М Стедман - The Light Between Oceans - A Novel

And the best part of twenty years flowed past like a quiet country river, deepening its path with time.

The clock chimes. Almost time to leave. It’s a short drive to town these days, with the sealed roads. Not like when they first arrived. As Tom ties his tie, a stranger with grey hair catches a glimpse of him, just a flick of an eye, then he remembers it’s himself in the mirror. Now, the suit hangs more loosely on his frame, and there is a gap between the collar and the neck inside it.

Through the window, the waves rise, sacrificing themselves in a blizzard of white, far out to sea. The ocean gives not the slightest hint that any time has passed, ever. The only sound is the buffeting of the August gales.

Having placed the envelope in the camphor chest, Tom closes the lid reverently. Soon enough, the contents will lose all meaning, like the lost language of the trenches, so imprisoned in a time. Years bleach away the sense of things until all that’s left is a bone-white past, stripped of feeling and significance.

The cancer had been finishing its work for months, nibbling the days from her, and there had been nothing to do but wait. He had held her hand for weeks, sitting by her bed. ‘Remember that gramophone?’ he would ask, or ‘I wonder whatever happened to old Mrs Mewett?’ And she would smile faintly. Sometimes, she mustered the energy to say, ‘Don’t forget the pruning, will you?’ Or, ‘Tell me a story, Tom. Tell me a story with a happy ending,’ and he would stroke her cheek and whisper, ‘Once upon a time there was a girl called Isabel, and she was the feistiest girl for miles around …’ And as he told the story, he would watch the sunspots on her hand, and notice how the knuckles swelled slightly, these days, and the ring moved loosely on the skin between the joints.

Towards the end, when she could no longer sip water, he had given her the corner of a damp flannel to suck, and smeared lanoline on her lips to stop them cracking with the dryness. He had caressed her hair, now shot-through with silver, tied in a heavy plait down her back. He had watched her thin chest rise and fall with that same uncertainty he remembered in Lucy’s when she first arrived on Janus: each breath a struggle and a triumph.

‘Are you sorry you ever met me, Tom?’

‘I was born to meet you, Izz. I reckon that’s what I was put here for,’ he said, and kissed her cheek.

His lips remembered that very first kiss decades before, on the windy beach in the setting sun: the bold, fearless girl guided only by her heart. He remembered her love for Lucy, instant and fierce and without question – the sort of love that, had things been different, would have been returned for a lifetime.

He had tried to show Isabel his love, in every act of every day for thirty years. But now, there would be no more days. There could be no more showing, and the urgency drove him on. ‘Izz,’ he said, hesitating. ‘Is there anything you want to ask me? Anything you want me to tell you? Anything at all. I’m not very good at this, but, if there is, I promise I’ll try my best to answer.’

Isabel attempted a smile. ‘Means you must think it’s nearly over then, Tom.’ She nodded her head a little, and patted his hand.

He held her gaze. ‘Or maybe that I’m just finally ready to talk …’

Her voice was weak. ‘It’s all right. There’s nothing more I need, now.’

Tom stroked her hair, looking a long while into her eyes. He put his forehead to hers, and they stayed, unmoving, until her breathing changed, growing more ragged.

‘I don’t want to leave you,’ she said, clutching his hand. ‘I’m so scared, love. So scared. What if God doesn’t forgive me?’

‘God forgave you years ago. It’s about time you did too.’

‘The letter?’ she asked anxiously. ‘You’ll look after the letter?’

‘Yes, Izz. I’ll look after it.’ And the wind shook the windows as it had done decades ago on Janus.

‘I’m not going to say goodbye, in case God hears and thinks I’m ready to go.’ She squeezed his hand again. After that, words were beyond her. Now and then she would open her eyes and there would be a sparkle in them, a light that brightened as her breathing got shallower and harder, as if she had been told a secret and suddenly understood something.

Then, on that last evening, just as the waning moon parted wintry clouds, her breathing changed in the way Tom knew all too well, and she slipped away from him.

Even though they had electricity, he sat with just the soft glow of the kerosene lamp to bathe her face: so much gentler, the light of a flame. Kinder. He stayed by the body all night, waiting until dawn before telephoning the doctor. Standing to, like in the old days.

As Tom walks down the path, he snaps off a yellow bud from one of the rose bushes Isabel planted when they first moved here. Its fragrance is already strong, and takes him back almost two decades to the picture of her, kneeling in the freshly dug bed, hands pressing down the earth around the young bush. ‘We’ve finally got our rose garden, Tom,’ she had said. It was the first time he had seen her smile since she had left Partageuse, and the image stayed with him, as clear as a photograph.

There is a small gathering at the church hall after the funeral. Tom stays as long as politeness demands. But he wishes the people really knew who they were mourning: the Isabel he had met on the jetty, so full of life and daring and mischief. His Izzy. His other half of the sky.

Two days after the funeral, Tom sat alone, in a house now empty and silent. A plume of dust fanned out in the sky, signalling the arrival of a car. One of the farm hands coming back, probably. As it got closer, he looked again. It was expensive, new, with Perth number plates.

The car drew up near the house, and Tom came to the front door.

A woman emerged and took a moment to smooth down her blonde hair, gathered in a twist at the nape of her neck. She looked around her, then walked slowly up to the verandah, where Tom now waited.

‘Afternoon,’ he said. ‘You lost?’

‘I hope not,’ replied the woman.

‘Can I help you?’

‘I’m looking for the Sherbournes’ property.’

‘You’ve found it. I’m Tom Sherbourne.’ He waited for clarification.

‘Then I’m not lost.’ She gave a tentative smile.

‘I’m sorry,’ said Tom, ‘it’s been a long week. Have I forgotten something? An appointment?’

‘No, I haven’t got an appointment, but it’s you I’ve come to see. And …’ she hesitated, ‘Mrs Sherbourne. I heard she was very ill.’

Tom was puzzled, and she said, ‘My name’s Lucy-Grace Rutherford. Roennfeldt as was …’ She smiled again. ‘I’m Lucy.’

He looked in disbelief. ‘Lulu? Little Lulu,’ he said, almost to himself. He didn’t move.

The woman blushed. ‘I don’t know what I should call you. Or … Mrs Sherbourne.’ Suddenly a thought crossed her face and she asked, ‘I hope she won’t mind. I hope I haven’t intruded.’

‘She always hoped you’d come.’

‘Wait. I’ve brought something to show you,’ she said, and headed back to the car. She reached into the front seat, and returned carrying a bassinet, her face a mixture of tenderness and pride.

‘This is Christopher, my little boy. He’s three months old.’

Tom saw peeping out from a blanket a child who so exactly resembled Lucy as a baby that a tingle crept through him. ‘Izzy would have loved to have met him. It would have meant so much to her, that you came.’

‘Oh. I’m so sorry … When did … ?’ She let the words trail off.

‘A week ago. Her funeral was on Monday.’

‘I didn’t know. If you’d prefer I left …’

He continued to look at the baby for a good while, and when he eventually raised his head, there was a wistful smile about his lips. ‘Come in.’