T Novan: Exposure Season 4

Kyle gives me a smile. "I’m afraid not, Harper. Not from lack of desire, though."

"Where is she now?"

"In the Burlington police department’s jail. We’ll be transferring her to New York tomorrow. There will be the standard psych evaluation — "

"That bitch had better not get off on a fake insanity plea!" I growl. I can picture her at a country club prison, spending her days playing bridge and plotting how to harm my babies in the future. The image burns through me, leaving me angry, ready for a fight.

"No matter what, I think her visitation request is dead in the water. With any luck, she’ll be put away for a long time."

I kiss my boy’s head. I drink in the smell of baby powder which clings to him. It soothes me. He makes a soft sound in his sleep, and a fierce surge of protectiveness courses through my veins. I hold him closer to me, my hand covering his back. So tiny. So fragile.

"We’ll need you and Kelsey to make a statement."

"Not tonight." Nothing will intrude upon our reunion. "Not tomorrow," I add.

"Harper …"

"I’m serious, Kyle. We’ll cooperate fully. In two days. Right now, my babies and my wife and I need some time alone." That even extends to my family. Tomorrow morning, I will gently ask if we can come visit them next weekend. Then I will snuggle down with the three I love best.

"It can’t go more than two days."

I nod, satisfied with our bargain. "You know where we live. We’re going home now."

We sleep the sleep of the righteous — and the reunited — on the flight home. Kels stretches out on the couch, and Collin sleeps on her chest. My baby girl and I are on the floor, laying beside them. For the first time in a week, I can totally relax. All is right with the world.

When we touch down in New York, Mama touches my shoulder gently. "We’re back," she whispers.

Brennan wakes up, not too happy at the interruption in her sleep. She begins crying, awakening her brother and mother at the same time. Collin fusses for a moment, but then realizes who is holding him. That calms him almost instantly. It works for me too, son. My boy and I have a lot in common.

"Shush, baby girl," I tell her. I bounce her gently.

Papa follows the pilot off the plane. I presume he’s going to get our car. Kels trades me Collin for Brennan. Silently, other than Brennan’s cries, the five of us make our way to the Range Rover.

Almost home.

I meet with Robert Bains, head of Executive Assurance. You would never pick this guy as the head of a worldwide security concern. He is slight of build, with almost delicate features. His hair is so blond it almost appears to not be there, his eyes a gentle hazel. There is a trace of a European accent; I can’t place it exactly. "I am most happy that our team contributed to the safe return of your children, Ms. Kingsley."

"Thank you, Mr. Bains. I will be forever indebted."

He brushes off my comment as if it were so much lint on his expensive suit. "Mr. Stanton is an old friend of our firm. We have been more than adequately compensated by him."

I don’t doubt that. Matt was over here this morning showering gifts and affection on my babies and my girl. "I’d like to retain you as well. Naturally, Kelsey and I are concerned, even more than before. I would like to make sure our apartment and car are protected. I’d also like to arrange a bodyguard for when we go out."

He inclines his head. "That is easily done. We would be most happy to provide those services." He meets my eyes. "You will have complete peace of mind."

I glance toward the living room and wonder if I will ever feel that way again.

This is the way life is supposed to be. I’m in my sweats, stretched out on the floor, laying on my stomach. I’m having a staring contest with my son. He’s blowing at me and reaching for my face, trying to get hold of my nose. He raises his head and pushes up on his hands, giving a frustrated little yell. He acts just like his Mama some days.

"Come get me, Fuzzy." I place my hand out there for him. He knows he can’t reach for it without putting his head down, and that makes him mad too. His tiny brows come together in a scowl. That, I think, he got from me.

And joining us from the bathroom is a freshly showered Mama and older sister. They join us in front of the fire. Looking very happy and smelling good, Harper puts Brennan down next to her brother, then plops down next to me and starts rubbing my back.

"Oh, that’s nice."

"I aim to please."

Rolling over, I reach out and caress her face. "You succeed very nicely, my love."

A loud yell from Brennan indicates that her Mama and I are paying far too much attention to each other, and not enough attention to her and her brother. "Well, I’m sorry, little miss cranky," I tease, holding my hand out to her so she can grasp at my fingers. She immediately pulls them to her mouth and tries to use them as leverage to roll onto her side. She wants to so badly. It won’t be much longer. When this one starts crawling and walking, we are doomed.

I can feel her tugging on my hand. Harper stretches out and blows bubbles on Fuzzy’s tummy, causing him to squeal and giggle.

My family. God, having them back and being together — it doesn’t get better than this.

I know Harper was truly in hell when they were missing, but my soul was dying. These little people are a part of me. Flesh of my own flesh. I carried them. I nurse them. They are a part of me, and I am a part of them. I experienced a pain in my heart and soul like no other that I have ever felt before. Nothing I have ever felt compared to the way I hurt when my children were missing.

Harper was a rock, as I expected her to be, but I’m not sure how I would have survived if the outcome had been different.

Thank God, I’ll never know.

I smile when I find Harper once again at the mercy of a child who thinks her hair is for pulling and chewing. She untangles Collin from her head, garnering more protests from our boy.

They are so vocal since we got them back. I think they missed arguing with Harper. I’ve certainly missed listening to the three of them. There is no denying the bond they share; they all simply light up when they are together.

My guiding lights, my greatest gifts. I’m keeping them close to me and protecting them with everything I have now. No one had better try to get near my family for less than loving reasons.

Because next time I’ll be ready, and I’ll tear them apart.

Somehow, I’m not surprised. It’s the middle of the night. We should both be sleeping, but Harper and I are standing in the twins’ bedroom. Our little ones are fast asleep, snuggled under their blankets.

Harper took the clothes we brought Brennan and Collin back home in and burned them in the fireplace. Neither of us wants any remnant of my mother, though it galls me to even admit that association with her, in our house.Since she’s never given me anything, I didn’t have to purge my closets. I so hope she’s put in a cell with the biggest, meanest, hairiest butch that has ever graced the federal prison system.

I shake thoughts of the woman I hate out of my mind and focus on the woman I love. She’s not aware that I am in the room with her. Her back is to me as she looks over Brennan’s crib. Harper murmurs something in French that I can’t quite hear. When she turns to walk over to Collin’s crib, she sees me in the doorway.

I shrug and smile. We’re both hopeless. That’s part of what I love so much about Harper. She cares about family. Totally. Completely. Unconditionally.

Especially our family. She was insane with grief and worry while our children were gone, but she held it together because she knew I needed her. Need her. I do need her. She’s become as indispensable to me as air.