Emmanuel Bodin - Under The Summer Sun

Frank was overthinking it. Unconsciously, he had already set his sights on this young woman. He had been celibate for several months, without being able to forget his ex. However, this new blond with sparkling blue eyes had managed to change things in a blink of an eye, with a smile. Is this the desire to move on? The beginnings of an unexpected crush? Throughout the journey, he kept thinking back to that pretty little face that just came out of nowhere, like a stroke of luck, a gift from life, or a poker game where the first set of cards was fantastic. And yet… what could possibly determine his destiny? The future offers a multitude of surprises, without any kind of warning. Desires bubbled inside him. An innocent call could eventually end up changing aspects of his daily life. A major upheaval that would bring oxygen back into his life and erase the memory of the one he had loved before. Can it be that simple to change, to forget about the one who he carried in his heart and still thought about regularly? Probably… but there will always remain some desire, which would prove to be everlasting.

When he got to his friend Stephanie’s house, Frank could not nor did he want to keep that chance encounter to himself. Those few minutes invaded his mind again. Lurking around was the danger of getting his hopes up after such a brief conversation that could very possibly go no further than that. This young woman had dazzled him since the moment he first laid eyes on her. Stephanie was aware of her friend’s past disappointments. She seemed happy for him and hoped that it was the beginning of a beautiful romance, if he were to see her again. She warned him though, not to make it such a big deal just yet in case nothing came of it.

Frank had met Stephanie in an online chatroom a few years ago. Although at first there was an attraction between the two, they had preferred to maintain distance between each other. A friendship would develop.

Short and brunette, Stephanie’s physique was the opposite of Svetlana’s. She possessed an undeniable charm that easily captivated a man, especially if he turned out to be single, as Frank was when they met. On one hand, this woman’s intelligence had attracted Frank. On the other hand, she smoked a lot. The smell of cold dry tobacco proved to be an obstacle between them over time. Over the first few weeks, the lust had turned into a form of camaraderie. They enjoyed spending time together, talking about their similar tastes when it came to movies, art and literature. He has had many opportunities to have sex with her since they oftentimes spent evenings together, such as tonight, but Frank had been very cautious not to. Even though Stephanie never outright said anything, her tender demeanour towards him and the seductive way she dressed were all just an invitation to sex.

For a friendship to develop between a man and a woman, one must never, ever, sleep with the other person. Sometimes, and even often, there is an unspoken infatuation, a craving to be with the other, while knowing fully well that neither of them wanted a meaningful sentimental future with the other. If they dared cross that imaginary barrier, best case scenario says they become friends with benefits. At best, that would last a few months until one of them falls for someone else who better fits as a partner for a romantic relationship. However, worst case scenario says that it remains one drunken night adventure. Both options offered a similar fate: a failed effort at building a friendship. After the deed would have been done, there would be no hope of achieving this form of sympathy they share. They would both come out as losers. Often, the decision of whether or not to be together is made in the first few days or within two weeks after meeting each other. It is a weird period because the atmosphere becomes thick with expectations, illusions, desires and concerns. Sometimes you tell yourself, “It’s her… She’s the one!” But then you realise it is just a fantasy and that special something disappears forever. If they had nothing from the start, then a friendly bond, so beautiful and special, could have grown between them.

In rare occasions, the opposite happens. After period of great friendship, only after a certain time and in the same moment, the two friends yearn for something so. They like each other so much that they end up getting even closer… One simple mistake could possibly ruin years of good friendship, all for one quickie.

Strangely enough, when a woman breaks up with a man, she sometimes says she still wants to be friends with him. How does a guy have an ordinary friendship with a girl that he sincerely loved and still wants? Male-female friendship seems unlikely if they have previously shared pure feelings. That’s a horrible idea to even think that! It’s a downgrade from his previous role. As a friend who was once so close, he is now asked to keep a certain distance and observe without having much of an opinion. Worse yet, there is a possibility that he can happen to meet the new suitor, and that he can gauge the seduction game of this new companion who already imagines being able to have sex day and night with the one he loved. How unbearable! Just thinking about it makes his stomach turn. Friendship seems quite simply inconceivable and improbable after having been through a loving relationship in all sincerity. Maybe years later… even so, one would need to be able to truly forgive the other for whatever led to the breakup.

Stephanie was showing Frank her latest canvas paintings. She had a very surrealist style that was difficult to describe, as human figures, often distorted, amalgamated to a more chaotic atmosphere. A very personal touch emerged. Nonetheless, she was never able to exhibit her works, to this day. Frank had no doubt that the hour of glory for his friend would come. She had obvious talent. Fortunately, she did not depend on her art to make a living. She worked in an office for a firm that sold refrigerator handles. She managed the commercial relationship with client companies directly on the phone. She got bored a lot. However, she took advantage of the opportunity to flirt with potential buyers who would then become her lover for the night. This job seemed to be her way of dealing with the annually increasing cost of living imposed by the operation and deterioration of today’s society, which perpetuate successive leaders for fear of losing their advantages, because they are concerned only about their themselves, while the people—the citizens—find themselves crushed and scorned under the yoke of new indigestible laws.

After a good meal of pasta and watching the movie In the loop that makes a complete mockery of our shameful governments, Frank had returned home. On the train, he thought about Svetlana again. He hesitated to call her but he was curious as to whether she had given him her real number. He started to compose a text message since it is easier to write than to make a call without knowing in advance what they could talk about together. At the last moment he changed his mind. He was afraid that a message asking about her was too hasty and that after reading it the young woman would only want to distance herself from this man who was still a stranger and who oddly wondered about how her day went.

The next morning, at seven, the vibration of Frank’s phone woke him up. He hated when his rest was cut short like that. The solution would have simply been to turn off the phone but it also served as his alarm clock. Normally, he woke up at around nine o’clock. He did not have anything in particular to do. He usually used the time to watch movies, read books, and drink beers with his friends while sharing updates on their respective lives. Sometimes he stayed at home and did research online while thinking about possible photo essays he could create. Occasionally, he looked at the job offers. This search made him quickly sink into a state close to depression. The same ads came back tirelessly. And yet, when he wrote to the companies, they didn’t find it necessary to contact him back. Apart from taking pictures of Santa Claus in the winter and being the photographer at a school or weddings, there was nothing in his field. Frank had already done these types of jobs and found them to be boring and unstimulating… They did not require a single artistic fibre in his body. Nothing really completely suited him. At least not over long periods of time.