Miranda Lee - Contract with Consequences

A light suddenly came on in the King house. John had no idea if it was Scarlet’s bedroom or not. But he suspected it was. She was sleepless, just like him.

Another memory suddenly popped into his head-that of his taking her arm when they’d left his parents’ party together. Scarlet hadn’t pulled away from him then. Hadn’t found his touch in any way repulsive. Then there’d been the way she’d looked at him when she’d first driven up to Gosford station earlier that day. That hadn’t been the look of a woman who found him unattractive.

Maybe he was reading this situation all wrong. Maybe there was something else bothering Scarlet. Maybe she had been tossing and turning in her bed over there, wishing now that she hadn’t rejected his offer. Because in truth it had been a good offer, far better than her having some stranger’s child. He still didn’t fancy that idea one little bit.

It suddenly occurred to John that Scarlet might eventually reconsider his offer. He suspected, however, that she would not come to such a decision lightly, or in the immediate future. To hang around home, hoping for her to change her mind, was not a bearable thought. Despite his recent discovery that he still loved his father, John still found being around him difficult. He couldn’t even escape by going surfing; the doctors said such activities were out of the question till his leg was stronger. He’d already told his mother when he arrived home that he was booked on a flight tomorrow evening, letting her think he was returning to Brazil, whereas in fact he was going to Darwin. She’d been disappointed by his early departure, but resigned.

Would Scarlet be disappointed by his early departure? he wondered. Or relieved.

He could hardly ask her now.

Another thought came to him. What if she did change her mind about his offer? She would need to know how to contact him, without having to ask his mother. No way would Scarlet do that. He knew her. She was like him in some ways-overly proud. And too independent for her own good.

Turning from the window, he made his way downstairs where everything was quiet; his parents had gone to bed some time ago. Switching on the kitchen light, he went to the drawer where his mother kept an assortment of biros, writing pads and different-sized envelopes. Selecting what he wanted, he returned to his room, switched on his bedside lamp and sat down to write. It took him several attempts before he got the wording just right but eventually he was satisfied.

Dear Scarlet.

By the time you read this I will have left. Not Australia, as my family believe. I have an apartment in Darwin where I go every winter for a few weeks’ rest and recreation. This time, however, I intend to stay longer, though please keep this information confidential. Scarlet, I presume you are determined to keep trying for a baby by your anonymous donor. And that is your right. But if it is not successful, I wish you to know that my offer is still open. I can’t promise you romance but I do promise you what I think you need very badly. Here are my mobile and satellite phone numbers so that you can contact me no matter where I am.

Your friend always, John.

He added the numbers then slipped the note into an envelope and wrote Scarlet’s name on the front, having already decided to drop the letter into her mailbox tomorrow whilst she was at work.

By the time she got home he would be long gone.

Then it would be up to her.

Exactly one month and one day later

IT HADN’T worked. Again.

Despair clutched at Scarlet’s already cramping stomach as she hunched over the toilet seat. There had to be something wrong with her. Because it didn’t make sense. The clinic had tried a different procedure this time, putting the sperm right into her womb instead of just on the cervix. It was a more expensive procedure but was supposed to give her a better chance of conceiving.

A total waste of money as it turned out.

She dreaded telling her mother. Yet, she would have to. Scarlet wished now that she hadn’t confided her plan in the first place. She should have just gone to the clinic on her own, in secret. That way, she could have handled her disappointment in private, without the added pain of watching her mother’s disappointment. Her mum sometimes pretended that she didn’t mind not having grandchildren but Scarlet knew that wasn’t the case. She’d often said how she’d wanted to have a bigger family herself.

Scarlet frowned at this last thought. If her mother had wanted more than one child, then why hadn’t she had some more? Scarlet’s Dad hadn’t died till she was nine. Scarlet sucked in sharply at the possibility that her mother had been unable to conceive more babies. But if that were so, then why hadn’t she mentioned it to her? It might be an important clue over why she was having such trouble conceiving herself.

Not that she could go out and ask her right now. They were both at the salon, working. Wednesday was always a busy day. It would be impossible to question her till they were on the way home late this afternoon.

Janet knew, the moment she saw Scarlet’s pasty face and dull eyes, that her period had arrived. The poor darling, she thought sadly as she watched her daughter put on a smiling face for a client.

‘You know, don’t you, Mum?’ Scarlet said the moment they were alone in the car on the way home. She’d seen the sympathy in her mother’s eyes when she’d come out of the powder room a couple of hours earlier. The sympathy and the sadness.

‘Yes,’ was all Janet could bring herself to say. She was close to tears. Not for herself but for her daughter.

‘Mum, I’ve been thinking, was there any physical reason why you didn’t have more children?’

Janet swallowed. She’d been expecting this question for ages.

‘Not that I know of,’ she answered truthfully. ‘I was thoroughly checked out, the same way you’ve been. One doctor said I wanted to fall pregnant too much. He said stress and tension can sometimes be the problem.’

‘Yes, I’ve read about that,’ Scarlet said. ‘That’s why couples sometimes fall pregnant after they’ve adopted a child.’

‘Your father and I were going to adopt a child,’ Janet confessed. ‘But then he was…’ She broke off, unable to continue.

‘Oh, Mum. I’m so sorry. I know how much you loved Dad.’ After the funeral, she’d listened to her mother cry at night for months and months. It never surprised Scarlet that her mother hadn’t ever dated again, or remarried. She’d been a one-man woman.

Scarlet knew she’d never find that one true love like her mother had. But she was going to become a mother, come hell or high water. All afternoon, she’d been thinking about the letter John had left for her a month ago. When she’d first read it, she’d been incredibly touched, especially with his intuitive observations about her fragile nervous state. She’d almost changed her mind about going back to the clinic and rung him straight away. But, in the end, she simply hadn’t had the courage to take what would have been a really big step for her. It seemed so much simpler not to involve other people, and to not face the problem of actually having sex with John. Scarlet understood that sex for men was not the big deal it could be for women. For her, anyway. She’d become more edgy about it as she’d got older. Less confident. More… nervous.

But the time for being Nervous Nelly was long gone. If she didn’t take John up on his offer she would always regret it.

Of course, he might have changed his mind by now. God, she hoped not!

Well, if he had, she’d just have to persuade him otherwise, Scarlet vowed with renewed resolve. If he waffled, she’d remind him how much he’d always wanted to have sex with her!