Ирвин Ялом: The Schopenhauer Cure

will make him so; he seldom attains his goal and, when

he does it is only to be disappointed: he is mostly

shipwrecked in the end, and comes into harbor with

masts and riggings gone. And then it is all one whether

he has been happy or miserable; for his life was never

anything more than a present moment, always

vanishing; and now it is over.

After a long silence Rebecca said, «That sends

shivers up my back.»

«I know what you mean,” said Bonnie.

«I know I`m sounding like an uptight English

professor,” said Pam, addressing the entire group, «but I

urge you, don`t be misled by rhetoric. That quote adds

nothing of substance to what Philip has been saying all

along; it only says it more persuasively. Schopenhauer was

a brilliant stylist and wrote the best prose of any

philosopher. Except for Nietzsche, of course—no one

wrote better than Nietzsche.»

«Philip, I want to respond to your comment about

our basic orientations,” said Julius. «I don`t believe we`re

as far apart as you think. I don`t disagree with much that

you and Schopenhauer have said about the tragedy of the

human condition. Where you go east and I go west is when

we turn to the question ofwhat to do about it. How shall we

live? How to face our mortality? How to live with the

knowledge that we are simply life–forms, thrown into an

indifferent universe, with no preordained purpose?

«As you know,” Julius continued, «though I`m more

interested in philosophy than most therapists, I`m no

expert. Yet, I`m aware of other bold thinkers who have not

flinched from these raw facts of life and who have arrived

at entirely different solutions than Schopenhauer. I`m

thinking particularly of Camus, Sartre, and Nietzsche, who

all advocate life engagement rather than Schopenhauer`s

pessimistic resignation. The one I know best is Nietzsche.

You know, when I first received my diagnosis and was in a

state of panic, I openedThus Spoke Zarathustra and was

both calmed and inspired—especially by his life–celebratory comment that we should live life in such a

manner that we`d say yes if we were offered the

opportunity to live our life again and again in precisely the

same manner.»

«How did that relieve you?» asked Philip.

«I looked at my life and felt that I had lived it right—

no regrets frominside though, of course, I hated theoutside

events that took my wife from me. It helped me decide how

I should live my remaining days: I should continue doing

exactly what had always offered me satisfaction and

meaning.»

«I didn`t know that about you and Nietzsche, Julius,”

said Pam. «It makes me feel even closer to you

becauseZarathustra, melodramatic as it is, remains one of

my absolutely favorite books. And I`ll tell you my favorite

quote from it. It`s when Zarathustra says, ‘Was that life?

Well, then, once again!` I love people who embrace life and

get turned off by those who shrink away from it—I`m

thinking of Vijay in India. Next ad I run in a personal

column maybe I`ll post that Nietzsche quote and the

Schopenhauer tombstone quote side–by–side and ask

respondents to choose between them. That would winnow

out the nay–sayers.

«I have another thought I want to share.» Pam turned

to face Philip. «I guess it`s obvious that after the last

meeting I thought about you a lot. I`m teaching a course on

biography, and in my reading last week I ran across an

amazing passage in Erik Erikson`s biography of Martin

Luther. It goes something like this:‘Luther elevated his own

neurosis to that of a universal patient–hood and then tried

to solve for the world what he could not solve for himself.` I

believe that Schopenhauer, like Luther, seriously fell into

this error and that you`ve followed his lead.»

«Perhaps,” responded Philip in a conciliatory

fashion, «neurosis is a social construct, and we may need a

different kind of therapy and a different kind of philosophy

for different temperaments—one approach for those who

are replenished by closeness to others and another approach

for those who choose the life of the mind. Consider, for

example, the large numbers who are drawn to Buddhist

meditation retreats.»

«That remind me of something I`ve been meaning to

say to you, Philip,” said Bonnie. «I think your view of

Buddhism misses something. I`ve attended Buddhist

retreats where the focus has been directed outwards—on

loving kindness and connectivity—not on solitude. A good

Buddhist can be active, in the world, even politically

active—all in the service of loving others.»

«So it`s becoming clearer,” said Julius, «that your

selectivity error involves human relationships. To give

another example: you`ve cited the views about death or

solitude of several philosophers but never speak of what

these same philosophers—and I`m thinking of the Greek

philosophers—have said about the joys ofphilia, of

friendship. I remember one of my own supervisors quoting

me a passage from Epicurus saying that friendship was the

most important ingredient for a happy life and that eating

without a close friend was living the life of a lion or a wolf.

And Aristotle`s definition of a friend—one who promotes

the better and the sounder in the other—comes close to my

idea of the ideal therapist.»

«Philip,” Julius asked, «how is this all feeling today?

Are we laying too much on you at once?»

«I`m tempted to defend myself by pointing out that

not one of the great philosophers ever married, except

Montaigne, who remained so disinterested in his family

that he was unsure how many children he had. But, with

only one remaining meeting, what`s the point? It`s hard to

listen constructively when my entire course, everything I

plan to do as a counselor, is under attack.»

«Speaking for myself, that`s not true. There`s a great

deal you can contribute, much that youhave contributed to

the members here. Right?» Julius scanned the group.

After lots of strenuous head–nodding affirmation for

Philip, Julius continued: «But, if you`re to be a counselor,

youmust enter the social world. I want to remind you that

many, I would betmost, of those who will consult you in

your practice will need help in their interpersonal

relationships, and if you want to support yourself as a

therapist, youmust become an expert in these matters—

there`s no other way. Just take a look around the group:

everyone here entered because of conflicted relationships.

Pam came in because of problems with the men in her life,

Rebecca because of the way her looks influenced her

relations with others, Tony because of a mutually

destructive relationship with Lizzy and his frequent fights

with other men, and so on for everyone.»

Julius hesitated, then decided to include all the

members. «Gill entered because of marital conflict. Stuart

because his wife was threatening to leave him, Bonnie

because of loneliness and problems with her daughter and

ex–husband. You see what I mean, relationships cannot be

ignored. And, don`t forget, that`s the very reason I insisted

you enter the group before offering you supervision.»

«Perhaps there`s no hope for me. My slate of

relationships, past and present, is blank. Not with family,

not with friends, not with lovers. I treasure my solitude, but