“Yeah,” Kit said.
A scream reverberated through the house, a scream that Kit recognized as Jenna. Roxanne moaned softly, then slipped out of the closet, leaving him to make the explanations to Danny. “Well, should we look for your basketball shoes?”
“Was my mom crying?” Danny asked.
Kit frowned. “Why would she be crying?”
“She goes in the closet every morning and cries,” he explained. “She says she’s cleaning the closet, but I don’t think she is, ’cause she never takes the vacuum cleaner in.”
“What does she cry about?”
Danny shrugged. “Don’t know. Last week she didn’t go in there. I sure hope she’s not sad again.”
“I hope not, either.” He ruffled the boy’s hair. “Find your shoes. Your ride will be here soon.”
“My mom has to drive me today. There’s no car pool on Fridays. But she has to get everyone ready first, ’cause they all have to go along.”
“How about if I drive you to school?” Kit suggested.
Danny’s eyes lit up and he nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah. That would be cool. I have show-and-tell today. Can I take you? You can tell everyone about your swimming pool.”
“Why don’t we try to come up with something a little better?” Kit stepped to the bottom of the stairs and called out for Roxanne. A few seconds later, she appeared, a sobbing Jenna in her arms. “If it’s all right, I can drop Danny at school.”
She stared at him for a long moment. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to. And I’ll call you tonight. Maybe the kids can come over to swim again?”
“Maybe,” she said softly.
He winked at her, then turned to Danny. “Come on. If we get there a little early, you can show me your classroom.”
They walked out to Kit’s car, which was parked on the street just down from Roxanne’s house. He unlocked the door for Danny and then made sure he buckled his seat belt. When Kit got inside, he looked over at the boy. “You’ll have to show me how to get there.”
“It’s not too far. I could walk, but my mom doesn’t like me crossing the streets alone. But when I’m bigger, I’m going to walk.”
Kit pulled out into traffic, then steered the car around the block and followed Danny’s directions.
“I’m glad you’re driving me to school.”
“And why is that?”
“When Mom drives me, she always makes me kiss her goodbye and everyone watches.”
Kit smiled. Funny how he had a completely different attitude about Roxanne’s kisses. As far as he was concerned, she could kiss him whenever and wherever. “She loves you. I’d say you were a pretty lucky guy to have such a great mom. She takes very good care of you.”
Danny shrugged. “I guess. But she’s gotta stop kissing me all the time.”
“Would you like me to have a little talk with her? I could suggest that she saves the kisses for when no one else is around.”
A smile brightened his face. “Would you? That would be really, really good,” Danny said. “I’m afraid if I say something she might cry.”
“Does she cry a lot?”
“She used to. She said it’s because my dad went away.”
“And how do you feel about that?”
Danny considered his answer for a long moment. “I don’t remember him much. He left when I was four. And now I’m six.”
“You handle things pretty well around the house. You take good care of your brother and sisters.”
“They’re a big pain,” Danny said.
“Yeah, but they’re your brother and sisters and that counts for something.”
“I guess.” Danny looked over at Kit, a frown on his face. “Do you like my mom?”
The question was asked as if it was the most logical course of conversation and it took Kit by surprise. “Yeah. I guess I do. No, I do. I really like her a lot.”
“There’s a girl in my class who likes me,” he said. “She keeps saying we’re gonna get married, but I tell her that I don’t like her. I’m never gonna like girls.”
“You say that now, but I think you’ll change your mind. Girls can be pretty neat. I mean, hanging out with the guys is all right. But girls are different. They’re really nice.”
Danny made a face. “They always wanna kiss me. Yuck.”
“Well, that’s not so bad, either-when you’re older.”
“You kissed my mom,” he said. “I saw you.”
Kit chuckled. “You did.”
“My mom likes you, too. I can tell. She’s always smiling at you.”
“I like it when she smiles,” Kit said.
“Yeah,” Danny said. “Me, too.”
“A ND AFTER THE KIDSwent to bed we sat on the couch, with all the lights off, and we just kissed…and kissed…and kissed. It made me feel so young. As if he was my first boyfriend.” Roxanne pressed her hands to her warm cheeks, trying to hide the blush that she knew was there. “We do everything, but…you know. It’s so hard not to go any further.”
“Yeah,” Renee said. “Because he’s too embarrassed to buy condoms from the drugstore and you’re afraid that all your high school friends will think you’re easy. Geez, Rox, you’re grown-ups. You can have sex if you want.”
“No, we can’t. The kids are always upstairs. I couldn’t possibly let things get out of control. Besides, it’s only been a month.” Roxanne sighed, still remembering the feel of his hands on her skin, the sensation of his palm cupping her breast. With each evening they spent together, they took another step toward the inevitable.
Her life was a routine again, but this was a routine that Roxanne had come to crave. Over the past month, she’d settled into her job at the station, working Tuesdays and Thursdays. While she was gone for the day, an elderly lady from the neighborhood watched the children. Most evenings, Kit would come over for dinner or she’d take the kids to his house and they’d swim. On the occasional night he was out of town on business, she found herself at a loss, reaching for the phone to call him for the silliest little things and unable to sleep until he called her to say good-night.
“Why don’t you ask that sitter you hired to stay late some day? You and Kit could go out on a real date.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready for that,” Roxanne murmured. “You know what really scares me?”
“That when he’s got you in the bedroom, he’ll recoil in horror at your stretch marks? God, that’s what I’d be afraid of.”
“No!” Roxanne cried, the sudden image searing into her brain. “I-I never even thought about that-until now. Oh God, I’ve had four children. He’s probably only ever slept with single, svelte, non-mothers.” Roxanne pulled up her shirt. “I wonder if I could cover them with makeup.”
“Yeah, and when he’s running his tongue along your belly he gets a mouthful of Cover Girl. That’s romantic.” Renee shrugged. “So what are you afraid of?”
“Everything now,” Roxanne said.
“No, tell me. I promise I won’t open my big mouth again.”
Roxanne paused, hesitant to voice her apprehension. It would sound so stupid. “I’m afraid of it being too good.”
“How can it possibly be too good? Unless, of course, you die of cardiac arrest midorgasm.”
“With John, I was so in love, I didn’t see who he really was. I thought I had found the man of my dreams. The sex was so good. Then we got married and had kids and the passion just seemed to fade away. Then he found someone else.”
“You had sex with John before you got married? You told me you were a virgin until your wedding night.”
“You were my younger sister,” Roxanne said. “What was I supposed to tell you?”
“Does Mom know?”
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