Sergej Strelyaev - Only craft

But also these dreams were a small part of the desirable – even more often in dreams near women, exactly as houses on posters in a bedroom and a hall that is with which, just met and did not stand nearby also his face flashed. It went further: “To the fortieth anniversary …. No, long. By thirty five years I will achieve unknown heights, the whole stadiums in honor of my anniversary will gather, even I will write the song and, wearily, not to refuse forces to the questioning public, I will execute it on a vseuslyshaniye. Girls, struyashchy the beauty from screens, learn about Alexander Klot’s existence, will begin to dream of my attention. We will change over, I will become the unattainable purpose, a riddle which they see each other to me now. Each of them will compose the song, having put music on my verses. During execution of a line will flare on a stadium board bright fire. This flame will go to eternity, but will not sink into it, and will take the worthy place there, and will burn to a skonchaniye of times. I will be always remembered. In recreation centers, on squares still lifetime monuments to my genius will tower. Alexander Klot …. And the pseudonym is not necessary to me, the fine accord…! The most famous and rich people will consider it as honor to reap my hand, in the face of millions will begin to look for my friendship, without turning away, without being ashamed, and being proud of acquaintance”. Newspapers will call him the most great creator of the present and it if does not surpass, then, at least, will rise near authors whom Klot more than once asked council which novels do not become dusty on shelves. Numerous societies of writers will urge to join their ranks, but it will remain the proud single. Lita will leave by then, without having understood, without having believed, without having waited. … The destiny wholly will pay off with the girl for treachery – will force to shed tears, to vegetate in poverty, damning itself and the inability to consider, support and to wait a little. “At first she will prefer richer, and as a result progadat: the elect will be ruined, and after and will become an inveterate drunkard …". And new mistresses of Alexander, and at once not one, will begin to look after, protect tremblingly him the genius, to indulge the slightest whims. He should not dream of other girls any more, they already will be others, the carrying-out any his desires about the half-words which are listening spellbound behind this half-word to it. Each phrase which took off from his lips will turn into infinitely quoted pearl …. “And they and now quietly live, perfectly look, with someone communicate, but not with me, they do not know me yet, but precisely wait, such present, genuine which, for certain, with the girl you will not mix, unlike their present fleeting, differently and cannot be, hobbies”. But the relations filled at the rapid nights without obligations were disturbed by physical work and poverty – idleness is given full-fledged love as living only for themselves there is nothing to be engaged more. And fatigue too at anything – not the main hindrance in pleasures. What pleasures can be felt when understanding the pettiness? Alexander believed that glory, love and, of course, freedom already close. It is a little more, and everything will be quite so. “… But having reached height, I will not deteriorate, I will banish arrogance, I will remain same as now, simple and modest. Unless grief in eyes will increase: saw, learned… and not without consequences. Wisdom, restraint and accuracy of the old man will affect my body. People will notice how I bear unimaginable for others I carry as strong I experience tortures from available to one to me knowledge”.

In a hurry soaping the head, groping a bast with the narrowed eyes, Alexander overturned a bottle with shampoo. A kind quarter of dense liquid went to the sewerage. “All …. Week it is necessary to use one soap. Otherwise until the end of a month will not be enough”, – the drawn conclusion against the background of recently represented events, could make cry anyone, but the appeared in time rage saved the guy from despair. “To save it!” Together with shampoo through a lattice on a floor also pougasshy dreams filtered. Bright colors grew dim, the real life, and together with it and shower, covered with the tile which is falling off walls, with the bulbs which are clumsily hanging down from a ceiling, a rust on a floor came back. At the same time watered with hatred and envy Klot of those of whom dreamed, whose ranks wanted to join. “They lead inaccessible, expensive and beautiful life, and to me to save”, – any more without being angry, and longing, it accurately twirled a stopper. As it is bitter, and it was necessary to save shampoo nevertheless, as well as matches, gas, electricity, I go also everything, giving in to economy.

Despite burning desire to sit down for work, Alexander did not begin to change plans – came into friendly shops. The pocket and soul were warmed by the money given by the master. Bought a new chain on a saw, couple of pleasant souvenirs: the globe, a metal flask for cognac, glass figures of fishes, pleased itself with the next lighter with the built-in small lamp which did not hurry to use, and did not fill with gas though the barrel providently got. Клот left everything saved up for the best times when it is not able to spoil a beautiful thing, to bedraggle it at rough physical works. Expecting hour of triumph of the owner, every month the next set of trinkets flew to a sideboard.

Admired the electronic measuring instrument of nitrates, counted the salary rest, damned its space price …. Still was enough on rubber, warmed by fur, boots. Similar purchases did not please the guy, but were constantly debugged need. “After I will take. And so was spent”. Together with a pocket also joy became scanty. Saving, Klot refused a trip in the bus. The benefit, was no place to hurry, and there was no wish to come back home. Having included a player, he started wandering through the city, cold, tired of winter, causing in memory of charming performers, remembering their clips. Quality and sense of songs were not taken into account, Alexander liked more that music which proceeded from more sexual, more beautiful little girl.

It fell into dreams again, without noticing that, quickened the pace, compressed cold metal of a lighter more and stronger, gesticulated hands and morally prepared for various situations in the future: “… How not to be exposed by the fool if the beauty with the microphone umostitsya unexpectedly at me on a lap, will embrace for shoulders, will touch by cheek eyelashes? What to do how to answer?” Alexander thought out, learned phrases for getting out of any possible awkwardness, said them aloud until he suddenly neither regained consciousness and nor was ashamed of the naive dreams. Trying to decrease, become invisible, Klot contracted, fear that someone will overhear his words, and, above all, thoughts, did not release. Being afraid to give a secret, it moved ahead as it is possible more slowly. Sometimes stopped, looked in ballot boxes – suddenly will carry as in movies: “Rich durashka exist: took and threw out a thick roll of money. Grew hysterical, and all here …, for someone the trifle will provide my existence”. What, of course, it was hardly trusted in. No, not in a find dense, with a special smell of packing – it is just possible, and here existence of the people having such money, besides loss of which will not be reflected in their lives in any way, will take also minutes of thoughts, will not cause regrets – this seemed a lie. Anyway, he persistently looked in the garbage tanks scattered along sidewalks of the city. Hopes about the secret fan of his creativity, certainly, very well-founded, gratuitously solving all its financial problems got out of the same opera. In turn Alexander promised not to be greedy and help deprived, but gifted. Such promises by all means had to hear unknown forces and add to it chances of execution of own desires. But, neither nutty durashka, nor secret admirers hurried to enter his life and to change something to the best. The destiny gave nothing to the guy at all though selected nothing. To Alexander never has the luck to find at least a small coin, but he never also lost them. Everything, being at its disposal, all he could count on, proceeded from its efforts. Exactly thanks to a neutrality of destiny, Klot also did not believe in her …. Around people loomed. Much of them were devilishly lucky, others choked in chronic misfortunes, and it and remained on a roadside, forgotten, not demanded by the third forces which for some reason persistently ignored it.