Kate Hoffmann - Who Needs Mistletoe?

“Go away,” she called.

“Let me in.”

“I just want to be alone for a while.” She closed her eyes, trying to stem a flood of tears. Great. Now she was crying over him. What was wrong with her? “I need some space.”

“All right,” he finally said. “But we are going to talk about this again.”

Sophie slid down along the rough wood door until she was sitting on the floor, her knees tucked under her chin. It had been so simple to avoid attachments. Trey had been right, she could have left her father and found a place for herself in the world. But instead, she’d hidden from her future, from love, in one of the remotest places she could find. Was it any wonder she had no one to love?

In her mind, she rewound the memories of her previous relationships and Sophie recognized a disturbing pattern. Whenever her feelings became too intense, she’d walk away. Her motives weren’t difficult to interpret. Her father had been a notorious philanderer and though she loved him, she’d never really trusted him. But all men weren’t like her father, were they?

There were people in the world who had wonderful marriages, people who loved the same person for their whole life without infidelity ever entering the picture. Had she already found a love like that and carelessly tossed it aside because of her fears? Or was that man here, on this island, with her?

Sophie covered her face with her hands, trying to restore a sense of order to her crazy thoughts. Someday, she’d have to face all her doubts and insecurities about love. But now wasn’t that time. How could she afford to risk her heart with a man she didn’t even know? Though they’d shared the most incredible intimacy, Trey was a complete stranger. She knew nothing of him beyond what she’d learned on this island.

Sophie silently cataloged the things that she did know. He cared about her and in more than just a sexual way. He wanted to protect her. He found her interesting and amusing and attractive. And when he touched her, he made her feel as if she were the only woman in the world he could ever want.

Inside the cottage, it was now dark and she could barely see any light coming through the windows. It would be a long, lonely night with Trey outside and her alone inside. But right now, facing Trey meant facing her feelings. And she just wasn’t ready to deal with that. Not yet.

T REY HEARD THE HINGES SQUEAKand the soft footsteps on the porch floor. He lay in the hammock, his arm thrown over his eyes, blocking his view. He slowed his breathing, wondering if she intended to speak first or reach out and touch him.

He felt her fingertips brush his shoulder and he pulled his arm back. He could just barely see her as his eyes adjusted to the dark. Trey held out his hand and she wove her fingers through his, repairing the break between them in that single instant.

He gently pulled her to the hammock and she crawled in beside him, stretching her body along his. They lay together silently, the hammock swinging back and forth, the warmth of her body seeping into his skin. Sophie nestled beneath his arm, then threw her leg across his, wriggling until she was comfortable.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his lips brushing her forehead as he stroked her hair. “I didn’t mean to snap.”

Sophie nodded. “And I’m sorry for getting angry.”

“I shouldn’t have walked out.”

“It wasn’t you,” she continued, a trace of hesitation in her voice.

“What was it?”

“Past mistakes,” she said. “What do you call it? Luggage?”

“Baggage,” Trey corrected.

“Yes. Baggage. I have a lot of baggage.”

“You and me both.” He kissed her again, but this time it wasn’t out of desire, but pure affection. She hadn’t really opened up to him, keeping details of her personal life to herself. But now, he felt desperate to know what had formed this extraordinarily fascinating female. “Sometimes, it’s better to just open it up and examine it.”

A long silence grew between them and Trey wasn’t sure she was willing to enlighten him. But then, she drew a ragged breath and began to speak.

“When I was young, we lived in Pape‘ete, in a little house near the water. My mother worked as a pastry chef in one of the big hotels and my father ran the air-charter business. I was pretty much in charge of myself and I’d come and go as I wanted. We had a wonderful life and I was happy. And my parents were like this…golden couple. Everyone loved them. My father was handsome and dashing and my mother was sophisticated and beautiful. They were proof that opposites could attract.”

She paused and for a moment, Trey wondered if she intended to stop there. But then, the next words came out in a rush. “After school, I’d usually go to the airport and work at the hangar with my father, helping to keep the books or clean the planes.” Her fingers traced lines over his bare chest, as if the distraction helped her to explain. “I’m not sure when it first happened. But one day, I walked into his office and there was a woman there, sitting on his lap, kissing him. I didn’t know what they were doing at the time, but when I got older, I understood.”

Trey could hear the pain in her voice and he pulled her closer, wrapping his arms tightly around her shoulders. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.

“My father told me I couldn’t say anything to my mother or she would be so upset she might leave us both and never come back.”

“He made you keep his secret?”

Sophie nodded. “I was so confused. I mean, I assumed he was telling the truth-that if my mother walked out on their marriage, she’d leave me behind. So I didn’t say anything. But it kept happening, with that woman, and with others. Sometimes he’d use me to make excuses to my mother. And I kept my mouth shut. Even after my mother suspected, when I could see it in her eyes, I still didn’t say anything. Then one day, she was gone.”

“That’s it? She just walked out?”

“She went back to Paris, to her family. It was a separation at first. And I thought, it’s right she leaves me, because it was my fault, too. The funny thing was, from the moment she left, my father just fell apart. He didn’t know what to do without her. And when she finally sent for me, he begged me to stay with him and I did. I thought my mother would never be able to forgive me and I just couldn’t face her.”

“Why?” Trey asked. “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know.”

“It was me who’d done it, too,” Sophie said. “I could have asked him to stop. I could have made him stop. I could have told her when it first happened. But I didn’t.”

Trey reached down and cupped her cheek in his palm, feeling the tears that dampened her cheeks. “Oh, sweetheart, you can’t blame yourself for any of that. You were just a kid. Your father was wrong to make you keep that secret. And your mother was wrong to leave you behind.”

She drew a ragged breath and then let it out. After another, he did the same along with her, until her breathing had slowed and the tears had stopped. “Better?” he asked.

Sophie nodded. “You’re right. Now that I’ve said it out loud, it feels like I can leave it behind.” She placed her palm on his cheek and kissed him. “Is that how you deal with your luggage?”

“Baggage,” he said. “I’ve got a lot of it. Steamer trunks full. But I usually pack it all up and leave it behind. I’ve got trunks all over the world-Paris, Tokyo, London, New York. I usually just abandon my baggage.”

“Is that a good idea?”

“It’s worked for me in the past,” Trey admitted. But now that he thought about it, walking away from his problems had never really solved them. He’d never taken responsibility for his life, for the mess he’d made of it. Maybe it was time for him to open some of those trunks, too, and look at what was inside.