Cecelia Ahern - The Gift

“And what do you want for Christmas, little boy?” the voice beneath the costume bellowed.

“Oh, hi, James,” Lou said politely.

“He wants any promotion,” somebody in the crowd yelled, which was followed by a few titters.

“Not just a promotion, he wants Cliff’s job,” somebody with reindeer antlers shouted, and the crowd laughed again.

Smiling to hide his frustration and minor embarrassment, Lou laughed along with them; then when the conversation turned to something else, he quietly slipped away. He retreated to his office, which was quiet and still, with not a glimpse of tinsel or mistletoe in sight. He sat with his head in his hands, awaiting Mr. Patterson’s call to his office, listening to “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” being half sung and half shouted by the crowd outside. He shouldn’t be here, he realized. He should be across the river Liffey at his father’s party.

He reached into his pocket and retrieved the pill he had wrapped in a handkerchief. He placed it on the table and poured a glass of water. He placed the glass beside the pill and stared at them both. Took a deep breath.

Suddenly the music got louder as the door to his office opened; then it quietened as the door closed. He knew who it was before he even looked up.

Alison walked toward him, a glass of red wine in one hand, a whiskey in the other, her hips swinging in her slinky red dress and looking like the dangly thing at the back of a throat. Her ankles wobbled in her platform heels, and the wine jumped up a few times from the glass to splash her thumb.

“Careful there.” Lou’s eyes followed her every move, his head staying put, both sure and uncertain at the same time.

“It’s okay.” She put her glass down on the table and sucked her thumb, licking the spilled wine from her skin while looking at Lou seductively. “I brought you a whiskey.” She handed it to him and sidled up beside him at the desk. “Cheers.” Picking up her glass again, she clinked his and then, her eyes not once moving from his, drank.

Lou cleared his throat, suddenly feeling crowded, and pushed his chair back. Alison misunderstood and slid her behind along the desk so that she was directly in front of him now. Her chest was in his sight line, and he tore his eyes away, looking instead at the door. His position was dangerous. It looked very bad. But he felt extremely good.

“We never got to finish up what we were doing before.” She smiled. “Everybody’s talking about clearing their desks before Christmas.” Her voice was low and sultry. “Thought I’d come in and give you a hand.”

She pushed away a few files from his desk; they slid down onto the floor, scattering everywhere. The pill flew up and got lost among the files on the ground.

“Oops,” she said with a smile, sitting on the desk before him, her short red dress rising even farther up her thighs, revealing long, toned legs.

Beads of sweat broke out on Lou’s brow. His mind ran through every possibility. Go outside and search for Mr. Patterson or stay inside with Alison. He could take the pill lying somewhere on the ground and do both. No, remember his priorities: be with Alison and go to his dad’s party. No, be with Mr. Patterson and go to his dad’s party. Both at the same time.

Uncrossing her legs, Alison used her foot to pull his chair in closer to the desk, red lace between her thighs greeting him as he was wheeled slowly closer to her. She scooted forward to the edge of the desk, pushing her dress up even higher. So high there was nowhere else for him to look now. He could take a pill: be with Alison and be with Ruth.

Ruth.

Alison reached out and pulled him closer, her hands now on his face. He felt the acrylic nails. The tap-tap sound against the keyboards that drove him insane every day. There they were, on his face, on his chest, running down his body. Long fingers on the fabric of his suit, the suit that was supposed to mirror his inner dignity.

“I’m married,” he sputtered as her hand reached his groin. His voice was panicked, sounding childlike.

Alison threw her head back and laughed. “I know,” she purred, and her hands continued roving.

“That wasn’t a joke,” he said firmly, and she stopped suddenly to look at him. He stared back at her solemnly, and they held each other’s gaze. Then the corner of Alison’s lips lifted in a smile, despite her attempts to prevent it. Then, when she couldn’t keep it in anymore, she exploded. Her long blond hair reached down to his desktop as she threw her head back to laugh once again.

“Oh, Lou,” she sighed, finally wiping the corners of her eyes.

“It’s not a joke,” he said, more firmly and with more dignity and confidence, he hoped. More of a man now than he was five minutes ago.

As she realized he really wasn’t teasing, her smile faded instantly.

“Isn’t it?” She cocked an eyebrow, looked him dead in the eye. “Because you might have fooled her, Lou, but you haven’t fooled us.”

“Us?”

She waved a hand behind her dismissively. “Us. Everyone. Whatever.”

He pushed his chair away from the desk.

“Oh, okay, you want me to be specific? I’ll be specific. Gemma in accounts, Rebecca in marketing, Louise in personnel, Tracey — your secretary before me — and I never did get the nanny’s name. Shall I continue?” She smiled, then took a sip of wine, watching him. Her eyes watered slightly, her corneas reddened as though the wine was traveling directly to her eyes. “Remember all of them?”

“They were” — Lou swallowed, feeling breathless — “they were a long time ago. I’m different now.”

“The nanny was six months ago.” She laughed. “Christ, Lou, how much do you think a man like you can change in six months, if at all?”

Lou felt dizzy, sickened all of a sudden. He ran his sweaty hands through his hair, panic setting in. What had he done?

“Just think about it.” She perked up. “When you become Number Two around here, you can have whoever you want; but just remember, I got you first.” She laughed, putting down the wine and reaching out her foot to pull his chair toward her again. “But if you take me with you, I can tend to all your needs.”

She took the whiskey glass from his hand and placed it on the desk. Then she took his hand and pulled him to his feet, and he followed, numb and lifeless like a dummy. She rubbed her hands across his chest, grabbed his lapels, and pulled him closer.

So much went through his mind right then, a strobelight effect of thoughts; manic and not fully formed, they flashed in and out of his head as he failed to hold on to one and really register it. Each was a warning he couldn’t fully grasp. If he could just bring himself back into the moment and stop smelling Alison’s perfume, stop feeling her fingertips, which were gentle on his cheeks…Gabe spoke his words of wisdom in one ear; Lou Suffern’s dark side whispered in the other. But suddenly, he watched with great clarity as what he had been slowly learning over the past few days came flying toward him like a meteor headed toward the Earth. Its impact yielded a result. What he was doing with Alison was wrong. This was all wrong. He wasn’t that man anymore. His great life, his achievements, were so only because of his family. Take them away, take Ruth away, and he was and had nothing.

Just as their lips were about to meet, he stopped and moved his lips to her ear. Ever so softly, he whispered, “My marriage is not a joke, Alison.”

With that, he pulled back and walked away from the desk.

Alison sat frozen on the desk. The only movement was her mouth, which had fallen open, and her hand, which fidgeted and tried to pull at the bottom of her skirt.

“Yeah,” he said as he watched her fix herself, “you should cover that up. You can take a minute to gather your thoughts, but please replace the files on my desk before you leave,” he said calmly, moving the files around with his shoe to find the displaced pill. Finding it nestled in the thick carpet, he quickly picked it up and placed it in his pocket. Leaving his hands there to hide how much his body shook, he strode out of his office and into the middle of a karaoke, where Alex from accounts was drunkingly singing Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas.” Streamers popped around Lou, and drunken colleagues smothered him with kisses as he left his office.