Chantelle Shaw: Ruthless Russian, Lost Innocence

He had no right to be so angry, she thought rebelliously when he ushered her into the sitting room and followed her inside, closing the door with an ominous thud. He had admitted that her pregnancy was due to his mistake. He was probably furious because he believed she would demand a huge maintenance agreement for their child-but he had no need to worry, she thought fiercely. She wanted nothing from him. Somehow she would manage to bring up her child alone.

Vadim crossed to the bar and poured himself a large vodka, uncaring that it was only eleven a.m. His hand shook as he lifted the glass to his lips, and he gulped the clear liquid down in one, feeling the alcohol warm the blood that had frozen in his veins. Ella had moved to stand by the window and sunlight danced over her hair, turning it into a river of gold that flowed down her back. She was so beautiful-but he could not bear to look at her, and he gripped the glass in his hand so tightly that it was in danger of shattering.

‘No wonder you were so desperate to leave France and go back to London,’ he bit out savagely. ‘I assume you weren’t going to tell me you are carrying my child.’

Startled by the accusation, Ella shook her head. ‘I had no idea I was pregnant,’ she defended herself.

‘How could you not have known?’ Vadim demanded blisteringly. ‘You must have known, and that’s why, out of the blue, you announced that you wanted to end our affair-because you didn’t want me to find out.’ He drew a ragged breath and fought to control the emotions that had been building inside him since the shocking revelation that Ella had conceived his baby.

‘Push me higher on the swing, Papa…’ Klara’s sweet voice echoed in his mind, and for a moment he saw her face with such crystal clarity that he felt he could almost reach out and touch her, hold her wriggling little body in his arms and tell her she was his princess. Grief pierced him like an arrow through the heart. Klara had gone, and he would never hear her laughter again. But now, amazingly, there would be another child-not a replacement for the child he had lost, but a precious gift he would treasure, a second chance at father-hood that he would not fail.

He stared at Ella, recalling the several occasions when she had stated that she did not plan to have children because she wanted to concentrate on her career, and a sickening suspicion crept into his mind. ‘Do you intend to go ahead with the pregnancy?’ he demanded coldly. ‘Or was the reason for your sudden decision to rush back to England so that you could have a termination?’ He ignored her shocked gasp and continued harshly, ‘You might not want this baby, but I do. I realise that nine months of pregnancy will interrupt your career, but I will compensate you financially, and from the moment the baby is born I will take charge of it. You will be able to have your life back.’

Ella opened her mouth, but her vocal cords had been strangled and no sound emerged. ‘You’re offering to…to buy the baby from me?’ she faltered at last, shock swiftly replaced by searing rage. ‘How dare you make the appalling suggestion that I would even think about ending my pregnancy?’ Her emotions were on a rollercoaster, and her anger died as quickly as it had come as hurt unfurled inside her. How could she ever have believed that she and Vadim were growing close when he could think that of her? It proved that he did not know her at all, she thought miserably.

But in truth his reaction to the news of her pregnancy had taken her by surprise. She had not expected him to want this baby. But she had seen the pain in his eyes when he had told her about the tragic loss of his daughter-she should have known that he would feel protective of the child she was carrying.

‘I might not have planned to have children, but I want this baby, and I will love it and be the best mother I possibly can,’ she said shakily. ‘If you want to be involved in our child’s upbringing, then I’m sure we can work out arrangements for shared access and…and visiting rights,’ she pushed on, her voice wavering slightly when Vadim’s brows drew together in a thunderous frown.

‘I have no intention of visiting my child,’ he grated. ‘I want to be a proper, hands-on father.’ The kind of father he should have been to Klara, instead of spending long hours at his office.

‘But…what will we do?’ Ella queried uncertainly, wondering if Vadim would demand that their baby should spend a few weeks, or even months, living with each of them in turn. An arrangement along those lines might enable her to continue with her career, she acknowledged. But she knew instantly that she would not be able to bear being parted from her child for even a day, and compared to being a mother her career was no longer the most important thing in her life.

‘I’m not sure how we’ll sort out the details,’ Vadim admitted. ‘All I know is that I am determined to take an active role in my child’s upbringing. Maybe we could continue with the arrangement to share Kingfisher House, so that the baby lives with both of us?’

Ella frowned, wondering if he meant that she and the baby would live in the caretaker flat, enabling him to see his child regularly while he maintained his bachelor lifestyle in the main part of the house. He had made it clear that he wanted his baby, but had made no mention of how he saw her future role in his life. He might bring other women back for the night, she thought, blanching at the idea of living next door to him, knowing that he was making love to a new mistress in the master bedroom where he had once made love to her.

‘That would be unbearable!’ she burst out, feeling sick with misery. ‘I want to live in my own house and lead my own life.’

Did the new life she suddenly seemed so keen on include dating other men? Vadim wondered furiously. He felt as though he had been kicked in the gut by her adamant refusal to share Kingfisher House with him. It seemed the obvious solution, which would enable them to both care for the baby, but Ella had sounded horrified by the suggestion.

What if she had a relationship with some guy and invited him to stay the night-or even move in with her? Jealousy burned like acid in his stomach as he imagined another man making love to her, and perhaps acting as a father figure to his child. The prospect was intolerable, and his resolve hardened.

‘I should warn you that if we cannot reach an amicable agreement on shared care then I will fight for sole custody of our child-and I will win,’ he said harshly.

Ella paled. He was deadly serious, she realised shakily. She had always known that beneath his charisma there was a ruthless side to him, and here now was proof of his lethal power. ‘You wouldn’t…’ she said shakily.

‘I can afford the best lawyers; and I can give our child a stable home, an excellent education-everything that money can buy,’ he listed harshly. ‘Whereas you…’ He raked his eyes over her slender figure. ‘You have admitted that you need to practise your violin for five or six hours a day, and playing with an orchestra means that you would be at work in the evenings. What do you propose to do with our child then? Leave him or her in the care of a babysitter? And what about when you are on tour-will you drag the baby around Europe with you?’

‘I don’t know!’ she cried, hating him for voicing exactly the same problems she had foreseen. ‘Despite what you think, finding out that I’m pregnant was a complete shock, and right now my world feels as though it has been turned upside down,’ she admitted huskily, brushing her hand across her eyes to wipe away her tears.

The betraying gesture tugged on Vadim’s conscience and his anger drained away-to be replaced with a strong urge to haul her into his arms and simply hold her, tell her that he would take care of her and their baby. But she had made it clear that she did not want his care. Pain lanced him, and he moved away from her, needing to put some space between them while he brought his emotions back under control. He who prided himself on having dismissed emotions from his life! That was a laugh, he thought savagely. Ella had got him so stirred up that he couldn’t think straight, and his normal cool logic had been replaced with a seething mass of emotions.