Nigina Ivy - Fake Life

“I think I’m gonna pass out….”

“Oh, calm down! No one cares, just relax. Remember, TGIF!!! Relax.”

“That’s one way to support a friend,” Elly grumbled. “Even Alan’s dad is looking at us weird now, look! If only had I known…. Too late now, no matter what you do, we are losers cause we sitting at the same table with them. Fuckballs!”

“Why do you always have to be so fixated on who sits with who? Just listen to me – hear me – NO-BO-DY-CA-RES! Honestly.”

“You’re right. I gotta look happy. Frowning isn’t gonna help,” she smiled. “Is this better?”

“Now try it sincerer, that will do!”

“O.K. let’s talk about something else or I’ll get sad again.” Elly opened the menu content of which we already knew by heart. Pretending as if she was studying the possible options she said to me, keeping her eyes on the menu: “I can feel his gaze on me. Look, I’ve got goosebumps. I’m getting a frisson!”

“Fri… what?”

“Skin orgasm.”

“You’re nuts!”

“I know it’s energy exchange!” She seemed agitated. “Let’s talk about something else so that he doesn’t sense I’m thinking about him now and…”

“…and doesn’t get a frisson in his pants?” I laughed out loud.

“You’re so crazy. I envy your imagination! Anyway. Tell me can you believe her mom’s a doctor?” asked Elly not even trying to conceal the look of disgust as she glanced at the opposite end of the table. “Just look at her. She’s so ratchet. Like a white trash. Can’t anyone else see it?”

“White trash?”

“Of course! Just watch her. No matter how hard she’s trying to hide her essence, I can see right through her. You know, you can take her out of a trailer park, but you can’t take the trailer part out of her! Zero elegance and evil less sophistication. And you know why?”

“Elly, if i have to be honest…”

But my friend didn’t let me finish knowing I was about to change the subject.

“Sophistication…” – she went on and on as if she didn’t hear me – “…is an innate trait. It’s a privilege, transmitted by certain genes, you can’t just work it out in yourself, you can’t cultivate it, no matter how many diamonds your jewelry features, or a fancy university diplomas you have. Sophistication, much like feminine is a thing one’s born with, it can never be attained.”

“I think you got off the wrong foot, having woken up on the wrong side of the bed after a sleepless night.”

“On the contrary, I slept fine. It’s just seeing that trash drives me insane.”

“Please, spare me the drama. Elly, I strongly disagree. Even if she were from a trailer park, don’t you think there are doctors too! Why do you think this way of people?”

“I speak nothing but the truth! Truth of life. I’ve nothing against trailer parks, villagers, and small shit-hole towns. But I can’t stand grifters such as her. She lies through her teeth and makes things up as she goes,” Elly shrugged her shoulders. “Look at her friends! It’s like some kinda shapito circus.”

“Just friends. What’s wrong with them? And they’re born here, the same city you were born in. They even go to the same school you go to.”

“So, what. We may be from the same city, and even go to the same school. Only I was born, and have always been living by the Kremlin. And those are just suburban queens.”

“Elly! How are you even friends with me? I come from another country!”

“Oh, don’t get me started here. Your bloodline speaks for itself. You’re an honest, decent lady with iron integrity. Sometimes, way too good. You know how they say – a tattler is worse than a thief?”

“Here we go. Even I got my fair share,” I laughed. “Elly, you’re such a chauvinist. Did you know?

“I take after Rose,” Elly roller her eyes. “I don’t even care who comes from where. Even if she -” my friend glanced in the direction of Bella – “…was born inside the Kremlin, or on the Red Square, she would still scream trailer park to me. Look at her, she’s nothing.”

“Elly. Will you stop it! I can’t listen to this anymore. This can’t be you!”

“Sorry. It’s just they’re so annoying. I don’t want to share a table with a bunch of whores. They are kind of from wealthy families. And don’t look at me this way, Eva. You know the lady’s first rule: not to sit at the same table with night walkers.”

“I think you’re getting a PMS. She’s not one of those. She’s just a silly girl. Way to trusting.”

“Can you even hear yourself? Trusting? You are too trusting, Eva! Where do you think she got all those diamonds from?”

“She said she…”

“Yes. Yes. Yes. Her daddy died and left her a fortune. Australian golden mines and blah blah blah… You can’t be that stupid to believe in all this?”

“You can’t accuse someone of lying just because you don’t like them!”

“I can’t stand her and I can’t help it.”

“I can see that. Calm down, chew some mints.”

“As if it will help. Besides, I know I have a great intuition.”

“One would argue. Your intuition was quite silent when you agreed to this dinner with…”

“Shut up! Don’t even say that name. Are you even my friend? Please, forget all about this.”

“My silence comes at a price.”

“No doubt about that,” Elly smirked. “You see that friend of hers, the one who looks like a depressed mouse? Who is she? And the fat one? I wouldn’t be surprised if she looked hard for them to bring them with – to look like a superstar next to them.”

“Elly! You’re so vicious! Knock it off!”

“Whatcha girls talking about? Me?” Vlad suddenly appeared behind us. He had finally made it to the restaurant. He was the only decent guy from our hangout who we both liked as a friend.

“Here you are, finally,” Elly snidely hissed.

“Bet you hoped I wouldn’t make it?” he grinned.

He bent and gave kissed each of us on the cheek. Instead of saying hi to Bella and her friends, he resorted to a polite nod. He sat down next to me, thus making me one in the middle. “In between the rock and a hard place, as always,” I thought to myself.

“Vlad, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong, Google? he asked Elly laughing.

“You don’t love us, Vlad.”

“I love Eva, but you… you are a real bitch.”

“Asshole!”

“Because of you, my best friend has been suffering for two weeks. Doesn’t leave his house. You didn’t have to turn him down that harshly. You know he’s so into you. I warned him it’s not gonna end up good. He sounds like he’s been flushed down the toilet and here, look at you laughing and shining social butterfly. You haven’t even thought of him once… poor guy.”

“Vlad, let’s not start, ok? I don’t need a man who can’t keep his promises.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, first he was begging me to go to Paris with him for the weekend. I said right away, we’re not sharing a room in the Ritz. He said he wasn’t even thinking to suggest that and that each of us will have our own room, that he already payed for two rooms. Besides, my visa expired, and so he said he’d take care of it, too. He said that will send his driver to take my passport… and that was it.”

“Well, he failed his exam because got high night before and his dad pulled his plug… cut his ‘allowance’…”

“My point exactly. I don’t need a sucker who can’t go to the bathroom without his daddy’s permission.”

“A trip to Paris isn’t exactly going to the bathroom…”

“I didn’t say it was. You did…”

“I know you. You don’t think twice to say something nasty about anything.”