Jill Shalvis - Just Try Me…

“Please don’t drag this out,” she whispered, suddenly unable to talk past the lump the size of a river rock stuck in her throat. “We knew each other for four days. The end.”

“Do you believe in chance, Lily?”

“Jared-”

“Do you?”

“Yes. Damn it, you know I do.”

“I came here on a chance, because of a list.” He pulled the folded paper out of his pocket to remind her. “Things happen, Lily. We happened.”

“I didn’t plan on this.”

“And a year ago I thought my life was all planned out, too. Go with the flow, Lily.”

“Jared…”

“Look, life isn’t set, Lily. And you know what? I’m thinking that it isn’t supposed to be. There’s no topo map, and I’m starting to see that’s the amazement of the whole thing. Nothing’s set. You adjust for the things that come up: jobs, adventures. Cancer.” He stepped closer. “Love.”

Oh, God.

He laughed softly, utterly without mirth, and unfolded his list. “But none of that matters when it’s not meant to be.” Reaching into his car, he grabbed a pen, then crossed off One, take a guided trek in the mountains. “There.” He slipped the paper back into his pocket. Looking at her again, he touched her jaw. “Thanks for an unforgettable four days, Lily. I won’t forget you, either.”

And then he got into his car, and without a backwards glance, drove off into the sunset.

She stared at the dust that rose from his tires. She’d gotten what she wanted.

So why didn’t it seem like it?

JARED WENT BACK to work, with some qualms. Once work had been how he defined himself, but he refused to let it come to that ever again. Work was work, not his life.

Knowing that, he was careful to jump back in slowly, forcing himself to leave the office by five o’clock so that he could still have a social life. That his social life consisted mostly of his family was something Candace bitched about, but he held firm. But then, after three weeks, he gave into his assistant’s nagging and went on a blind date.

The woman was lovely and smart and attractive, but not Lily, and he figured it out-he wasn’t ready. Instead he decided to knock something else off his list-a sail through the Greek Islands. He was leaving the following week, and had a shitload of work to do before then.

Candace poked her head into his office. “Hey. Someone’s here to see you.”

He pushed up his glasses and looked at his schedule. No meetings. “Who?”

She lifted a shoulder. “Don’t know, but I’m leaving for lunch.”

He took a glance at the clock on his office wall. “It’s ten o’clock.”

“Yeah, but my stomach says it’s Micky D time. What’s your order? Oh, wait, you’re giving up Micky D to eat more fish.” She grinned. “Sorry, boss. Be back in an hour.”

“An hour?” But she was already gone, and he was talking to himself. He had no idea who was waiting to see him, maybe his mother, or any one of his sisters, all of whom had taken to stopping by at least weekly just to look at him.

It’d been comforting. At first. But ever since he’d gotten back from the Sierras, a truly life-altering event, when they’d taken one look at him and known something had happened to him, it was no longer comforting at all. They wanted to know what was wrong, what had happened to him out there, and he hadn’t been able to talk about it yet, to tell them the truth.

Once, his body had failed him, but he’d managed a comeback. His heart had been left untouched.

Not this time. Now he was trying to heal that in the same manner he had his body, with sheer will.

So why did he still feel as if he was holding on by a damn string?

Three weeks…

Get over it, Skye, it’s past time to get over it. He stood up, but before he could walk around his desk, another head poked in his office. Not Candace, coming back to bug him about a lunch order. Not his mother, or any of his four sisters.

Lily.

She smiled a little shakily, clearly unsure of her welcome. “Hi.”

Flummoxed, he just stood there.

“Um, is it a bad time?”

Well that depended on whether she minded watching him try like hell to find his tongue. She wore a gauzy sundress that showed off her tanned shoulders and toned arms. It hugged her breasts, flared out at her hips, and revealed the legs he’d loved having wrapped around him more than anything else in the world.

“I probably should have called.” Biting her lower lip, she came all the way into his office. “But I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me.”

Was she kidding? He couldn’t tear his eyes off her. Hell, yeah, he wanted to see her. He wanted never to stop seeing her.

She shot him a smile that he realized with a shock was filled with nerves. She clasped her hands. “I missed you.”

Yeah, probably he should have his hearing checked. Because it sounded like she’d said she missed him…

“I know that sounds ridiculous, given how it all ended so badly, but…” Spreading her hands out, she stared down at them, then lifted her head, her eyes glittering with emotion, fierce, stark emotion. “I can’t stop thinking about you, Jared. About the odds you’ve overcome, how you had to go through such trauma just to get the kick in the ass you needed to really live your life. See, I want to live my life, too. Without shielding myself or my heart.” She nodded, determined. “I’m not going to do that anymore.”

For the first time in three weeks, the fist that had gripped Jared’s heart loosened enough for him to breathe, really breathe.

“So maybe,” she said. “You’d like to spend some time with me? We could start small, like a date…If you’re free. Maybe this weekend…or next if you’re busy.”

He was free. So damn free.

“I really wish you’d say something,” she whispered, clasping her fingers together. “Anything.”

“Sorry.” He found his legs and came around his desk as a fierce exhilaration and overwhelming joy flowed through his veins. “It’s just that I can’t go out with you next week, I’m leaving for a sail through the Greek Islands.”

“Oh,” she said in a very small voice.

“But seeing as I missed you, too, so goddamned much, maybe you could stand to take the trip with me?”

She let out a choked laugh that was part sob, and covered her mouth with a shaking hand.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you either,” he said, finally able to get it together to talk. “Not for one single second of a single minute since I drove off that mountain without you.” He came to a stop right before her and took her hands. “Now you.”

“I can barely breathe, much less speak.” She entwined their fingers. “I should tell you right here and now, before I kiss you and forget everything else including my name, that I’ve been thinking about some stuff.”

“Me stuff?”

“Yeah, you stuff.” She swallowed hard. “The seeing-you stuff. Seeing you a lot.” She smiled, and stole his heart all over again. “Look, we both know I’ve always walked away. It’s what I do.”

He shook his head. “I had no right to judge you.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m tired of starting over, Jared. I don’t want a good-bye this time, or an ending. I want…us. You said you loved me,” she said. “I thought it was too much too soon, but someone once told me these things can happen in a second.” Her eyes filled. “A year. There’s no set time.” She smiled shakily. “It took me four days and three weeks, but I love you back, Jared.”

It was possible his heart was stuck in his throat, because when he opened his mouth nothing came out of it.

“Oh, God, we’re back to that you-not-talking thing again.” She drew a trembly breath. “Okay. It’s all right if you’re not ready to do this. I got that.”