Susan Donovan - The night she got lucky

Do you have your room key? Roxie asked, trying to change the subject.

There are no keys here. It's a private home.

Oh. Right.

Now, what I was getting at is, I wonder about the man you'll fall for. If he's anything like Rick and Lucio, then, woo-hoo ! We'd better put on our seat belts!

Here you are! Roxie flung open the door to Mrs. Needleman's room and nearly dragged her across the threshold. Hurry now. It's pretty cold out here. I wouldn't want you to get chilled.

Mrs. Needleman chuckled. You're trying to get rid of me.

Not at all. Good night now. Feel free to call Bea if you need anything.

Roxanne.

She'd already turned her back to Mrs. Needleman. She stood still, wrapping her arms around herself to stay warm. Roxie looked up to see a few stray snowflakes still falling from the sky.

She turned back toward Mrs. Needleman. I think we should just be honest, here, Gloria.

The old woman smiled. You do, do you?

Yes.

Fine by me.

Roxie laughed a little, surprised by the piss and vinegar in this old lady. Here it is. I'll lay it all out for you. Now listen closely. I do not want a man.

Mrs. Needleman said nothing. She looked almost bored.

I will not be ‘falling for' anyone, as you say. I will never again change my life and myself to please some guy. My life is mine to live. My terms. My dreams. And my dreams do not include a man.

Mrs. Needleman shrugged. Are you finished?

Roxie's mouth fell open. This woman was unbelievable! No. As a matter of fact, I'm not done.

Mrs. Needleman gestured broadly. Then please continue.

Okay. Fine. I will. Roxie shifted her weight from foot to foot. All I'm saying is that I think you're a sweet lady and you mean well, but I won't be sticking around for the mumbo-jumbo lecture about fate and destiny that you used to psych out Josie and Ginger. That kind of crap isn't my thing, okay? I'm thrilled for them, but this is where your fortune-teller gig comes to a screeching halt. I won't be participating. Got it?

The old woman blinked at her.

Sorry, but that's how I feel. Roxie crossed her arms over her chest.

Now are you done? Mrs. Needleman asked.

Uh, sure.

Lovely. The old lady smiled briefly. Then she frowned. You want honesty, my dear girl? I've got some honesty for you. She wagged a finger. You are the angriest young woman I have ever met. That anger is going to eat you alive unless you face the source of it, name it, and let it go.

Roxie felt as if she'd been punched in the stomach. She could hardly get enough air in her lungs.

But you will never be able to do that if you continue to run away.

I've never run away from a damn thing in my life, Roxie said, livid. You don't know anything about me.

Mrs. Needleman sighed. I know that you have been badly hurt. I know you are a hard worker and a loyal friend. I know that you are kind and patient, keeping that damaged puppy the way you have. What is her name again?

Roxie let her arms fall to her sides. Lilith.

Mrs. Needleman smiled. Let Lilith show you the way, my dear. I think that if you help Lilith with her anger, you might discover the origin of your own. It's just a suggestion.

I'm already helping Lilith.

Then keep at it.

Fine.

Now, was that so terrible? Was my advicemy mumbo jumbo as you call itso difficult to swallow?

I suppose not.

Mrs. Needleman reached for Roxie's hand. Do you know the one thing you can never run from, Roxanne?

She shrugged. Sure. I took Psych 101.

And?

Myself. The one thing I can never run from is myself.

The old lady smiled and gave Roxie's hand a squeeze. Well, then, Mrs. Needleman said. My work here is done. Good night.

Then she closed the door in Roxanne's face.