T Novan - Exposure Season 4

My heart clenches at the mention of his mortality and I don’t want to think about it. "Dad," I protest. Intellectually, I can’t argue with him, but for the first time in my life, I want my father around for as long as I can keep him.

"Sorry to get all maudlin on your, sweetheart." He kisses my forehead. "Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if your mother and I … well, if we hadn’t made a mess of it all."

I don’t think I can even imagine a normal childhood. What would it have been like to know my parents? to be around them for extended periods of time? to not be sent off to the next school that caught their fancy or impressed the right people? "We can’t change the past. But you have a good life now, Dad, with Amanda and Claire."

"And with you, too. Right?"

I smile and hug him. "And me and Harper and Brennan and Collin."

He lets out a long breath, and I realize how much it meant to him to hear those words. "I like being a grandfather better than I thought I would. I expected it to make me feel old, but instead I feel young."

"Really? How so?"

"Everything’s new. Brennan and Collin don’t know what a terrible father I was to you. I’m just the guy who spoils them rotten. Plus, Claire has made me start looking at things from a new perspective. Everything’s fresh."

"Good."

"Shame though about your mother."

I falter and nearly step on my Dad’s foot. "What do you mean?"

He flushes and looks away, uncomfortable. "Don’t you know about her plea bargain?"

I decide to stop dancing altogether. "What’s going on?"

"The Manhattan DA’s office accepted her plea bargain to a third degree felony. She’s been sentenced to four years at a minimum security prison. It happened last Friday."

Great. My mother gets to work on her backhand for two years until she gets paroled. Somehow it isn’t surprising, but it is disappointing.

Warm hands settle on my shoulders and I recognize the feel of Harper’s body against mine. "You okay, chér?" she burrs. Her voice is calm, but I can hear the protectiveness right below the surface.

I lean back against her, grateful for her presence. "I am. Dad just gave me some bad news."

"At a party?"

Dad hears the reproach. Harper wasn’t very subtle, I’ll admit. I love that across a crowded dance floor she could tell something was wrong and immediately came to my side.

"I’m sorry, Kels. Harper’s right, I shouldn’t have said anything right now. This is a celebration." He holds his arms out from his side. "Forgive your old man?"

I give him a hug. "Of course, Dad."

Dad squeezes me and then turns me around and places me in Harper’s arms. "Sorry, Harper," he says, patting her on the back and exiting quickly.

"You okay, darlin’?" Harper’s arms tighten around me. We are still in the middle of the dance floor and aren’t even pretending to dance.

I start moving us gently to the music so we don’t continue to attract so much attention. I don’t want my dad to feel worse than he already does. I figured the bitch would get out of this somehow, but I didn’t want to really know about it. I just wanted to accidentally run her over with my car one day. And back up a few times. "Mother cut a deal. She’s at some country club prison."

"Well, good," Harper replies, surprising me. "Maybe someone will stick a golf club up her — "

I reach up and cover her mouth with my hand. "Shh, Mama will hear you. Or worse, Nonny."

My spouse is unrepentant. She licks my palm.

It doesn’t phase me. I’m a mother now.

She changes tactics and tries a kiss and a nibble.

Better.

"I remember meeting the Kingsleys for the first time when they were a young family. In fact, their youngest, Harper Lee, had been born on a few months before. Had I been told then that the little one would grow up to steal my girl’s heart, I would have laughed. And I would have been terribly wrong to do so." Matthew shakes his head.

"Jonathan was trying to convince me to sit on the board of directors for his investment firm. Part of his charm campaign was to invite me over for dinner at his house.

"So, on my next business trip to New Orleans, I went over to eat with Jonathan and Cecile and their five. During dinner, I happened to mention that my father had recently been admitted to the hospital. I was shocked when Jonathan’s youngest boy, Robie, began clapping at the news.

"Cecile was horrified and Jonathan looked like he might pass out. I was curious, though. The boy didn’t seem like a bad fella, so I figured something else was going on. I asked Robie why he was clapping. He smiled and pointed to little Harper, sleeping in a nearby bassinet, and said, ‘He’s going to have a baby too!’

"Fortunately, since then, Jonathan’s done a better job of managing his firm than explaining the birds and the bees to his kids."

Kels and I stay out on the dance floor. The band is in a mellow mood at the moment, so I get to hug my girl close. "How you doing, sweetheart?" I ask, my lips near her perfect ear. I kiss behind it, drinking in the scent of her shampoo and a trace of her perfume.

"Never better. It’s a wonderful party. See, what we need to do is adopt two or three more so they can all get together and throw us a party like this in forty years."

I spin us around and dip my girl, surprising her. Pulling her back up, I steal a kiss. "I like the way you think. Though, don’t you have any cousins we could get to help us out?"

I think I’ve managed to bewilder Kels. She blinks a few times and finally manages, "Huh? Cousins? Yeah, I’ve got two or three, but …"

"Are they boy cousins or girl cousins?" I try to ignore the grin tugging at the corners of my mouth.

"I’ve got a couple of each."

I nod, considering the information. "Are they good-looking?"

"They’re from my Dad’s side of the family, so they’re not bad."

I tighten my arm around Kels, bringing her closer. "Not bad as in they don’t have three heads? Or not bad if you like men?"

"Harper, okay, I’m totally confused. Are you saying you want to have a baby?"

I guess I am. Probably not the right time to raise this particular issue, but, what the hell? The cat’s out of the bag, so to speak. I nod tentatively. "I think so. I mean, yes, I do. I really wanted to experience what you did. God, some days I was so jealous as you felt Collin and Brennan growing inside you. To create life, with someone you love, I can’t imagine anything more amazing, more fulfilling." Suddenly, I’m embarrassed to have brought this up at all, especially here and now. "But we don’t have to talk about this right now, if you don’t want to." I start to step away from her and lead us back to the cocktail room.

"No! Now is good." Kels holds me tightly, despite looking dazed by my admission. "If you really want to do that, I think it’s wonderful. We’ll find a way."

"Really?" I stop trying to leave the dance floor as Kels has a death grip on me. "You wouldn’t mind?"

"Mind? No, I wouldn’t mind. I’d love to have other babies, and I would love to share that with you." She gently rubs circles on the small of my back, comforting me. "I simply never got the impression that you would want to have a baby."

"Too butch?" I chuckle.

Kels joins me. "Yeah, too butch."

"I never wanted to, Kels, before now." How to explain this? "I never thought of myself being pregnant. Didn’t quite fit with my bad biker and renegade journalist image. I didn’t think they make leather jackets that big, you know?" Kels smiles at my joke. "I’ve always been great with kids, favorite Tante Harper, and all that. But I thought that would be it, that my nieces and nephews would be as close as I would ever get to having my own. Then I found you. When you said you wanted to have a baby, I was so happy. And now we have Brennan and Collin and I’m wild about them. I’d love for them to have a couple brothers and sisters, and I’d like to be the one to give that to them. I consider my brothers to be the best gift my parents ever gave me. I want Brennan and Collin to experience having a big family as well."