Bertrice Small - Beloved

"Am I so intolerant then?" she asked, troubled.

"Only of those you love," he said, a hint of amusement in his voice, then he drew her into his arms.

It was better between Zenobia and Odenathus then, but the relationship that they had once had was gone forever. Perhaps if they had had the time they might have regained it, but there was no time. Palmyra's king moved to annex Syria, Palestine, Mesopotamia, and eastern Asia Minor, finally breaking the back of the Persian ruler. King Shapur retreated a final time over his own borders, never to return.

In Palmyra Zenobia ruled wisely in her husband's frequent absences. Driving her golden chariot around the city, she became a familiar sight to her people. In an unruly world Palmyra was a safe haven of green in the middle of a sandy sea. Each day Zenobia drilled her own troops, a special guard that had been formed in addition to her own camel corps.

At first the young men recruited for her guard would not believe that a woman could lead a command. At their first meeting, Zenobia quickly disabused them of that notion, fighting the largest of their group and beating him soundly with her broadsword. She could throw a spear farther than any of them, and she taught them to use a bow and arrow while moving at a full gallop. They were quickly devoted to her, for she was patient with their errors and generous with her praise. The queen's guard would have died for her, and on one of his rare visits home Odenathus teased her about it, wondering if he should be jealous of all those strong young men who were so loyal to his wife.

Marcus Britainus waited for he knew not what. Zenobia had never mentioned or even vaguely referred to the incident in the desert when they had both come so close to indiscretion. When they had returned to Palmyra that day he had sought out the beautiful courtesan, Sadira, and used her almost savagely.

"It is obvious that you love a woman you cannot have, Marcus Alexander," Sadira had said, "but I cannot suffer each time you visit me because I am not that woman. Do not return to me unless you exorcise the devils within you."

Marcus might have bought himself a beautiful slave girl in Palmyra's famous slave markets, but he wanted no woman if he could not have Zenobia. Often his thoughts were black, but these thoughts he kept to himself. Sometimes in the night he would awaken and wonder what would happen if Odenathus were killed in battle. Then he would despise himself for having fallen so low in his desperate love for Zenobia that he wished the king, his friend, dead. With an eye to marriage, he made a serious effort to look over the available women within his class, but no one captured his heart. He reconciled himself to bachelorhood.

He saw Zenobia frequently, for from the beginning he had always been included in her social life. He and Longinus were her frequent escorts whenever Odenathus was away. They would stand on either side of her at the games, or at the theater, or amuse her with witty conversation at dull state dinners. It was not a great deal, he thought, somewhat sadly, but at least he was with her. Despite his family's constant pleas from Rome, he could not marry. True, most marriages were things of convenience, but Marcus Alexander Britainus would not marry without love. And there would never be anyone for him but Zenobia of Palmyra, wife to Odenathus.

The Persians were finally beaten, and Odenathus would at last be home for good, barring another war. Palmyra had never been so prosperous, so strong, so invincible. It had a warrior king, a wise and beautiful queen, and two healthy princes, Vaballathus who would soon be twelve, and his younger brother, Demetrius, now almost eleven. There was great celebration in honor of the royal family.

The city was filled to overflowing with dignitaries from as far east as Cathay and the lands beyond the Indus River. There wasn't a family whose house didn't accommodate relatives and other guests. Antonius Porcius and his wife, Julia, were playing hosts to Rufus Curius, Deliciae, and their children. In addition to Linos and Vermis, they had produced six children in the ten years of their marriage.

Julia and Deliciae had both become plump with age. Both were dedicated wives and mothers. The pampered daughter of one of Palmyra's most distinguished families and the former concubine of nameless parentage found that they had a great deal in common, and were fast friends.

Rufus Curius had been a good foster father to Deliciae's two oldest sons. He had never favored his own sons over them, offering equal love and equal discipline to all the children in his family. Unfortunately, Al-Zena had rooted the bitter seed of discontent deep within their hearts, and although they outwardly seemed to adjust to their new life, Linos and Vermis never forgot that they were Odenathus's older sons. Intelligent, they eagerly learned the arts of warfare from their foster father, and it was expected that they would join the army when they returned to Qasr-al-Hêr.

The Palmyran celebration was to last six days, with all entertainments free and open to everyone. Food and drink were available to all, courtesy of the royal council. Certain prisoners were released in honor of the king's victory over the Persians. Others would have the opportunity to win their freedom in gladitorial combat in the great Palmyran amphitheater.

The games held in Palmyra were probably the most humane in the entire empire. The Palmyrans did not have the lust for blood that the citizens of Rome did. The gladitorial combat was therefore with blunt weapons, and a man put down by his opponent was subject to the crowd's judgment. A thumb turned upward meant he was allowed to get up and continue; a downward thumb meant the contest was immediately awarded to his opponent. Unlike Rome, Palmyra did not allow man and animal to fight; nor did women battle dwarfs.

Palmyra's open-air theater, which dated from before the Roman occupation, was offering comedies each morning, and its ten thousand seats were always filled. There were no women performers, young boys whose voices were still high played the female parts. Zenobia in particular enjoyed the earthy, ribald humor.

Each night after the celebrations, the rulers of Palmyra held a banquet to which the rich and famous were invited; but on the final day their banquet was limited to their family and close friends. It was not as elaborate a meal as the previous nights, beginning with silver platters of boiled, peeled eggs with a piquant dipping sauce, artichokes in wine vinegar and olive oil, thin slices of onion, and salted fish. The second course offered baby lamb garnished with tiny onions which had been roasted with it and sprinkled with fresh mint, antelope with asparagus and beets, an enormous haunch of beef, chickens roasted with lemon sauce, bowls of beans, peas, and cabbage, platters of cucumbers, lettuce, carrots, and radishes, black and green olives in glass bowls, and round loaves of fine white bread. Mulsum, a drink made of four parts wine and one part honey, was drunk with the first course, and meal wine, a mixture of water and wine, was served with the second course because straight wine was considered harmful to the stomach until it had been well filled.

The last course offered fresh fruits: peaches, apricots, green and red grapes, pomegranates, cherries, oranges, figs, and plums. There were honey cakes rolled in poppy or sesame seeds, in chopped almonds or pistachios. There were large dates stuffed with walnuts, and at last the goblets were filled with rich and heady dark red wine. There was entertainments with the final course; a jongleur who delighted the children by being able to handle six oranges at one time; and a clever elderly man from Cathay with a troupe of dancing dogs. The older boys enjoyed the acrobats, the gentlemen the dancing girls from Egypt.