Lucy Gordon - And the Bride Wore Red

At the end she was exhausted but triumphant. She’d always suspected that this forceful arrogance was one of the mysteries that lay behind his mild manners, and there was deep satisfaction in having tempted it out at last.

‘Are you all right?’ he asked quietly. ‘I hadn’t meant to be quite so-adventurous.’

The other Lang was back, the quiet one with perfect manners. But she’d seen beyond him now, and she liked what she’d discovered.

‘Perhaps we should try it that way a few more times,’ she said with a contented smile. ‘I rather enjoy not being a lady.’

He laughed. ‘Were you actually trying to make me jealous tonight?’

‘I suppose I was,’ she said in a pensive voice. ‘But you did quite a bit yourself.’

‘You couldn’t expect me to ignore your challenge.’

‘But it’s not fair. I have so much more to be jealous of than you.’

‘You think I’m not jealous of Andy?’

‘Who? Oh, him. You shouldn’t be. You know all about him, and I know nothing about your love life-unless you expect me to believe you’ve lived like a monk.’

She thought he paused a little before saying lightly, ‘Certainly not. I told you about Becky Renton-perhaps not everything, but-’

‘Spare me the details of what happened behind the bicycle sheds at school. I don’t even want to know about the girls you took to the Dancing Dragon.’

‘I explained.’

‘Yes, I remember your explanation-very carefully edited, which was probably wise of you.’

He regarded her wryly. ‘Do you want chapter and verse?’

Warning bells went off in her mind. This was straying into dangerous territory.

He was lying on his back with Olivia on her stomach beside him with a clear view of his face and its suddenly withdrawn look. Two instincts warred within her. She was curious about his life yet reluctant to sound like a jealous nag.

Let it go , she thought. She’d just had the clearest demonstration of what she was to him.

‘Of course I don’t want chapter and verse,’ she said firmly. ‘I know you must have played the field. It would worry me more if you hadn’t.’

She put an arm about his neck and lay over him, her face against his shoulder, feeling him curve his arm to hold her more closely.

‘There is one I’d like to tell you about,’ he said at last. ‘So that there are no secrets between us.’

‘All right. Go on.’ Now the moment was here she only wanted to back away, but it was too late.

‘I was like you for a long time,’ he said. ‘I never let myself get too far into a relationship. I knew where I was heading and I didn’t want anything to get in the way. But a few months before I left England I fell in love with a girl called Natalie.

‘Everything seemed perfect. We planned to get married and come to China together. But one day I found her looking through advertisements for houses, hoping to buy one for us to live in. When I reminded her about China, she laughed and said, “Isn’t it time to be realistic?”

‘I understood then that she’d never really meant to come with me. She’d thought of it as nonsense that I’d get over. When she realised that I was serious, she became angry. She forced me to choose between her and China, and so-’ He paused. ‘And so we said goodbye.’

Olivia had raised herself so that she could look down at him. He turned his head to look at her, and now she wished she could read what was in his eyes.

‘Did you ever regret letting her go?’ She had to ask, although she feared the answer.

‘She’d been deceiving me all that time, keeping a distance between us when I’d thought we were so close. Our minds would always have been apart.’

‘But if you loved her-it’s not just minds, is it?’

He glanced at her naked body leaning over him, the beautiful breasts hanging down so that the nipples touched him, and he caressed them gently.

‘No,’ he said softly, ‘it’s not just minds. But you and I have everything-minds, as well as hearts and bodies. Have you not felt that?’

‘Yes, from the first moment.’

‘You would never hide your thoughts from me, or I from you. I didn’t tell you about Natalie before because I was afraid you would misunderstand and think it had more importance than it has.’

‘And how much does it have?’

‘Some, for a while. But now none at all. She married someone else last year, and I’m glad for her. If we’d married it would have been a disaster, because we would each have wanted something the other could never give. There’s nothing there to make you jealous. The wisest thing I ever did was to wait for you.’

She lay down against him, reassured and content. It wasn’t until the last moment that it occurred to her that there was something ominous in the story, but before she could think of it she was asleep.

Only one person was welcome in their secret world, and that was Norah.

The boat had a computer link-up and Olivia had brought her laptop. Now they both enjoyed going online to her. She and Lang would embark on a chat as though taking up where they’d left off only a few minutes before. Norah liked him as she had never liked Andy, Olivia realised.

He talked about the Yangtze, describing the view from the deck until her eyes shone.

‘Oh, that must have been so marvellous!’ she exclaimed. ‘What a sight!’

‘Perhaps you’ll see it yourself one day,’ he suggested.

‘That would be lovely, but I’m old now. I don’t think there are any long journeys for me.’

‘Who knows what the future holds?’ Lang said mysteriously.

Listening to this, Olivia wondered if she was reading too much into a few words, but they seemed to lead in only one direction. If she and Lang were to choose a life together, she would have to move permanently to China. His life here was too settled to allow any doubt.

For just a little longer they could live in this private universe where the real world was set at a distance. But soon the practical decisions would have to be made.

They said goodnight and hung up. Lang was regarding her with a question in his eyes.

‘Something troubling you?’

‘I was just wondering about Norah. She’s very old, and when you talk of her coming here…’

‘She’s not too old for China. Old people get treated very well here, better than in many other countries.’

‘Yes, I know, but that long air-journey.’

‘Can be made a lot more comfortable with an upgrade.’ He gave her a conspiratorial smile, reminding her that the word had a special significance for them. ‘We just buy her a ticket in business class, where she can travel in comfort, stretch out and go to sleep. I think she’d like it here.’

‘Lang, what are you saying?’

‘I’m just looking ahead, down many different roads, but they all lead to you, my love. Let it happen as it will.’

Yes, she thought, that was the way. Fate, something she’d never believed in before, but which now seemed the only way.

Yet the flight arrangements he’d mentioned showed that he’d been thinking about this in detail, planning for the day.

He partially explained the mystery as they lay together later.

‘It comes from belonging to two different cultures,’ he said sleepily. ‘One side of me believes in fate and destiny, good luck, bad luck, being touched by another world we can’t control. The other side makes graphs and looks up flight timetables.’

‘Which side of you is which?’

‘They’re mixed up. Both cultures have both aspects, but they speak with different accents. Sometimes I tell myself how completely I belong here. I love my Chinese family.’

‘And they love you dearly too. Biyu talked of you being “a little bit English” as though that bit doesn’t matter at all next to your Chinese quarter. It must be wonderful to be so completely accepted.’