Каран Андерс - The Book of Firsts

Closing my eyes, I found myself supremely aware of all the little things that usually went on in the background. The breeze making leaves clatter, and playing across my sun-warmed skin. Distant shouts from the sports fields, and a hum that must be the chatter from the refectory. A deeper, lower rush from the nearest road. The faintest, tiniest sound made by Kyou’s steps as he walked behind me.

I knew that he’d stand there, not moving, until both of us could hardly bear it, and when he finally knelt and bent over me, the movement was so careful that I didn’t hear it at all, only felt the weight on the blanket. It took everything I had to not tense up, to not show how excited I was, how badly I wanted him to abandon all these silly rules and just do something.

I felt his breath, then his tongue, the faintest graze in the small of my back. I grit my teeth to prevent an audible response, but he had won this round, the tiniest sigh escaping me as his mouth fastened on my skin.

The next hickey he placed between my shoulder blades, and all the while his swollen head rubbed against the back of my legs. I had to give it to him—Kyou had a ton of control.

He tested himself even further by sliding slowly up, an inch-by-inch progress that had to be maddening for both of us, to whisper into my ear: "Turn over."

I turned. Not in a rush, but impatience was winning with me—for all this was not going to go anywhere satisfactory—and so I did not draw it out, simply shifting in the small amount of room I had between the cage made by his arms and legs. At least I managed to keep my face calm as he looked down at me, letting his weight come down on me before he fastened his mouth to the side of my throat.

Not a cautious choice, not what I’d expected from Kyou, who balanced risk and excitement so carefully, and had to realise that a love bite in a visible spot would start people wondering who had given it to me. But my confusion vanished as I remembered the afternoon get-together he’d passed up. Whatever was going on between Kyou and Carr, it had spurred him to mark me. A little game of possession.

He was more than thorough, but finally raised his head.

"I’m not sure it’s possible for a person to look any smugger."

"Let me give that a try," he replied, and did indeed seem even more pleased with himself as he bent his head to finish the challenge, kissing me thoroughly.

In response I slid one hand between his stomach and mine, taking hold of him. He jerked once, but then kissed me harder, and I amused myself by gripping him even more firmly, then rubbing my thumb slowly on his head. He couldn’t keep still with that, pushing forward.

I was so ready for him, really aching, and it would have been so simple to get him inside me. But instead, I reached down between my legs with my free hand and then brought my fingers up slick and sticky, and wrapped both my hands about him. I doubted his expression was at all smug then. He shuddered, and began to pump.

I did my best to keep my hands in place, and thought Kyou lucky that I don’t have long fingernails. He didn’t hold back, going fast and hard, making my stomach and hands hot from the friction. Even though he wasn’t where I wanted him, I still gasped a little when he came.

For a moment he let his whole weight rest on me, then lifted his head and looked down at me. A most unreadable expression, not smug at all. Then he brushed my forehead with his lips before shifting so he was beside me. For a minute we just lay there, watching a red and gold butterfly chart its erratic course across the brilliant blue above.

Kyou sat up, grimacing down at his lower chest, then looked down at my stomach. His expression changed subtly, and he slid two fingers through white, then leaned forward and pushed them inside me.

I’d anticipated him, just, and so simply said: "Additional firsts?"

But I was excited, hopeful, and not inclined to hide it completely as he moved a little further along the blanket and pushed those two fingers deeper. His left hand touched my thigh, then settled so the fingers rested on the crease of my leg. The thumb slid gently down, demonstrating he had a working knowledge of female anatomy, and I closed my eyes as he made a circular motion in a very good spot indeed.

When I opened them again, I didn’t look back at Kyou, but gazed up into the blue-drenched sky, and listened to the wind, and the distant hum of a school full of people who had no notion of the leisurely progress Kyou made with small, unrelenting touches, and steady pressure. He had slender hands, and managed to get a large portion of one inside me, while never ceasing the movement of the thumb of his other hand. I felt as if I was floating, and at the same time completely focused, until at last the sky disappeared in a grey static haze, and my body tightened so intensely it hurt.

Kyou freed his hands, and I unclenched mine. I’d been holding the edge of the blanket so tightly the stitches were imprinted into my skin. My other hand was full of blades of grass torn loose. My heart pounding, I took a gulping breath and then lifted my arms to close around Kyou’s neck as he lowered himself back on me, and we kissed at length, my legs wrapping around him. I already wanted him again, and tangled my fingers in his hair as his kisses began to rove to my throat, and then he settled into sucking my breasts, very hard, occasionally moving to add several more love bites around the one Rin had marked.

His phone rang.

Kyou growled, but got up immediately, explaining: "Rin wouldn’t call now unless it was an emergency."

Sitting up, I watched him cross to fish his phone from his blazer pocket, and then followed his gaze as he turned abruptly and stared above the trees. The vast blue I had fallen into was smudged with grey.

"Be right there," Kyou said, put his phone on the table and strode briskly to the rear of the summer house.

Hearing the tap running, I stood and fetched a couple of towels and brought them around, then paused to enjoy Kyou rinsing lather from his front. Handing one of the towels over, I said: "What’s on fire?"

"The boat house."

He was already on the move, drying himself as he headed back inside. I didn’t hurry, soaping myself thoughtfully, not interested so much in a fire as thinking back on what we’d just done, and being pleased. And I was further pleased when, knotting his tie, Kyou ducked around the corner again and leaned close to whisper in my ear: "Next week. Without fail."

I took my time dressing, and cleaned up the hidden garden, wondering what impact a burning boat house would have on who won the Thursday competitions.

Bran had left his run too late. He could not possibly catch up on what I knew they considered one of the most important firsts. But either way, next week I would have one of them. Kyou or Rin.

After school, I headed to the student carpark and spotted Lania waving at me from the front passenger seat of Carr’s blue station wagon. He’d explained during the museum trip that he’d chosen it to fit canvasses and art supplies. I climbed in, wondering if it would be worth it to talk my parents into purchasing a car, since the buses seemed to be increasingly crowded, and once or twice I’d had to wait for the next one. But getting a licence involved a set number of co-driving hours, and that just wasn’t practical on a number of levels.

"Hey Mika," Carr said, pausing a moment for me to buckle up before he pulled out.

"Yay, Mika!" Lania was hyped. "We’re winning you away from your books."

"At least for the afternoon," I said.

"What happened to your neck?" Lania asked, peering at me sympathetically.

It took some effort not to lift one hand to hide evidence, but I’d been clever about incriminating hickeys and said "Scratched it on a twig," with the faintest of shrugs and total truth, since I had taken a twig and scored a red mark right through the centre of Kyou’s little declaration, and then stuck a round sticking plaster over the top, so that the ends of the scratch were visible on either side.