Janelle Denison - Too Wilde to Tame

"It's not horrible at all, Mia. Being a little girl, it was a way of self-preservation for you."

She agreed, but she was also coming to recognize that her actions as a young girl had carried through to her adult years and had affected so many aspects of her life. Including the ability to let anyone get too close emotionally. That had cost her dearly with Amelia.

"It's my fault I never bonded with Amelia," she said, confessing the painful truth. "She tried in so many ways to be a mother to me, but I rebuffed every one of her attempts until she just stopped trying."

"It's never too late to make things right, Mia."

But Mia didn't know how to make it right, or how to bridge nearly twenty years of what had been a strained relationship between herself and Amelia. And there was always the possibility Amelia wouldn't forgive her for being the selfish, self-centered stepdaughter she'd been. That thought made her feel so empty deep inside, because she knew she'd missed out on a relationship that could have been priceless and precious.

The realization made her feel so ashamed, and having just poured her heart out to Cameron, she felt so exposed, so vulnerable, and she tried to cover it up with a light, airy laugh that lacked any real humor. "I bet you're sorry you asked about Amelia, huh?"

"Not at all," he said, his tone as sincere as the matching emotion she saw in his eyes. "It's a part of who you are, Mia, and it's something I wanted to know, or else I wouldn't have asked."

He reached over to the nightstand and turned off the light, so the only illumination came from the TV across the room. As if sensing exactly what she needed, right when she needed it the most, he patted the empty space next to him on the bed.

"Come here," he murmured.

His low, coaxing voice drew her, and the tenderness she witnessed in his gaze made her heart ache for things she'd denied herself for so long. But tonight, she didn't want to refuse the simple luxury of being held, to feel safe and secure in Cameron's embrace, and to know that she wasn't alone as she'd been for years. By choice.

She stretched out by his side, and he gathered her close so her head was resting on the solid warmth of his chest and their legs were entwined. She breathed in his scent and could hear the strong, steady beat of his heart beneath her ear. So rhythmic. So comforting. So real.

Closing her eyes, she relaxed and let the burden of her painful memories drift away as his fingers threaded through her hair and massaged her scalp and his other hand stroked along her side and over her hip. Their embrace was intimate but not sexual, and it was so nice just to be held, without expectations of anything more.

Content and strangely fulfilled with his arms around her, Mia fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. When she woke in the morning, he was gone, and she realized that at some point during the night he'd slid from her bed, tucked her beneath the covers, and left her apartment After her emotional night, he was giving her space, and while she appreciated his thoughtfulness, she hated more that she'd awakened in a cold, lonely bed without him in it.

Oh, that so wasn't good, she thought with a groan, and buried her face in her pillow, wishing the action could make her forget the fact that she'd given Cameron so much of herself last night, a telling glimpse into her painful past. The tears that had showed him just how vulnerable she was beneath her normal I-don't-give-a-damn facade. And the trust she'd never given to any other man she'd dated.

But worse than that, she feared she'd given him something she'd never be able to reclaim as her own-a huge piece of her heart. That notion scared her more than anything she had ever faced, because it set her up for heartache, for loss and failure, and for the kind of pain she'd spent a lifetime making certain she'd never experience again.

MIA headed down the pathway to her apartment after work Tuesday evening, her mind already on the stained-glass design she planned to work on tonight. She realized she'd become somewhat of a homebody, and though she felt her place was too quiet and lonely sometimes, she had to admit she didn't miss going out to bars and nightclubs and the other places she used to frequent in the evenings after work.

Now she had a distinct reason for staying home, and that was to work on her stained-glass art. Amy had scheduled Mia's first showing with the gallery for the end of the month, and Mia wanted to be able to present as many new pieces of the erotic art as possible. Especially because the current silent auction Amy had begun on the pieces she'd left at the gallery had generated not only an amazing amount of bids, but also a flurry of interest in her work. That auction would end the night of the show, and Amy was confident the final bid was going to exceed both of their expectations.

It was an exhilarating feeling, a high that gave her an incredible boost of energy and excitement that transferred over to her designs and actual artwork. And while a part of her couldn't wait for the gallery show, she had to admit there was one issue she still hadn't yet resolved-how to tell her family about her "unveiling." She knew she'd invite her family, but she didn't think she had the nerve to tell them what to expect beforehand. Scott and her father had rejected her attempt at making something of her normal stained-glass designs, so a huge part of her was nervous and cautious about her family's reaction when they realized that some of her art wasn't as innocent as it seemed.

Working on her designs and artwork every spare minute she found available also kept Mia's mind off of that huge revelation she'd come to about her feelings for Cameron a few mornings ago. She'd at least managed to convince herself that she'd been in a very vulnerable state after telling him about her past, and that had led to her overwhelming and too emotional thoughts.

But now, with a few days between them and that night, she was able to be more objective about the situation-and her affair with Cameron, which didn't allow room for emotional sentiments that would only complicate matters. They made great lovers, and Lord knew she'd grown to care for him beyond anything she could have imagined, but she knew deep in her heart that she wasn't the kind of woman Cameron needed or wanted in his life on a long-term basis. She was also smart enough to recognize her inability to sustain a lasting relationship with any man-her past history had taught her that-and she wasn't about to hurt Cameron in the long run.

With a sigh, she turned the corner toward her apartment and buried those thoughts in the deepest recesses of her heart. Instead, she refocused on the stained-glass design awaiting her tonight. This one was a collage of bright, vibrant butterflies, with an image of an erotically entwined couple silhouetted where the multi-colored wings overlapped. It was an intricate piece and very challenging, but those were the pieces that excited her the most.

She arrived at her place, and just as she lifted her keys to unlock the door, she heard the scuff of footsteps. She glanced over her shoulder and sucked in a quick breath when she found Ray standing directly behind her. His unexpected presence startled her so badly her keys slipped from her fingers and clattered to the ground.

Her guard immediately went up, and she spun around so she didn't have her back to him. She'd been foolish for not paying better attention to her surroundings considering someone was currently stalking her-possibly even this man who'd seemingly snuck up on her when she'd least expected it.

Her stomach clenched in apprehension, and she thought about the keys on the ground, which was her only way to get into the safety of her apartment-but she refused to bend down to pick them up and give him any kind of advantage over her. Instead, she tried to recall every defense tactic her brothers had ever taught her, just in case she needed to use them on Ray. He wasn't a big man, but he was solid and obviously knew how to hurt and dominate women.