Rachel Gibson - Any Man of Mine

“And you can’t expect me not to.”

Something happened between the time he left last night and now. What it was didn’t matter. “I’m not going to hurt you, Autumn. I promise.”

“You can’t make that promise.”

He held out a hand. “Honey, just trust me.”

She shook her head. “I don’t know if I can.”

“This is about Vegas.” He dropped his hand. “Still.”

“It happened, Sam.”

“You’re right. It did, but we were different people then.” He pointed to himself. “I was different. I’m not asking you to forget what happened. I don’t believe that’s even possible for either of us. But if you can’t get past it, then how can we move forward with our lives?” How could they make a life together? Something he wanted as badly as he’d ever wanted anything in his life. More than winning the Stanley Cup, he wanted to win his family.

She shook her head, and the pain in her eyes tore at his heart even as it pissed him off. “I don’t know.” She picked up her tote and headed toward the door. “I have to go.”

Sam watched Autumn leave, and it was one of the hardest things he’d ever forced himself to do. Over the sound of Conner’s movie, he heard the garage door shut down the hall. He loved her. He wanted a life with her. But he didn’t know if it was going to happen, and he didn’t know what to do.

He moved up the stairs, past Conner lying on the couch with a remote in one hand. “Can you turn down that TV?” he asked as he moved into the kitchen

The sound faded, and he opened the refrigerator. “Thank you.” All of his life, he’d fought hard for everything. He’d fought and, most of the time, he’d eventually won. He was dogged that way, but he wasn’t so sure he could win Autumn. She was an immovable force. Stubborn as hell, and he didn’t know if he had enough fight left in him to change her mind.

He took out a bottle of water and twisted off the top. The telephone hooked to the wall rang until it went to voice mail. Maybe he should just walk away. He wanted a future with her, but maybe there was too much damage for her to ever get over it. Maybe he should just get out now before he sank himself even further. Until he choked and went under completely.

The telephone immediately rang again. He was angry. If he was a violent man, he’d go kick the living shit out of someone. If he hadn’t just returned from the injured list, he might ram his head through the wall. The telephone kept ringing, a nagging annoyance snapping his control. He walked across the floor and glanced at the caller identification. Normally, he would have just picked up the receiver and slammed it back down.

Instead he picked up. “Hello?”

“You have a collect call,” the automated voice said, “from… Vince … an inmate at Clark County Jail. Will you accept the charges?”

Any Man of Mine:

Shocks Me with Random Kindness

“Do you think bailing me out is going to win points with my sister?”

Sam looked across his truck at Vince and the shiner closing one eye and the knot on his forehead. He didn’t think there was anything that was going to win points with Autumn. She was a hardheaded woman with an immovable heart. “I’m not going to tell Autumn. She doesn’t need to worry about you.”

“I’ll pay you back.”

Sam slowed and stopped at a red light. “I know you will.”

Vince had been charged with assault. Apparently, he’d kicked some ass in a biker bar. Sam didn’t hold kicking a little ass against a guy, but he didn’t like Vince any more than Vince liked him. “It probably wasn’t wise to take on a whole bar.”

Vince grunted. “Says the guy who takes on a bunch of hockey players almost every night.”

“That’s different. That’s my job. I don’t fight for free.” Not anymore. The light changed, and he stepped on the gas. “I have a really good lawyer. I’ll give you his card.”

“I don’t want your help.”

“I know, but you’re going to take it.” He was tired. Tired of fighting the past. There was no way to win with Autumn. He was probably better off knowing that before rather than later. Before he bought a big ring and made a fool out of himself. “I don’t want you upsetting her with your bullshit.”

“Me? Oh that’s rich. You’re the one who knocked her up and left her in a hotel.”

He looked across at the former Navy SEAL. At the man people thought was a hero. “We all know what happened six years ago. Autumn and I are working past it,” he lied.

Vince laughed. “You sure Autumn is working to get past it? I know my sister. She’s a Haven. Forgive and forget is not in our vocabulary.”

Yeah. He’d figured that out on his own. Received the message pretty clear. “Tell me something, frogman. Have you ever done something you regret so much that the guilt stays with you for years? Maybe the rest of your life?”

Vince was silent for several long moments, then said, “Once or twice.”

As much as he really hated to admit it, in that moment he saw a bit of himself in Vince. “I regret what I did to Autumn, and I’ve been trying like hell to make it up to her.” He slowed and took an exit to Kent.

“Huh.” Vince took a pair of aviator sunglasses out of his breast pocket and slid them onto his swollen face. “How’s that working out so far?”

Not so well. After that morning, he wasn’t so sure it would. He’d told her he’d never hurt her again, and she’d hadn’t believed him. Hadn’t trusted him and the more he thought about it, the more it pissed him off.

“I guess I should thank you for bailing me out,” Vince said, as if the mere words caused him added pain.

It was Sam’s turn to grunt. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

Vince crossed his arms over his chest. “And don’t go thinking this makes us square. I’m still going to kick your ass someday.”

Sam smiled. “You’re gonna try and kick my ass someday. You might know a hundred ways to kill a man, but I know a hundred ways to make a man wish he were dead.”

Vince chuckled. “If it weren’t for you being a colossal dickweed, I might actually like you.”

Sam didn’t call. He didn’t call the night before he left town, nor for the next two days. Finally, on the third day, he called and asked for Conner. Just the sound of his voice lifted Autumn’s heart even as it plunged to her stomach. She could hardly breathe past the pleasurable ache. When he was through talking with his son, he hung up. Clearly, he didn’t want to talk to her that day. Nor the day after, when he called and only spoke with his son.

It was for the best, she told herself. Best for Conner and her. The backs of her eyes stung, and she could not hold back the tears that splashed down her cheeks. She’d never thought the heart she’d carefully pieced back together could break even more, but it did. She was miserable and didn’t know what to do.

Just after noon, Vince pulled his big black truck into the parking space outside her office window. She wasn’t in the mood to see her brother, but maybe he’d take her to lunch and help take her mind off her troubles. Maybe he had a really great Christmas present for her that would cheer her up.

“Wow. You look like shit,” he said as he walked into her office.

Autumn blew her nose. “Thanks.” She pointed to his black eye. “So do you. What happened?”

Of course he didn’t answer. “Why are you crying?”

She shook her head. If he could keep a secret, so could she. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Normally, he would have pressed and worn her down until she told him. Instead, he asked, “Is Sam in town?”