LUCY GORDON: The Italian’s Miracle Family

Strangely the question didn’t offend her as it would have done from anyone else. Their plight was the same.

‘I don’t know,’ she said simply. ‘How can I be? By now it should be all behind me, and yet-somehow it isn’t.’

He nodded, and the sight gave her an almost eerie feeling, as though she and this stranger were linked by a total understanding that reduced everything else to irrelevance.

‘Is that why you came?’ she asked.

‘Partly. I also came for my daughter’s sake.’

He indicated the child standing a little way off with an elderly woman who was leaning down, talking to her. It was the same child who’d been in the picture, a year older.

As Alysa watched, the two moved across to where the flowers lay, so that the little girl could lay down her posy in tribute. Looking up, she saw her father, and she smiled and began to run towards him, crying, ‘Poppa!’ At once he reached down to pick her up.

Alysa closed her eyes and turned slightly. When she opened her eyes again the child would be out of her sight line. Something was happening inside her, and when it had finished she would be all right. It was a technique she’d perfected months ago, based on computer systems.

It started with ‘power up’ when she got out of bed, then a quick run-through of necessary programs and she was ready to start the day. A liberal use of the ‘delete’ button helped to keep things straight in her head, and if something threatened her with unwanted emotion she hit the ‘standby’ button. As a last resort there was always total shut-down and reboot, but that meant walking away to be completely alone, which could be inconvenient.

Luckily, standby was enough this time, and after a moment she was able to turn back and smile in a way that was almost natural. She could do this as long as she aimed her gaze slightly to the right, so that she wasn’t looking directly at the child.

Drago was absorbed in the little girl, whom he was holding up in his arms. Alysa marvelled at how his face softened as he murmured to his daughter, words she could not catch.

The woman spoke in Italian. Alysa picked up ‘introdurre’ , and guessed it meant ‘introduction’.

‘I am Signorina Alysa Dennis,’ she said.

The older woman nodded and switched to English.

‘I am Signora Fantoni, and this is my granddaughter, Tina.’

Tina had been watching Alysa over her father’s shoulder, her eyes bright. Now Drago set her down and she immediately turned to Alysa, holding out her hand, speaking English slowly and carefully.

‘How do you do, signorina ?’

‘How do you do?’ Alysa returned.

‘We came here because of my mother,’ the child said, like a wise little old woman. ‘Did you know someone who died?’

Beside her, Alysa heard Drago give a sharp intake of breath, and her heightened sensitivity told her everything.

‘Yes, I did,’ she said.

Incredibly she felt a little hand creep into hers, comforting her.

‘Was it someone you loved very much?’ Tina asked softly.

‘Yes, but-forgive me if I don’t tell you any more. I can’t, you see.’

Without looking at Drago, she sensed him relax. He’d been afraid of what she might say in front of his little girl.

Tina nodded to show that she understood, and her hand tightened on Alysa’s.

‘It’s time to go home,’ Drago said.

‘Yes, I’ll be leaving too,’ Alysa agreed.

‘No!’ Drago rapped out the word so sharply that they stared at him. ‘I mean,’ he amended quickly, ‘I would like you to join us tonight, for supper.’

His mother-in-law frowned. ‘Surely a family occasion-’

‘We all belong to the same family of mourners,’ Drago said. ‘Signorina , you will dine with us. I won’t take no for an answer.’

He meant it, she could tell.

Drago stroked his daughter’s hair. ‘Go ahead to the car with your grandmother.’

Signora Fantoni glared, silently informing him of her disapproval, but he ignored her and she was forced to yield, taking Tina’s hand and turning away.

‘Poppa,’ Tina said, suddenly fearful. ‘You will come, won’t you?’

‘I promise,’ he said gently.

Relieved, she trotted away with her grandmother.

‘Since her mother died she’s sometimes nervous in case I vanish too,’ he said heavily.

‘Poor little mite. How does she bear it?’

‘With great pain. She adored her mother. Thank you with all my heart for guarding your words. I should have warned you, but she came to us so suddenly there was no time.’

‘Of course I was careful. I guessed you hadn’t told her very much.’

‘Nothing. She has no idea that Carlotta had left us. She thinks her mamma had to go away to visit clients, and was on her way home when she stopped off at the waterfall. If she hadn’t died, she would have been home next day. That’s what Tina believes, and what I want her to believe, at least until she’s older.’

‘Many mothers would have taken their child with them,’ Alysa mused.

‘Yes, but she abandoned hers, and that’s what I don’t want Tina to know. Even my mother-in-law has no idea. She too thinks Carlotta was on a business trip and meant to return. Why should I hurt her with the truth?’

‘No reason, so it’s better if I don’t dine with you.’

‘Not at all. I trust you. You’ve already proved that I can do so. You understood everything at once. Shall we go now?’

But suddenly Alysa’s alarm bells were ringing. This man was dangerous to her precarious peace. How dared he take her consent for granted? She should run away fast, take the next plane back to England and safety.

‘Look, I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘But I never agreed to this. I have to go home.’

‘Not before we’ve talked,’ he said firmly.

Her anger rose.

‘Don’t try to give me orders,’ she flashed. ‘We’ve only just met, and you think you can dictate to me? Well, you can’t. I’m going.’

She tried to turn away but he gripped her arm.

‘How dare you?’ she snapped. ‘Let me go at once.’

He gave no sign of obeying her demand.

‘Only just met,’ he scoffed. ‘You know better than that.’

She did, and it was like a blow to the heart. They had known each other only a few minutes, yet their shared knowledge gave them a painful intimacy, isolating them together, facing the whole world on the far side of a glass barrier.

‘When you saw me across the water,’ he grated, ‘you knew who I was, didn’t you?’

‘Yes.’

‘How?’

‘I researched your wife on the internet, and you were part of what I found. Somehow I just had to find out about the woman James left me for.’

‘Yes, you had to find out. I felt the same, but for me there was no way to do it. I knew nothing about the man she went away with, except his name, and that led nowhere. You’ve been able to answer some of your questions, but can you begin to imagine what it’s like for me, never to be able to find a single answer?

‘In there-’he stabbed his own forehead ‘-there’s a black hole that I’ve lived with for a year. It’s been like standing at the entrance to the pit of hell, but I can’t see what’s there.’

‘Do you think I don’t know what that’s like?’

‘No, you don’t know what it’s like,’ he raged. ‘Because the torment springs from ignorance, and you’ve managed to deal with your ignorance. But I’ve lived with mine for a year and it’s driving me crazy.’ He shuddered then seemed to control himself by force. ‘You’re the one person who can free me from that horror, and if you imagine that I’m going to let you go without-without-’

It was harsh, almost bullying, but beneath the surface she could feel the desperate anguish that possessed him, and her anger died. So he was ill-mannered-so what? When a man saw his last hope fading, he would do anything to prevent it.