Jill Shalvis - Tangling With Ty

“No!” Nicole softened her voice with effort. Her heart was pounding. Her palms damp. She wanted to start running like hell and never stop. Love? Who’d said anything about love? For God’s sake, couldn’t one lust for someone without the L-word coming into play? “Taylor-”

Taylor just laughed at Nicole’s face. “Oh, sweetie, if you could see your expression. Well, girlfriend, you’ve been too busy for too long, you never learned to slow down and take it all in. Now it’s happened without your permission, hasn’t it? And you haven’t a clue what to do with it. Poor baby.” She grabbed Nicole’s face and gave her a smacking kiss. “Good news, Super Girl. You’re smart, you’ll figure it out.”

Okay, maybe Nicole had only recently realized what she was missing in her life. Maybe she’d only recently understood that life wasn’t all work and no play, but she still hadn’t reconciled it all, she still didn’t know how to get more for herself, or how to…

How to face Ty, the man she’d foolishly thought maybe, possibly, hopefully could be the one.

He wasn’t the one. He wouldn’t ever want to be the one.

And he’d heard her shout how she felt about him. God. Talk about humiliation. “Taylor-”

But they were gone. Leaving her alone with Ty, who was looking at her with an expression she supposed mirrored her own terror. “Well.” She tried to smile. “My day is complete.”

He blew out a breath and looked at her. Really looked at her. “Something else is wrong,” he said.

“Besides you being here?”

“What is it?”

“Nothing,” she muttered, a little cross that he could see through everything and find the lingering unease over the Dr. Watts scene. “It’s just that work sucked and now-”

“Did that asshole try something again?”

She stared at him, a little shocked by his deep tone of instant rage. For her. “Everything is going to be fine in that department.”

“Sure?”

His voice was every bit as low and gravely and sexy as she remembered, and she remembered plenty. “Very.”

He drew another deep breath as if struggling for patience.

She knew the feeling. “So why are you here anyway?” she asked, more than a little defensively, crossing her arms.

“I have a job here.”

“Oh, yeah.” Now she felt just stupid. Of course he had a job here. What did she think, that he’d come to see her? How ridiculous that would be, how-

“I’ll just get to it,” he said, and turned to the door.

Only he slammed it shut while still on the inside, closing them inside the apartment together.

Alone.

TY LOOKED at Nicole, who stood there seeming a little confused.

Good, that made two of them.

“What are you doing?” she asked warily when he came close. “I thought you were going to go do what you had to.”

“I am.” He wrapped his hands around her upper arms and hauled her up to her toes so he could get a good look into the face he couldn’t seem to stop thinking about.

She gasped. “But…I thought you meant work. You had to get to work.”

“Who said anything about work?”

“You- I-”

“There you go stuttering again.” He set her down but didn’t take his hands off her. “I’m beginning to think you only do that around me, and you know what? I like it. But let’s stick to the subject. I want to set the record straight between us.”

“Oh.” Her face cleared of all expression. She was good at that, he’d noticed, but then again, so was he.

“I see,” she said stiffly.

“I doubt it.”

“No, I do. You regret what happened between us.”

“Is that what you think?” He tipped up her face and saw that was exactly what she thought. “Is that why you left my bed?”

“Don’t tell me you wanted to wake up with me.” She pulled her chin free of his fingers. “I saw the look in your eyes before you fell asleep. Panic, pure and simple.”

“What you saw was fleeting.”

“Because you fell asleep.” She closed her eyes.

“And I didn’t blame you for it, so don’t worry. I’m not the kind of woman a man wants to wake up with.”

He swore, then shoved his fingers through his hair and turned in a slow circle, trying to find the words. “Nicole, you’re exactly the kind of woman a man wants to wake up with. You’re smart, and sexy as hell. You’re amazing. But I was lying there, holding you, still shaking like a leaf, damn it, from the most incredible…” He let out a disparaging sound, having no idea how to say it. “Look, what we shared was different. First of all, I’ve never come so hard in my life.”

She blushed, her expression one of surprise.

“But it wasn’t just sex,” he said. “I know that sounds like a line, but it wasn’t. What we shared was a connection, a real one, and yes, damn it, it scared the living daylights out of me.”

She was very still. “Go on.”

Go on. Hell. He licked his suddenly dry lips. “I felt closer to you than I have to anyone. Ever.”

The fist around her heart, the one that had been there since she’d first set eyes on him, loosened slightly. “Really?”

“I felt like you knew me.”

A warmth spread through her. “I did. I do. Ty, I do.”

“No.” Now he closed his eyes. “You don’t understand.” He turned away, his shoulders stiff. “I came from nothing, Nicole. I was nothing.”

“No, never that.” Her heart ached that he pictured himself that way.

“You have no idea some of the things I did to survive.”

“No one would ever blame the child you were,” she said fiercely. “No one. And you shouldn’t either.”

“I know.” Misery radiated off him, so that she was propelled forward, propelled to put her hand on his back. His muscles leapt at her touch.

“But I’m still that boy deep inside,” he admitted. “I’m still that wanderer. I still feel that need to keep moving. I…I started to feel that need again.”

Now her heart all but stopped as he turned back to look at her.

“You…you’re moving on?” she asked.

“I’ve thought about it. Then I heard from my sister and I really thought about it.” There was nothing but truth in his eyes, the man who’d taught her the one thing no one else had ever managed, how to live outside the box. He was strong and smart and made her smile. He was passionate about work, about life, about everything in between. And unlike anyone before him, he made her feel the same way back.

“It’d be so easy,” he said. “Easy to pick up and go start over.” He lifted a shoulder. “New York sounded good.”

“Yeah.” She cleared her throat because it was so thick. He’d thought about leaving, walking away. “Ty…” Don’t. Don’t go.

Reaching out, he ran his fingers over her jaw. Slid them down her throat and cupped the back of her head, tugging her a step closer. Mouth close to hers, his turned down in a grim, unbearably sad smile, he said, “But then I met you.”

He still looked so utterly intent on going that there was no logical reason why hope suddenly burned through her bright as the sun. “And…?”

“And…for the first time I wanted someone to know about me, know my past. Accept it. We know we’re different, Nicole. That I-”

She stopped him with her mouth on his. She knew his past shamed him. Just as she knew the man he really was, a man with a heart and soul dying for acceptance and love, just like anyone else. He could hold people off with his easy charm and laid-back attitude, but he couldn’t hold her off, not for another second.

He tried. Despite her mouth clinging to his, despite her arms wound around his neck, he hadn’t touched her, not yet, so she pulled back and held his face in her hands. “Please want me, too, Ty, if only half as much as I want you.”