulting one of your soothsayers, correct?”

“Yes, but what does that have to do with it?” she demanded, and in truth, I did not know myself. I just said that because I did not know what else to say. However, I had blazed the path in this direction, so I must see it through, I thought to myself, even if it makes her even angrier. “It has to do with the fact that you and your soothsayer have your own gods. They’re not our gods.”

Even as I said it, I suspected that this would make her angrier, and I was right.

“So, you are saying that your gods are more powerful,” she spat.

I shrugged, not saying anything for a moment, seeing that she was in no mood to make this easy on me. “Isn’t it obvious?” I asked, and in truth I thought it was, and still do. “We’ve conquered your people, no matter how much of a struggle you put up. Isn’t that proof that our gods are more powerful than yours?”

The blow caught me completely by surprise, her tiny white fist lashing out with surprising speed to strike me square in the chest, and I say with no shame that she almost knocked the wind out of me. I was stunned, but when she drew her fist back to strike me again, I was not about to let her hit me again, catching her wrist as she lashed out instead. She was surprisingly strong, but she was no match for me and I came to my feet to tower over her. Thinking that the strength of my grip would dissuade her from any more violence, it turned out I was wrong, because she lashed out with her left hand, with an open palm this time as she slapped me across the face, hard. My head rocked back and I felt the fire where her hand had hit me on my right cheek, the first stirring of real anger coming over me, anger and………something else. Drawing her hand back to hit me again, I caught that one as well, so that I now held both her arms, but she was not through yet. Standing there for a moment, the only sound was our breathing as she struggled and thrashed wildly, the barman and the two other patrons in the place shocked into silence. I stood there, immobile and unyielding, watching her fight wildly to escape my grip, her red hair whipping about like liquid flame, her cheeks flushed red and her lips parted as she gasped for breath, so that whatever reservations I was feeling up to that moment vanished, deciding then and there that she would be my woman, one way or another, whether I had to fight Calienus for her, or if her gods turned out to be right after all. The instant that thought crossed my mind it was like being dashed with a bucket of cold water and I came to my senses, shocked at myself. To that point I was standing there passively as she struggled, but now I shook her, hard.