Vasily Varga - Chords obscurantism. Volume one

– The same thing. You don’t trust anyone. Do you even believe your mother?

– Anything can happen. When a pension is delayed, I just hate it. How so? Her son, the leader of the world revolution, wears only trousers. My mother and you are a pair of boots. You, ganetsky … add at least two hundred thousand. On the costume. Bitch d, nowhere not’ll spend, buy a suit and all. If you want, I’ll take the receipt from the store for presentation. Ganetsky is a lousy Jew. And you’re driving me, a genius, to beg you. Give me the key to the safe and get out. Hey, Apfelbaum, have you cleaned your house yet? Go get the keys from that lousy Jew. However, you can not give, I will demand that my mother sent a pension. When I really need money, I count it ten times, thinking that my mother hid some of the money, did not exactly divide the pension in half. I am suffering a little nervous. And then the kindness comes, and I start talking to myself: what about her with the old woman, she is old, greedy and we will be the same. You’re a lousy Jew! key on the table! Otherwise I’ll turn around and tell you my name. I’ll go to the hookers and dump the whole bag.

Lenin was excited. Her lips began to tremble and her face to burn. The pockets were empty – the key to the safe was hidden in the back pocket of his trousers.

“Look in the moth, you always hide it there.”

“Oh, Yes, it’s very important,” Leni said, and reached into his pants.

Finally, he waved his hand and started scribbling, and the amount did not interest him at all.

“What’s wrong, Ilyich?” Throw your Talmud in the oven.

– Yes here it does not work, or rather, beyond the fact that nothing comes out. The revolution is on the decline, we are not needed by anyone and will soon become miserable emigrants, that’s what happens. Did you bring the newspaper?

“Something, something, read it. Our blood brother, Gelfand Israel, called Parvus, wrote something. It’s damned interesting. A plan … a wise plan. Parvus, the great Parvus. A real Jew, while you and I are both lousy Jews.

“Um, they count chickens in the fall. That’s what my mother says when I ask her to send her entire pension to the world revolution.

Nevertheless, the words “great Parvus” stung Lenin, either in the left side or in the bald spot, and he shuddered and almost broke the inkstand.

– This Parvus, this goodgulf, he wants to undermine my authority in the party, I noticed it long ago. I won’t allow it. He slammed his fist on the table top and rested his chin on his open palm. – How do I get him out of the way?” Furstenberg, tell me. Hang or shoot? Koba-Stalin could have done it, if Yakub had called him. Why are you looking at me like a RAM at a new gate? call him and that’s it. Why did you come here, I didn’t call you, you bastard? Give him ten thousand and that’s it. If it’s not enough, give me twenty. You have the money… about a million.

“Why clean it?” make friends with him. Where did you put this Apfelbaum? He also wrote works, signing them with your name. And sometimes replaced you with a woman. And this, I will tell you, is the best medicine.

“Take off your pants, I want to try you out, too.”

– I’m not ready for this. I need to relieve myself.

“You forget yourself, Fustenberg. I never did any sodomy, especially after that pretty Inessa arrived. I switched to it.

“Volodya, don’t be angry. You put everyone away somewhere, send them away… you fuck them one at a time, you slobber all over them. Apfelbaum is complaining about you…

“Is it Zinoviev?” I’m tired of him. Sent him away, let him go where he wants, let him get some air. That’s it, ganetsky, go away. I’m tired of you all. I’ll take a NAP, then read this newspaper. What does this Parvus of yours think?

– Don’t touch Parvus, he will do for you what no Jew in the world will do: he will give you power on a silver platter.

“Get out of here, Ganetsky. I’m tired of you, too. I’m tired of all of you, and I’m tired of everything. The leader of the world revolution is angry.

As soon as Ganetsky (Furstenberg) smoothly closed the door behind him, Lenin opened the newspaper and froze in surprise…, there was a plan for the future October revolution of 17. Parvus is wise, damn it. But Lenin in this project was listed only as a secondary person, as a performer. It had hurt him. But what was in this plan came in handy for Lenin. He began to alter this plan in his own way. The Parvus plan says: “The proletariat cannot strike a class blow at its government without committing ‘high treason’, without contributing to the defeat, without helping to break up ' its ‘imperialist’ great ‘power’, " he argued rather confusedly, foaming at the mouth. This was exactly what Parvus later reported to the German General staff. And there they agreed to cooperate with the traitor of their country to Russia, Lenin, Parvus asked for fifty million gold marks. This is Lenin’s cheered. Why hadn’t he guessed? We need to meet this Parvus and strangle him, not the plan…pass it off as your own.

“This Parvus, a scoundrel with bulging eyes, sees further than me, this is unacceptable,” thought Lenin and was indignant, “this Parvus is an idiot with bulging eyes and…and he is a Jew, but I am not. I will destroy it. He took a swipe at my authority with his plan. What is this idiot capable of? He can dismember the corpse of his mother for the sake of a world revolution, just as I can, he can betray the closest friend, pour blood over the country in the name of achieving his goals?”

Parvus appeared to Lenin in 1905, but if Lenin was a minor pawn of this adventure, then Parvus was higher than the Tsar.

Once in penal servitude, Parvus escaped, found himself in Turkey, achieved outstanding success there, but never for a moment forgot about the collapse of Russia.

After filling his pockets with gold bars from various countries, he rushed off to Switzerland to meet Lenin. Lenin at that time was in need of help. I had to live on my mother’s pension, which was clearly not enough for carousing, for prostitutes, for all sorts of other things. Being capricious and quarrelsome, he tired of his sponsors, constantly knocking out money.

And then Parvus fell out of the sky. I’ll have to go to the meeting, where to go.

Parvus sat at a table in a famous cafe, drooling, with watery, bulging eyes, waiting for his imaginary friend.

Lenin appeared, thin, hunched, angry, in a dark shirt and a red vest, blowing his nose all the time and saying softly, without giving Parvus a hand:

– Well, bitch, do you eat fat? Did you bring money?

“I don’t owe you anything, uncircumcised Jew,” Parvus said, his eyes bulging even more.

Lenin stared without blinking; he was much shorter than Parvus, hunched over, one of his eyes squinted and kept squinting, waiting for Parvus to look down. But Parvus snapped the seeds, spat the husks, so that the husks brushed the future leader’s bald head.

“All right, Shalom, my friend,” Ilyich said at last. Sponsors fail. When I become the Emperor of all Europe, I will cut out these sponsors like cabbage.

Parvus reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of money wrapped in a rag.

– There are a million marks here. Just don’t take a swing at Europe, it’s too much. Russia is Enough for you. Start with Russia, and then we’ll see. If you take power, don’t forget that there is a citizen of the world named Pavus. The position of Finance Minister would suit me. I can’t finish the mansion, I still don’t have enough money.

“Wait, wait. Should I start with Russia? from Russia? I don’t care about Russia. Russia is a wild country, where only fools live-Asians, and I am a person of European scale.