Т Нован - Exposure Season 3

Jean stops her. "Actually, it’s not really a cane. It’s Papa’s big umbrella. The best we could do in a pinch."

Katherine runs her fingers through Harper’s hair. "The best we could do because we don’t think you’ll ever need them."

My God, I love this family. Listen to them, Tabloid. Believe.

"So, how do we start this little game?" Harper asks, folding her good arm over her cast.

"We don’t need a blindfold," Elaine notes.

"But, if we did, Harper and Kelsey would no doubt have one handy," Mama offers.

I bury my face in my hands as the entire room erupts in laughter. I’m never going to live down her trip to New York.

"One of these days remind me to tell all of you what they consider art in New York," Mama continues, sipping from a tall glass of iced tea.

"Mama!" Harper groans, blushing bright red. "I’ll have you know that thanks to that damn exhibit I can no longer enjoy a hot dog."

All of the brothers are rolling with laughter. I know they don’t have a clue, but Harper’s indignation and the way Mama is laughing is too much and it’s contagious.

"Here are the rules, Harper. They’re simple. We hand you an object, you identify it. You get five right, and you can be blind. Less than that and it’s a no-go."

"Bring it on," is my spouse’s cocky reply. The first item they hand her is pretty simple. I figure it’s their way of breaking her in. Katherine places it in her hands and she makes a face. "It’s a shoe."

"Which one — left or right?"

She feels it, noting the subtle curve of it. "Left." Harper takes a sniff and makes a very dramatic face. "And it’s Robie’s."

Another round of laughter as Robie’s shoe is returned to him. "You think you’re so smart," he comments, sliding the loafer back on. Rene bends down and kisses Robie’s head in consolation.

"I know I am. Better than you would do."

Robie snorts. "Mais non! I think not."

I shake my head. Did he learn nothing in all the years of living with my girl? It’s about to get ugly.

Harper turns her head in Katherine’s direction. "Shouldn’t I be playing against someone, Kat? To make it fair?" A round of whistles, stomps and hollers meets her suggestion. I take that it is approved. "Kels, darlin’, can you run up to our room and get that blindfold you like to use on me? Seems we won’t be needing it any longer."

I will kill her when this is through. Avoiding Mama’s eyes, I quickly excuse myself and make a dash upstairs. Note to self: never travel with these things.

A few moments later, Robie is seated across from Harper, wearing our blindfold. The Kitchen Conspiracy is in a quick huddle, adapting to this change. Rene and I are left out as our spouses are competing.

The next item handed over is an interesting choice. "Feel it first, Harper, but don’t say anything. You don’t want to help Robie out, do you?" She shakes her head vigorously and feels it.

Katherine passes the item over to Robie. "This is easy," he declares.

"Then tell me," Katherine says, leaning down to hear his whispered answer. Once she has his, she looks to Harper. "What was it?"

"The family Bible. Thing weighs a ton and has thin pages."

Robie scoffs, "It’s a telephone book."

"Fool, telephone books don’t come with leather covers," Harper chastises him.

"Two for Harper Lee," Papa says. "Zero for Robie."

"Hey! I would have gotten the shoe one!"

Papa considers his protest for a moment. "One for Robie."

"Next item," Rachel announces drawing close with it. I shake my head. These people have no shame. She places it in Robie’s hands. He feels it and keeps tapping at the end. I fight the urge to lose it. Rene is shaking in the chair beside me, a hand firmly clamped over her mouth. "Time’s up," Rachel says, removing the object and handing it to Harper.

Harper feels it and grins slyly. With one push, she extracts the contents and swings it around her finger. "I’m guessing I know what it is," she says smugly.

"Sure do," Rachel confirms. "Robie?"

He shifts in his chair, his cockiness diminishing. "I think it’s a mechanical pencil. You know, like they use at drafting tables."

Everyone howls with laughter. Harper shouts over the noise, "Mon Dieu! Haven’t you ever seen a tampon before, older brother?" With amazing aim, or just sheer good luck, she launches the wad of cotton at her brother. It hits him square on the chest. Robie jumps as if struck by lightning. He grabs it and throws it away. It lands on Lucien. Lucien tosses it to the ground and steps on it, as if it might somehow bite him.

I am gasping for breath.

"Guess you never give Ren a chance to use those, eh?" Harper queries.

For that, Rene gets out of her chair and goes over to slap Harper’s arm. "You watch it, Harper Lee."

"Three for Harper, one for Robie," Papa confirms.

Elaine brings over the next item. I shake my head. I wonder how Tabloid will do with this one.

"I wanna make a side bet on this one!" Jean calls out. "Twenty says she can’t identify it."

"You’re on," Gerrard replies. Money begins exchanging hands.

Harper gets the item first. She takes it in her hands and feels it, rubbing it between her fingers. Next, she brings it to her nose and sniffs, carefully. She hands it back.

Robie takes it and immediately blushes. He certainly has identified it. Elaine bends down for his whispered reply. Turning to Harper, she says, "What is it?"

"A balloon?"

Oh my poor baby. She’s never seen one before, I guess. At least, not up close and personal. More raucous laughter. Gerrard hands a twenty over to Jean.

"No, this would be a condom," Robie states. He turns his head to where Mama was last sitting. "I only saw these advertised once, Mama, I swear it."

Gerrard laughs. "Well, that’s obvious, Robie. Otherwise, a lot of damn good it did you."

"Hey! Enough! Asse!’" Rene reprimands, shooting Gerrard an evil look.

"Three for Harper, two for Robie." Papa makes a mark on a piece of paper, as if any of us would ever doubt him.

Next thing I know, Mama is over by Rene and I and pulling us to our feet. She motions for us to lift our shirts up to expose our bellies. Okay, this is not anything I ever imagined doing in front of our entire family. Mama then leads us over to our spouses. "Which one belongs to you?" she asks.

She puts his hand on my stomach and allows him to do a quick survey. Then she puts me in front of Harper. Harper immediately zeros in on the babies’ activities, as Brennan chooses this moment to give a healthy kick. She knows who we are. She lifts her eyes to me and, as her fingertips continue to graze where Brennan seems to be playing tag with Harper, for just a moment, I know we can still see each other no matter what happens. Those blue eyes cause me to fall in love with her all over again.

Next Mama puts Rene in front of Robie. He feels for a moment, before she is placed in front of Harper. We are then allowed to go back to our seats.

Mama bends down to hear Harper’s answer and smiles. Robie is looking a bit stressed. Ooh, he better get this right. Rene would not like being mistaken for a woman carrying twins.

"I think the first one," Robie ventures, "was Rene."

Poor Rene.

"Hell, no, that was Kelsey," Harper corrects, amid the laughter. "My little girl even gave me a hello."

"Honey?" Robie calls out in a truly pitiful voice. He knows he is in deep trouble.

"Don’t talk to me."

I lean over and hug Rene. "There’s a room free next door to us." Of course, I am very proud of Harper.

"Four for Harper, two for Robie."

Rachel approaches them once more. "Last chance to be blind, Harper. As you know, correct identification of people is essential. You will both get to feel the face of two people in this room. You will then have to correctly identify them. You can only feel their face, not their hair or anything else. Understand?" The two contestants both assent.