Сергей и Дина Волсини - To Forgive or To Revenge. Collection of articles

Copyright © 2014 by Sergey and Dina Volsini

© Illustrated by Roman Shisterov, 2014

© Translated from Russian to English by Yuriy Chetverzhuk, 2014

Love is the main thing a man lives for, and everyone is aware of it in his heart. There's no man who would not seek for love, who would not aspire to give it and receive it in return. However, there are situations when we start to think that we are not fated to meet our destiny and to perceive happiness of mutual love. No matter how hard we try, all for nothing, as if we are destined for being alone. Can one person influence the fate of another by depriving of love just through his intention? So let's try to make it clear.

Let's imagine that a man meets his love, his true soul mate, with whom he is convinced he is destined to pass the track of life. But something happens that does not make these plans come true. Someone's intervention does not allow to stay with the beloved, severs a man from the love of his life and puts the end to his love. A huge outcry is born in the human soul at the moment, the reasons of which can be easily explicable: his soul might have been embodied in this world just for the sake of being with the beloved, and it is the main task of his life. But now when his love is taken away he feels as if he is deprived of life.

Who would be this protest directed at? To the one what a man finds to be responsible for his woes. If this is a society with its foundations, then a man would rebel against the society, its laws and authorities. If these are any circumstances, the fate or even the God himself, a man would be disillusioned with religion, higher powers or his faith. But if he considers a particular person to be responsible for having taken away his love, the entire protest would be directed at the person. He would be addressed with the darkest wishes, for a man wishes to punish the offender, to take revenge, to make him feel what a man has experienced before.

Whenever we want somebody to lose a loved one or to lose something that is dear to his heart, thus we wish him to stay without love, and, therefore, not to stay alive. Concentrated wish for “dis-love” directed at a specific person, is, in fact, wish for death.

To this day, there are some societies in which such wishes are to be implemented in the most primitive way – depriving the offender of his life, such as a blood feud of mountain people or vendetta of Sicilians. However, in most cases, that is not an issue of physical violence. At the same time wishing death is not going away, and black arrows of grievances are targeting the offender with the same force as well. So, what would happen next? There are three versions of events.

A man might express his protest in no way, if the one who deprived him of love, were an unshakable authority in his eyes. This might be one of the older members of the family, for example, a mother whose opinion is not questioned, or a father, whose word is law. The higher authority of the parent is, the less is the likelihood that the misfortune of a man might be known by anyone in general, because he dares not even hint that his heart is broken through the fault of the parent. He does not allow himself to doubt the parent and tries to convince himself that the parent is right, but the heart is protesting, because it feels the opposite. Hence a conflict arises, and, because a man does not allow himself to put it outside – to acknowledge, much less – to voice, – the energy of the protest finds no output, and, staying inside a man, begins to destroy him.

Spiritual dissonance leads to the destruction of the body, and a young, healthy person, as soon as started out in life, suddenly feels ill. What kind of and how severe the disease is – it depends on many factors, but one should not underestimate the challenge: a man, confused and having lost his faith in love, is ready to leave this world with ease, and if there's no help in time, then it happens – through illness or other tragic event. People who have passed away at a young age, single elderly women who have never married and have no children, men who couldn't find their feet and refused to start a family – all these are examples of suppressed and deeply hidden conflicts based on the idea imposed upon a person of the impossibility of love.

In another case, a man finds a specific person to be responsible for his unhappiness. That might be a woman who has severed from the beloved, a man who is a rival, or, for example, someone who has slandered a person in the eyes of beloved and has become a cause of the break. At the same time the one, who is deprived of love, can be wrong in his findings and cannot see the whole picture of what is happening, but it is impossible to convince the person: as he believes the responsible is found.

He cannot punish the offender himself, but remains in full confidence that the offender should and will be punished, because justice should prevail. Person may express his opinion straight to the offender or may tell him nothing, but speak out at his back imposing his point of view upon others, spreading rumors and setting others against the offender. It does also happen that a person hypocritically communicates with the offender, is well received at his home and family, maintains outwardly good relations pretending the former resentment is gone.

Whatever the mask a man could wear he hides the resentment and matures most bad wishes in his heart. Every time, remembering the offender, he mentally creates negative images around him and increases them scrolling in his mind over and over again. Person generates the offender's punishment and lives in expectation of the divine scourge day by day. But he ignores a single point – all these feelings are by his own, and therefore they start to be playable in his own life.

Whether these wishes can affect whom they are addressed or not, but the man, staying in the grievance and anger, brings relevant events primarily to himself and his loved ones. And when there is another bad luck, he justifies himself with that old story again and habitually blames someone who once treated him unfairly.

Here is an example of life. The young man was injured after falling from a ladder. He considered his brother to be responsible for that, because the latter was close to him at the time, but couldn't help. At the same time he was going through parting with the girl whom he was going to marry, and thus he began to blame his brother not only in the loss of health, but in all the subsequent misfortunes as well, the main of which – the loss of love. For the next twenty years a woman was constantly staying with him. She became both his housekeeper and the companion in his business. She loved him selflessly and was devoted to him, but the resentment did not allow the man to see this love – he was living with the memories of the past and waiting for the day when justice would prevail and the fate would punish his brother.

It often happens a person is taken pity on and sympathized with because of that past story, and given help as well, but all in vain: he seems to be looking for new troubles on purpose, as if trying to prove that no good can happen no longer in his life – and that's all for the same reason. There is more trouble, hurt is all the stronger. Resentment grows and the number of misfortunes increases. Thus a vicious circle is formed, and only the man himself can leave it if he dares to do so. But if he undertakes nothing, negative feelings and corresponding events will spread to his children and grandchildren, thereupon they will have to improve the situation.