Cecelia Ahern - Lyrebird

Rory sits up, holding his head, in agony. ‘Who punches a forehead?’

Cara starts laughing at them all. She holds her camera up and takes photos.

Later that night, the brothers and Cara sit outside in the garden on the round garden furniture table, drinking bottles of beer. Marie is ignoring them all, giving them the silent treatment for their behaviour and their dad is supporting her by doing the same, though they all know he’s dying to join them.

Cormac’s hand is in a sling. Two fingers are broken and the mix of painkillers and alcohol has made him the entertainment of the night.

Rory sits away from Solomon, a lump the size of a quail’s egg protruding from his forehead. The storm clouds have delivered rain but nothing has dried, the landscape is utterly drenched and so they perch on the dry spots for now. One thing is preying on Solomon’s mind: did Rory sleep with Laura? He’s almost sure that Rory made it up to get at him, which he succeeded in doing, but he can’t get it out of his head. Thankfully, Cara comes to his aid.

‘You know Rory, if you did sleep with Laura, you might have to answer some questions from the guards.’

‘What?’ Rory yelps. ‘What are you on about?’

‘There’s such a thing as consent, probably not a word you’re familiar with…’

Cara explains. ‘It requires the woman saying yes. It’s a real thing. Other men actually have sex with women who aren’t locked out of their heads. Women who can see the faces of their lovers. Now I know it’s not usually how you operate, but-’

‘Shut the fuck up, Cara.’

She winks at Solomon. ‘Seriously, we all saw the photographs. The whole world saw them. She couldn’t put one foot in front of the other. If you took her to that party and did what you said you did, then you could be in serious trouble.’

Rory looks at them all, ignoring Solomon. ‘Oh, whatever. Of course I didn’t sleep with her – she could barely remember her own name. She spent the entire night vomiting.’

The relief in Solomon is overwhelming, but his heart breaks for Laura, for what she went through alone.

‘Rory was right about one thing though,’ Cormac slurs.

‘Here we go,’ Donal smirks.

‘Ah now, hear me out.’

They settle.

‘It’s clear to see that you are enamoured with this young woman, Solomon.’ It takes him a few attempts to say enamoured , but he’s intent on using it. ‘And while Rory was wrong to do what he did, you wouldn’t feel this angry if it wasn’t for your feelings for her.’

‘Cormac Fallon, Spiddal’s Dr Phil,’ Solomon laughs it off.

‘He has a point,’ Donal says.

‘Pity she likes the wrong brother,’ Rory pipes up, and receives a knock on the head from Cormac.

‘Get off me, my head is pounding.’

‘Then shut up,’ Cormac says.

They chuckle, including Rory. This behaviour is so unlike their eldest brother.

‘Bo,’ Cormac continues, scrunching up his face. ‘I’m not convinced on you and Bo.’

‘I’m not convinced on you and Madeleine,’ Solomon says quickly, taking offence, then a slug of beer.

The others oooh and watch with interest.

‘You’re right,’ Cormac says solemnly, which receives a chuckle of surprise. ‘Sometimes I’m not convinced on me and Madeleine either.’

Rory picks up his phone and starts filming.

‘Stop being a dick,’ Cara says, slapping the back of his head. He drops the phone.

Cormac continues. ‘Madeleine is… sometimes I don’t even like Madeleine.’

They all laugh while Cormac attempts to stop them so he can finish.

‘But… but… listen. She is often the most annoying person in the world. And I want to strangle her. Or leave her. But even in the worst of times – and we’ve had a lot, especially lately… this fucking menopause thing. If I could leave her until it’s over, I would. I really would.’

They piss themselves laughing, but Cara shakes her head. ‘Unbelievable.’

‘But I couldn’t. Because even when I don’t like Madeleine, I fucking love Madeleine.’

Which is possibly the most twisted but romantic thing any of them has ever said about any of their partners.

‘Anyway, where was I?’ He tries to focus on Solomon, one eye closed to help. ‘You and Bo. I don’t think you’re right together. You’re not a good match.’

‘With all due respect, Cormac – and I appreciate that you care for me,’ Solomon says softly, ‘Bo and I aren’t for anybody else to think if we’re right.’

‘Of course!’ Cormac throws his hands up and splashes his bottle contents. He reaches out and pokes his beer-drenched finger in Solomon’s chest. ‘But do you think you’re right together? Solomon, this is life brother, there’s no harm, or shame in admitting something’s not working. Get out now while you can,’ he waves his hand dismissively. ‘I don’t know what you’re hanging on for.’

The next day, struggling with a mighty hangover, Solomon drives to Dublin thinking about everything Cormac and his siblings had said to him.

It had all made so much sense last night, he would break up with Bo. Cara had coached him on the right words, they’d spoken until the sun rose, but in the cold sober light of day, it terrifies him.

He turns on the radio to distract himself.

‘And in entertainment news it is unclear whether Lyrebird will take to the stage in StarrQuest ’s live final. The contestant, whose real name is Laura Button, received two hundred and fifty million views on social media following her first audition, but last weekend she hit the headlines after a night out clubbing, leading to a media backlash. Jack Starr had this to say at a press conference with the finalists today.’

‘We’re very much hoping that Lyrebird will take part. It is of course up to her, and all of us at StarrQuest will give her the encouragement and support she needs.’

‘And Lyrebird’s fellow contestant Alan, from the popular act Alan and Mabel, had this to say…’

‘Laura is doing great. She’s fine. She’s just emotionally, physically and mentally drained. It has been the most extraordinary roller coaster, for all of us, so I can’t imagine how it’s been for her. I think all she needed was a bit of R&R, being somewhere private, so she could get over what’s happened to her, because what’s happened to her has been unprecedented.’

‘On Lyrebird’s sensational night out that grabbed every front page across the world, Alan had this to say…’

‘Laura got off a flight from Australia where she’d been for only two days, working an intense schedule, she then had to go straight into rehearsals for the semi-final, which she won, and she had a few drinks for the first time in her life. She was entitled to celebrate her success. She did nothing wrong in that nightclub, it was a misunderstanding, she needed support and help, and instead people took advantage. She learned some harsh lessons, but she has learned.’

‘Will Lyrebird perform at the final?’

‘I hope she does,’ Alan says.

‘Really? But she’s your greatest competition. You two are the favourites.’

‘She’s the most genuinely lovely and naturally talented person I’ve ever met. I hope she goes up on that stage and proves to people why she got their attention in the first place, and I hope she wins.’

‘Which just makes us all love the amazing Alan and Mabel even more. So has the Lyrebird lost her lore? Tune in to the StarrQuest final to see!’

Solomon drives the car across three lanes to pull into the hard shoulder to angry drivers’ beeps. He puts on his hazards, lowers the window and breathes deeply. He has never wanted or needed somebody so much in his life.