Lucy Gordon - The Stand-In Bride

‘No,’ Sebastian said heavily. ‘He isn’t lying. Mayorez has identified him.’

He told the story of his talk with Carlos and Ordonez whistled thoughtfully.

‘What happens next?’ Sebastian asked.

‘Hard to be sure. It would still be difficult to charge him on the basis of what we’ve got. He’s just as likely to deny he ever confessed. We’ll probably spend so much time arguing about the likely outcome that it will just vanish in the files.’

And then nobody would ever have to know, Sebastian thought as he left. Nobody, including the woman whose burdens would be doubled by the knowledge of Roderigo Alva’s innocence.

Hadn’t she suffered enough? Wouldn’t it be an act of kindness to shield her from this revelation? But his conscience told him that he wanted Maggie kept in ignorance so that she would turn more fully to himself. If she knew what he’d discovered, would she ever truly be his? Fiercely, he longed to keep the truth to himself, and not risk shattering the closeness that was building between them. But had he the right to stay quiet for his own sake?

All the way home he struggled with his fears. There were so many good reasons for doing what suited himself, and as a man of power he was familiar with most of them. But he was also a man with a rigid moral code, and he had always found temptation easy to resist.

Until now.

S EBASTIANhad been wrong in thinking that Maggie hadn’t noticed his preoccupation the night before. She’d seen it, and she’d also guessed that he hadn’t stayed up to work. So when he returned home that afternoon with a heavy step, she was ready for him.

‘What is it?’ she asked, rising and coming to stand before him, searching his face.

Until this moment, he’d thought there was still doubt about what he would say. Now he knew the decision had already been taken, because there was no way he could lie to her.

‘What has happened, Sebastian? Where have you been?’

‘With a man called Hugo Ordonez. He has extensive contacts with the police. I went to ask him about Miguel Vargas, who was arrested the other day for killing a policeman.’

She became very still. ‘Do you mean the man who gave evidence at Roderigo’s trial?’

‘Yes. Now it seems that evidence was false. It was Vargas himself who committed the attack on Felipe.’

She stared. ‘What are you saying?’

The words almost choked him. ‘I’m saying that Roderigo was innocent. Vargas was the guilty man.’

‘Vargas said that?’

‘Yes.’

‘But why would he?’

‘Because he has nothing to lose. He’s facing a life sentence, and he knows that this admission will cause trouble for the police but none for him.’

He couldn’t be sure how much she had taken in. It was almost as though she were holding the news away from her, the better to examine it, and perhaps defend herself from it.

‘And you think he’s really the man who attacked Felipe?’ she asked at last, slowly.

‘I’m sure of it. Felipe saw Vargas’ face on television on the day he was arrested, and managed to tell Carlos that he was the man. Maggie-!’

Her face had gone so white that he feared she was about to faint. He reached for her but she backed away, clutching a table to hold herself upright.

‘Roderigo was innocent,’ she said in a dazed voice. ‘He was telling the truth all the time? No-that can’t be right. It can’t be!’ The words were a plea.

‘I’m afraid it is, though.’

‘Oh, dear God!’ she whispered. ‘What am I going to do?’

‘You don’t have to do anything. I’ll start the proceedings for clearing his name-’

But she hadn’t meant that, he realised when he saw her desperate eyes. What was she to do now with her memories and her fears?

She began pacing up and down. ‘All this time,’ she was saying half to herself, ‘all this time I hated him-and he was innocent-’

‘You didn’t just hate him because of this,’ he reminded her. ‘Even without it, he’s still the man who took you for a very nasty ride.’

‘I know, I know. I’m trying to be sensible about it, but it’s hard. I deserted him, don’t you see? If I’d stayed…’

‘Maggie, he brought it on himself.’

She whirled on him. ‘Did he bring it on himself that Vargas lied?’

‘Yes,’ he shouted. ‘How did he know Vargas in the first place? Because they were fellow criminals. If he’d been an honest man, they’d never have met. Yes, he brought it on himself, and if you were thinking straight you’d see that.’

‘How do you expect me to think straight when I can hear him in my head, begging me not to leave? I could cope with that when I thought him guilty, but- Oh, God! what shall I do now? If I’d stayed-fought for him-he might have had the will to live.’

‘And he would have lived in prison. There was nothing to clear him, then. Vargas only confessed now because he’s dead. You couldn’t have freed him by staying.’

‘But he begged me to believe him,’ she cried, turning away, ‘and I just assumed the worst.’

‘Because he’d given you ample cause.’

When she didn’t answer, something snapped in Sebastian. He seized her shoulders and pulled her around to face him. ‘Listen to me,’ he said fiercely, ‘I’ve known you as a strong, sensible woman. That’s how you’ve always wanted me to see you. Well, act like one. See him as he was, a waster and a scoundrel who lived off you and broke your heart. Don’t give him a halo because he was innocent of this one crime. That’s a piece of sentimentality I didn’t expect from you.’

She stared at him, seeming dumbfounded. Sebastian had the dreadful feeling of fighting a mist. Nothing he said or did seemed to have any effect, and as his fear mounted it expressed itself as anger.

‘You had the guts to fight me,’ he shouted, giving her a little shake. ‘Why haven’t you got the guts to fight him? How much do you want to fight him?’

‘Wh-what?’

‘Why don’t you admit it?’ he demanded bitterly. ‘He’s still the one. It’s true, isn’t it?’

‘No-what are you saying?-of course it isn’t true.’

‘Words,’ he snapped. ‘Everything about your actions tell me you’re still holding him in your heart.’

‘Suppose I was?’ she raged. ‘Would you have any right to complain? You married me to ease your pride. Well, you got what you wanted. My feelings are none of your business. Now, leave me alone !’

She ran out of the room, leaving Sebastian alone, looking at the wreckage of what he had done.

He never knew where she went, and she never told him of the hours she had spent wandering in the further reaches of the grounds. There was nobody out here to see her violent storms of weeping, followed by trembling calm as she fought to get control of her dreadful thoughts. He’d been innocent, and she’d deserted him.

‘He’s still the one. It’s true, isn’t it?’

No, it isn’t! Don’t look at me like that-as though you saw what I was too appalled to see!

Then another burst of weeping, which went on until she was too tired to cry any more.

In the early evening she went in search of Sebastian and found him in his study.

‘We both said a lot of things we didn’t mean,’ she said.

Tell me you didn’t mean it.

His smile was constrained. ‘I only wanted to help you through this. I probably did it clumsily, for which I apologise.’

Tell me you no longer love him.

‘No, no, you’re right,’ she said, ‘about me building him up now. It’s just a matter of common sense.’ She smiled. ‘Just give me a little time to get my head around this.’