Bertrice Small - Beloved

A faint scratching at the door caught her attention, and she called, "Come in."

"I thought you might be lonely," Deliciae said, entering the room.

"I am glad for your company," Zenobia answered, although nothing was further from the truth. She had been enjoying her solitude.

"The council met almost the entire day-you must be exhausted."

"I thrive on hard work, Deliciae. Idleness is anathema to me."

"Is it true that you removed Publius Cato from the council? The city is abuzz with rumors."

"Already?" She was amused. "Publius Cato made an error in judgment when he attempted to use the government to pursue a personal grudge."

"Al-Zena says women do not belong in government."

"Al-Zena would quickly change her mind if Odenathus had left her as regent instead of me," Zenobia laughed. "Let us not speak of her, though, Deliciae. Instead, tell me how you spent your day."

"In idleness, Zenobia. The very idleness you so abhor. I spent most of my time beautifying myself, although for what or whom I do not know. I spent an hour with my sons, but alas, they are at an appalling age and speak only of weapons and horses."

"Are you happy, Deliciae?"

"No, but then what is there for me? I am Odenathus's concubine, although he has not used me as such in five years. I am the mother of sons who no longer need me. I have not the mind of weighty matters, as do you. I am as nothing."

"What do you want then?" Zenobia asked.

"If I tell you will you keep it a secret? I cannot have what I desire, but I can dream."

"I will keep it secret."

"I want a husband, Zenobia. Being a wife and a mother is what I am best suited for in this life. I know it is not possible, but still I dream."

"Why is it not possible? You have been beloved of a king, and should that king decide to reward your devotion by giving you to some worthy man as a wife, who is to tell him nay? If you wish it I will speak to Odenathus myself when he returns. You are still young enough to have more children."

"You would do that for me?" Deliciae's hopeful face brought Zenobia close to tears.

What a fool I have been! she thought. I have been so wrapped up in my own happiness that I did not see how miserable poor Deliciae has been. I shall never be a worthy queen if I can only speak of the people's needs, but do not see to them. "I will speak to the king, Deliciae, but once I have then you must be honest with him. I do not believe that you ever loved each other, but you have been friends. When I have paved the way for you, speak openly to Odenathus of your feelings."

"I am not sure I can, Zenobia."

"You must, Deliciae. In the end only you can gain your own happiness."

"What will happen to my sons if I leave the palace?"

"I do not know, Deliciae. However, I believe it would be best if they went with you rather than remain at the palace. They are as yet young, and need their mother." While they live here in the palace, thought Zenobia, Deliciae's sons are made to feel like royal princes, which they most certainly are not, and they also are old enough to be troublesome should anything happen to Odenathus. Indeed, for everyone's sake, Linos and Vermis would be better off elsewhere. She focused upon Deliciae again. "I will see that you are not separated from your sons, Deliciae. I could not bear it if I were separated from mine, and I understand a mother's feelings."

Deliciae fell to her knees and kissed the hem of Zenobia's gown. Her blue eyes were wet with tears. "Thank you, Majesty! Thank you!"

"Do not thank me yet, Deliciae. We have yet to speak to the king."

"He will listen to you," Deliciae said. "I know he will!"

"Come now," Zenobia said. "Join me for the evening meal. I must retire early, for tomorrow my friend, Julia Tullio, is to be married, and I have been invited for the augurs at dawn."

The next morning Zenobia wore a queenly flame-colored stola cinched with a wide gold belt inlaid with rubies and pearls. About her throat was a magnificent necklace of hundreds of small pearls and rubies that dangled from cobweb thin gold wires and glittered upon the pale-gold skin of her chest. Great barbaric ruby ovals hung from her ears. On her upper right arm was a golden snake with ruby eyes, and beneath it were a carved gold bangle and a smooth bangle of pink coral. On her left arm were three gold-wire bracelets, two studded with freshwater pearls flanking one encrusted with small rubies. Her slender fingers were dressed with but three rings, her wedding band, a great pink pearl, and a square-cut pink sapphire.

Zenobia's heavy black hair was parted in the center, and wound into a thick coil at the base of her neck. An exquisitely wrought diadem of filigreed gold vines and pink-sapphire flowers was set upon her head. On her feet she wore gilt leather sandals. Looking at herself in the polished-silver mirror held up by a slave, she was surprised at how regal she looked. Of course, she thought, my height is finally proving an advantage.

Longinus, shivering in the predawn cold, but elegant in a finely spun long, white wool tunic and a purple-bordered toga trabea of white and red stripes, awaited her in the courtyard of the palace. His gray hair was beautifully curled and smelled of a fragrant pomade. Giving her a wan smile, he helped her into the litter, and climbed in to seat himself opposite her. The slaves lifted them and moved off and out through the palace gate.

"If you are not too cold, Longinus, I should prefer to leave the curtains open. The sky before dawn is particularly lovely."

He sighed, and nodded as he huddled down into the pillows.

She smiled to herself, and for a few minutes they rode in silence, Zenobia watching the starry sky, now beginning to lighten faintly at theedgesofthehorizon. "Name me an unmarried man of good family whom we might wish to honor," she said.

Her question brought instant interest in Longinus's brown eyes. He sat up, and she could see his subtle brain mulling over the matter while at the same time wondering what she was up to this time. Finally he said, "The man who comes to mind is Rufus Acilius Curius. His father was a Roman centurion who married the daughter of a wealthy Palmyran merchant about thirty years ago. I remember it because it caused a great scandal. The family was at that time untainted by Roman blood, and the father a fanatic on the subject, but the girl got pregnant by her lover, and there was no choice but to marry. The centurion, however, proved a good husband, and when he retired from the army settled here in Palmyra. Rufus Curius is the third son, and he chose to make the army his career. He is the first Palmyran-borh commander of Qasr-al-Hêr. He's very loyal to Odenathus."

"Qasr-al-Hêr? The border fortress?"

"Yes."

"The gods! It is perfect! You are sure he has no wife? What of a betrothal? A mistress?"

"None that I have heard."

"Find out for certain, Longinus. I must know immediately!"

"Why?" No one else would have dared to ask the question, but Zenobia was not offended by Longinus. He had become her close confidant.

"Deliciae is Odenathus's concubine in name only. She is unhappy, Longinus. Odenathus does not need her. Frankly, she bores him, but he would not dismiss her, for she and her sons would suffer great shame if he did. She longs to be a wife, and to have other children. I have promised her that I would speak to Odenathus. She is young enough to begin a new life. I thought if he gave her in marriage to someone he wished to honor, it would solve the problem."

"Yes," Longinus mused, "and now that you tell me what you want to do I can tell you that Rufus Curius is indeed the right man. I expect you want her sons to go with her, and Rufus Curius would be an excellent foster father for them. He will see they grow up to be loyal citizens and honest men." He gave her a wicked look. "I know that your intentions toward the lady Deliciae are good ones, but I cannot help but think you will not be sorry to see Linos and Vermis go."