Тимонг Лайтбрингер: Ненависть, Неверие, Надежда [поэзия]

I see myself between the two -
But one is false, and one is true,
For one is night and one is day
No matter what the others say.

The first is silent, first is cold,
One needs to be both hot and bold
To dare melt that icy heart.
Will you succeed? Go try it, but...

The second is both warm and kind,
It may be not so sharp in mind,
It may be not so swift in tongue -
But it had never-ever stung.

The first is like secular lioness -
It is the grace, it is the finesse,
It is the beautiful snowflake …
But what one's hands with it will make ?

The second's like domestic cat -
To see you home she's always glad,
And she will rub about knees
To make you happy and to please.

The first is the unwilling one
To share moon, to share sun,
To share failure and success -
It's not accustomed to stress.

The second will go hand-in-hand
By any road, through any land,
In any way you just have sighted -
And in that way you'll be united.

The first will look but with contempt
If you have riches that not tempt,
If you first offer own love -
Like useful slave you'll always bow.

The second will ask for but love
That's warm as sun, and fly as dove,
Will look at you with gleaming glance -
And that's the main dif-fe-rence.

Listen now, oh Never One,
Hear me, your worthless son,
Burn my soul, tie my eyes,
Oh ... revenge my useless cries !

You are but excuse of God,
Nothing good I've ever got,
Nothing fair, nothing right,
Pity "faith" won't cloud the mind.

Pity faith will never help
Cruel, foul, evil whelp !
Useless faith does not exist,
And no more my sight will twist.

I do see you very clear …
Never-ever were you near,
Far beyond the line of sight,
Full of divine, useless might,

Full of hatred, full of greed,
On the suffering you've feed
Like a monstrous, hellish beast ...
No, no more my sight will twist !

The pleads, the begging, the despair...
Were these calls not fully fair?
What is else do you need
To reply us, humans breed?!

Why, why, why, for heaven's sake
Have you brought us in your wake,
Have abandoned long ago?!
Leave me be, extinguish, go !

Disappear from my life,
You are like a skinning knife
Making wounds only deeper...
You won't have me, butcher-reaper !

So be cursed, useless one,
Die in mind of every son
And be healed, like a fever,
We don't need you, never-ever...

But when my time for you will come
I'll face you straight - and I won't run...
For I am too a heaven's son,
The one, who's free - the Faithless One.

The Modern One, I was a fool,
The Heartless One, I was your tool,
The Sunless One, I could be light ...
I am yet again alone in night.

You are the child of this age,
I am an ancient, ageless sage,
You are the youth in ages gold,
I am immortal, very old.

Behind my steps - the thousand lives,
Behind success - the thousand tries,
Behind my wings - the thousand dreams ...
I have redeemed own sins.

I am a star in darkest night
And for myself I'm own guide,
You are reflection, shining deep,
You have no wings, you like to creep,

You like to feed on own lacks -
The child, full of epoch's bracks,
I would prefer to leave you, rather,
There is no fate for us together.

You are the victim of your age,
But time will break this golden cage,
And time will teach you how to play
With love of other, who’s your prey.

With time you'll die in mind of mine,
The time will help me not to pine,
The time will be life's own sage,
For I was born in the wrong age.

So yet again I am behind,
I am victim of my own mind,
The time will help my heart unfreeze.

There is no one.


... Or is there is ?

As time pass on the body dies,
There are no ways to stop its cries,
The fate will once stop rolling dice
And past will measure pain's size.

The past is painful, future's dark,
The fate decides well whom to mark,
That mark is curse and not a gift,
Its pressure one will never lift.

May it be called a Divine Hell !
You will not stop my holy gall,
I will return you bits of pain
And in its waters you I'll sain !

I swear that you shall soon feel
That I do have my own will,
And I wish stepping own way
To all your plans I could say "nay" !

…But since the god is long no more,
There is no one to blame for gore,
There is no one to judge for pain
And all the pleads will be in vain.

It matters not if I survive -
Myself of curse I will deprive,
To find the painless way to sky ...
The price for wings is truly high.


As time pass on the body dies
To free the spirit way to rise,
It is the nature of that tolling
That makes the dice of fate keep rolling.

All I feel now is the pain,
All my hopes were but in vain,
And there is no one to blame...
Damn it, have I gone insane ?!

Will this be all just the same,
Am I but a soul lame,
Cursed to be left alone
With no love, no hope, all prone?

If I'm such a foul man -
Then ignore me when you can,
Never giving any hope,
Never leaving me to mope !

Oh, my girl, but you insist...
Yes, I’m able to resist,
Yes, I may not surrender...
Will that help, I truly wonder?

Oh, I can bury my feeling
And become the coldest being,
"Normal" man without heart,
Yes, I can resist you, but ...

You will drop me soon enough
Just to find the man that's tough -
One, that's able to resist,
One, whose heart will never twist.

Trust me, I am used to this,
I do have to pay my fees
All in hope to find one day
Only one, who won't say "nay",

Only one, chosen for me...
I will find her, you'll see !
But for now I won't resist,
Have some pleasure, at the least...


People all walk strangest ways,
Passing by without trace,
Hoping to find love one day
And forget to say theirs "nay"...