Sophie Love - Forever and a Day

She stood and hurried to the opposite couch, throwing her arms around her neck. She sobbed against his shoulder, deep sobs racking through her body. Roy clung to her, shaking too from the outpouring of grief.

“I’m so sorry,” he choked, his voice muffled by her hair. “I’m so, so sorry.”

They stayed like that for a long time, holding each other, shedding every tear they needed to, squeezing out every last drop of pain. Finally the crying ceased. Everything became silent.

“Do you have any more questions?” Roy finally said quietly. “I’m not going to keep secrets from you anymore. I’m not going to hide anything.”

Emily felt exhausted, spent with emotion. Her father’s chest rose and fell with each deep breath he took. She was so tired she felt as if she could fall asleep right here in his arms. But at the same time, she still had a million questions burning in her mind, but one more than others.

“The night when Charlotte died…” she began. “Mom filled me in with some stuff but she only gave me one side of the story. What happened?”

Roy’s arms tightened around her. Emily knew it was hard for him to remember that night but she desperately wanted to know the truth, or at least his version of it. Maybe she’d be able to plaster together the three parts – Patricia’s, Roy’s, her own – and create something that made sense.

“I’d taken you for Thanksgiving and Christmas,” Roy began. “Things weren’t going well with your mom so she stayed home. But then you both came down with the flu.”

“I think I remember,” Emily said. She’d flashed back to some childhood memories of fevers. “Toni’s dog, Persephone, was there. I collapsed in the hall.”

Roy nodded, but he looked embarrassed. Emily knew why; this had been a turning point in his affair with Toni, the point when he’d been brazen enough to have his mistress’s and his children’s lives intersect.

“Do you remember your mom turning up unannounced?” Roy said.

Emily shook her head.

“She’d wanted to be there to look after you both since you were so sick.”

“That doesn’t sound like Mom,” Emily said.

Roy laughed. “No, it doesn’t. Maybe it was an excuse. She suspected the affair and it was her way of turning up unannounced and catching me in the act.”

Emily let out a subdued nod. That was more her mother’s style.

“You must have blocked out the argument because I’m sure we were shouting loud enough for them to hear at the harbor.” He shrugged. “I don’t know if it was that that woke Charlotte up. She was on medicine that made her groggy. You both were. But she woke up and I suppose she got confused looking for us, or was just generally feeling unwell and on medication. She ended up in the outhouse with the pool. I suppose you know the rest.”

Emily did. But what she didn’t realize was how little of a role she’d had to play in it all. It wasn’t her fault for not waking when Charlotte did and stopping her sister wandering away. Nor was it her fault for speaking so enthusiastically about the new pool and planting the excitement in her sister’s mind to go and see it. She’d been ill, confused, possibly even terrified by their parents’ fight. None of it had been her fault. Not a single bit.

Emily felt a sudden sense of release. Weight she hadn’t even realized she’d been carrying lifted from her shoulders. She’d been clinging onto her guilt over Charlotte’s death, even after her mom had clarified that it hadn’t been her fault. Now she felt as if her father had given her permission to let go of that guilt.

She snuggled in to him, feeling a new sense of peace settle over her.

Just then, the quietness was broken by the sound of soft knocking on the door. Daniel peered around.

“Daniel, come in,” Emily said, beckoning him. She wanted him here now that she and her dad had gotten everything out in the open. She needed his support.

He came and perched on the edge of the couch opposite them. Emily wiped the tears from her lashes, but remained clinging to her father, curled up like a child beside him on the couch.

“Does anyone need anything?” Daniel asked softly. “A tissue? A stiff drink?”

It was just what the moment needed to cut through all the heaviness. Emily hiccupped out a laugh. She felt Roy’s rumbling laugh in his belly.

“I could do with a drink,” she said.

“So could I,” Roy replied. “Is the bar stocked?”

Daniel took the lead. “It is. Come on. It’s so fantastic in there. I’ll make us drinks.”

Emily hesitated. “Dad, is that a good idea?” she said.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Roy replied, looking confused.

Emily lowered her voice. “Because of your drinking problem.”

Roy looked astounded. “What drinking problem?” Then his face paled. “Did Patricia tell you I was an alcoholic?”

“You were an alcoholic,” Emily replied. “I remember you drinking. All the time.”

“I drank heavily,” Roy admitted. “We both did, your mom and I. It’s one of the reasons our relationship was so volatile. But I wasn’t an alcoholic.”

“What about the eggnogs for breakfast on Christmas?” she asked, remembering how testy her father had been when she’d kicked his drink over.

“That was just Christmas!” Roy exclaimed.

Another piece of Emily’s past realigned itself. She’d fallen for Patricia’s bitter, skewed version of events, had allowed them to replace her own memories of her father. She felt a surge of fury at her mother for making Roy into the villain of their most traumatic experience.

They went into the speakeasy and took seats at the bar. Daniel got to work on the cocktails.

“We have a bartender in the evenings to do this,” he explained to Roy. “Alec. He’s fantastic. Better than me anyhow.”

He poured them each a margarita. Roy took a sip.

“That tastes fantastic,” he said. Then, a little coyly, he added, “I must say what a fine young gentleman you’ve turned out to be.”

Emily felt her heart soar. She smiled, elated finally, feeling like everything was how it ought to be.

“I have you to thank for that,” Daniel replied, shyly, not quite looking Roy in the eye. “For introducing me to things I cared about. Fishing. Sailing.”

“You still sailing?” Roy asked.

“I have a boat at the harbor. Restored thanks to Emily. We take it out as a family. Chantelle loves it too. She’s great at fishing.”

“I still sail a lot as well,” Roy said. “When I’m not working on a clock I spend my time out on the boat. Or in the garden.”

“Do you remember that day you taught me how to grow vegetables?” Daniel asked.

“Of course,” Roy replied. He smiled, reminiscing. “I’d never seen such a scruffy punk of a kid work so hard with a trowel.”

Daniel laughed. “I was eager to learn,” he said. “To take the opportunity. Even if on the outside it looked like I hated the world.”

Emily found it strange to see them joking and laughing. There was so much less hurt between them. It was more like a camaraderie. Daniel had been forever thankful for the man who’d given him a chance when he needed it, even if that same man had disappeared on him as well. Maybe it was just a surprise to Emily to realize how close they had been once, knowing, also, that the summer they’d spent together had been a summer she and her father had spent apart.

Her phone buzzed then and she saw a text from Amy about their scheduled arrival that afternoon. She and Jayne had some urgent business stuff to attend to and were making a stop so would be arriving later than planned. Emily realized, guiltily, that she’d completely forgotten they were on their way. She’d been so caught up with her father everything else had gone out of her mind.