Lucy Gordon - The Millionaire’s Christmas Wish

He waited for the effusion of joy. It did not come. If anything, the fierce scrutiny on the child’s face intensified.

‘Really and truly?’ he asked. ‘Cut your throat and hope to die?’

‘Of course. When I give my word, I keep it.’

‘That’s what he says,’ insisted Bobby. And suddenly it was a child’s voice again, forlorn and almost on the edge of tears.

Alex put his hands on both Bobby’s shoulders.

‘He will be there tonight,’ he said. ‘You have my solemn promise. Word of a Santa!’

Bobby nodded, as though satisfied.

‘Now,’ Alex said, ‘tell me what you want for Christmas.’

‘But I just did,’ Bobby said.

‘That’s it? Nothing else?’

‘That’s the thing that matters. And you said I could have it. You promised.’

‘Yes, I did. So you just go on home and see what happens.’

Bobby smiled, and for the first time it was the happy, natural smile of a child. It made Alex feel as though he had been punched in the stomach.

‘All right, you two?’ It was Corinne, appearing suddenly. ‘Move along. Father Christmas still has customers.’

Another three children had joined the little queue, and Bobby and Mitzi moved off to join their mother.

‘How’s Uncle Jimmy?’ Bobby asked. ‘Can he come home?’

‘We might get him home tomorrow. We’ll have to wait and see. Come on, let’s be off home. Goodbye, Santa.’

‘Goodbye, Santa,’ they chorused.

Alex raised a hand in a gesture of farewell and turned back to his next ‘customer’ with reluctance.

He wasn’t sure how he got through the next few minutes. His mind followed Corinne and the children out of the hospital and into her car, watching them talking, wondering what they were saying.

At last it was over and he was free to go. To his relief, Mrs Bradon joined him in the kitchen just as he finished changing. He would not have thought it possible that he could have been glad to see her.

‘What about the costume?’ he asked.

‘Just take it with you. Corinne will know what to do with it.’

He packed up the costume into its bag and tossed it into the back of his car. On the journey, he wondered how much Corinne would have told the children after they left.

When he reached the house he intended to go straight in. Instead, he found himself sitting in the silent car, trying to psyche himself into taking the next step.

It should be his great moment. He would burst through the front door, keeping Santa’s promise and enjoying the look on his children’s faces.

Without warning, his courage failed. He didn’t know why. His son had spoken like a child who loved his father and looked forward to seeing him. Yet he had said, ‘It isn’t for long, just Christmas Eve until Christmas Day. He could spare us that, couldn’t he?’

Something about those words haunted Alex painfully.

He could spare us that, couldn’t he?

Was that how Bobby saw his father? Doling out his time in small, begrudged amounts?

He did not want to go inside the house.

Cowardice. The weakness he had always despised most.

With sudden decision, he got out of the car. In the porch he hunted for the key that Corinne had left out for him, hearing sounds inside the house. There was her voice.

‘Bobby, what are you doing in the hall?’

‘Nothing, Mummy.’

‘Come and have an iced bun.’ That was Mitzi, a little more distant, sounding as if her mouth was full.

‘In a minute,’ Bobby replied. His voice still came from the hall.

Then Corinne’s voice.

‘Darling, why are you watching the front door?’

Suddenly, as though a spotlight had come on inside him, he saw his son’s face, staring at the front door with painful intensity, not daring to believe.

He didn’t know where that light had come from, except that it had something to do with his talk with Bobby. It lit all the world from a new angle, showing what had always been there, but which he’d never noticed.

He turned the key.

‘Daddy!’

The ear-splitting shriek came from Mitzi. Corinne was standing by the kitchen door, watching his arrival with pleasure. Only Bobby did not react. He stood completely still, his face a mask of total and utter disbelief.

Alex wanted to cry out, But I promised you. You knew I was coming. Instead, he concentrated on hugging his daughter, who was almost strangling him with the exuberance of her embrace.

‘Hello, darling,’ he said.

‘Daddy, Daddy,’ she carolled.

‘Hey, don’t choke me,’ he said, laughing. ‘How’s my girl?’

She gave him a smacking kiss, which he returned. Then it was time to face his son.

Bobby was strangely pale. ‘Hello, Daddy,’ he said.

‘Hello, son.’

To his dismay, Bobby held out his hand politely, almost as though meeting a stranger. Or a ghost.

‘Hello, Daddy.’

Then he broke suddenly, as belief came rushing through, and flung himself against his father, burying his face against him.

Alex’s arms closed protectively about his son as he felt the storm of emotion go through the child. He didn’t know what to do except stay as he was, trying to understand but feeling helpless.

Looking up, he found Corinne’s eyes on him. Her expression was gentle but he had the feeling that she was conveying a warning.

Bobby drew back to look at his father. His face bore the marks of tears, which he rubbed aside hastily. Alex brushed some of them away with his own fingertips.

‘It’s all right, son,’ he said quietly. ‘I’m home.’

Bobby sniffed. ‘Hello, Daddy.’

‘Hey, is that any way to greet your old man? Crying? Shall I go away again?’

It was a feeble joke and a badly misjudged one. Bobby clung to him, his eyes full of sudden dread, and Alex drew in his breath. He was floundering badly.

‘You’re not getting rid of me that easily,’ he backtracked, saying anything that came into his head. ‘I’m here now and I’m staying. You’ve got me for Christmas, whether you like it or not.’

Mitzi began hopping about, yelling, ‘Yippee, Yippee!’ Bobby, the thoughtful one, smiled.

‘Come on, kids,’ said Corinne. ‘Let Daddy come in and get his breath back.’

Alex straightened up and kissed her cheek. Corinne did the same, smiling to present a show of cordiality for the children.

‘You said you weren’t coming until tomorrow,’ Mitzi reminded him.

‘Well, I got away early and thought it would be nice to see a bit more of you.’ He tweaked her hair. ‘You don’t mind, do you?’

She shook her head ecstatically and pointed to the centre of her mouth. ‘I lost a tooth,’ she informed him proudly.

He studied the gap with great interest. ‘That’s very impressive. When did that happen?’

‘Last week,’ she said.

‘I’m sorry I missed that.’

‘I saved it for you,’ she reassured him.

‘Then I’ll look forward to seeing it,’ he said gamely.

Mitzi promptly pulled it out of her pocket. Alex heard Corinne give a soft choke of laughter.

‘How about selling it to me?’ he said. ‘I’ll bid you a pound.’

Mitzi made a face.

‘One pound fifty?’

She finally got him up to two pounds and the deal was struck. Mitzi pocketed her profit and went off to explain to Bobby how to do business.

‘A chip off the old block,’ Corinne said when Alex joined her in the kitchen.

‘Better,’ he agreed. ‘At her age I’d have settled for fifty pence.’

‘Ah, but don’t forget inflation,’ she said, teasing. ‘I’ll say this for you-you coped very well with that tooth. I thought it was going to faze you.’

‘Nothing fazes me,’ he insisted. Then he looked at the tooth in his hand. ‘What am I supposed to do with this?’