Jodi Thomas - Texan's Touch

She stood and checked her Colt’s strap. “That’s right,” she said, wishing his words hadn’t sounded so hard. How could something she’d always been proud of sound so wrong when he voiced it?

Adam stared at her, wanting to scream that she’d learned to be everything but a woman, and all he wanted, needed, was that woman somewhere inside her to be his woman… his love… his other half. But he couldn’t hurt her, no matter how angry he was, by voicing his thoughts.

“We caught the two shooters just after you left.” He broke the silence between them. “Thanks to one talking, we rounded up the third outlaw. He wasn’t hard to identify with a cut across his throat.”

There was so much more he wanted to say, but he stayed with the facts. “Wes and I stood guard over all three until the sheriff arrived yesterday. The sheriff thinks Mole and the deputy might be involved somehow, but he can’t prove it, so he’s having both of them watched.

“I guess there’s no reason for you to stay here with Daniel. Fort Worth will be safe.” Adam stood, but turned away from her as he added, “Wolf wired that he’s on his way, so by the time we get back there’ll be no reason for you to stay in Texas.”

Adam watched her out of the corner of his gaze. “Wolf didn’t say your fiancé, Tyler, was coming with him.”

Nichole lifted her chin. “Tyler wasn’t my fiancé. I just didn’t want you to think nobody wanted me.”

“I see.” He couldn’t add that he wanted her… wanted her so badly his entire body shook. She’d made it plain she didn’t need him, and pride wouldn’t allow him to admit that he might need her. He’d even told her of his love without her saying the words in return.

“I’ll be glad to get back to Tennessee,” she lied again. “I’ve had enough of you crazy McLains.”

“Well, I haven’t exactly been void of trouble since you came to visit. Half the time I think I’m losing my mind. The other half I’m sure it’s already long gone.”

Nichole raised her chin a little higher. “I could never be what you want.”

“No,” Adam countered. “You don’t even know who that is.” She was doing it again, he thought, plowing through his heart before it had time to heal. His loving her didn’t matter. He wasn’t sure what she needed, but he knew he wasn’t it. Maybe no man would ever be.

“I’ll be fine alone.” She closed her eyes. She’d rather be alone than have someone constantly protecting and pampering her. At least Wolf let her do her job and had respected her for that.

“So will I,” Adam echoed with his back turned to her.

The silence in the air was thick, almost liquid. The rain had slowed to a depressing rhythm, drumming, adding to the silence with its monotony.

He wouldn’t reach for her again, no matter how dearly he wanted to hold her.

And she couldn’t reveal her need for him. The years of being silent and standing alone were drilled too deeply into her. Her survival had depended on it. Now it blocked her from any happiness in the future.

“Adam!” Daniel yelled from below. “Come quick! There’s been an accident!”

Adam turned away from her, unable to say another word. She’d said she didn’t need him. At least someone below did. All he’d ever wanted was to help others, even if he couldn’t help himself.

“I’m coming!” He dropped down the ladder, leaving Nichole standing in the loft alone.

Closing his heart away, Adam ran with his brother into the rain. Daniel didn’t need to talk, his few words had said it all. No matter how Adam hurt inside, he had a job he was born to do and it had to come first.

As he sloshed through the mud, Adam realized no woman would ever understand him. She’d have to always be willing to step back and be second to what he must do. He had no right to ask any woman to do that, especially not one like Nichole, who deserved a full-time man.

Daniel led him past several houses to the bridge that crossed the creek in town. Most of the homes lay on one side while the school and church were on the other. Through the sheets of rain, Adam saw Wes standing beside the bridge. A few feet behind him men helped women and children climb from the canvas shelter of a wagon into the rain. They may have boarded the wagon to keep their Sunday best dry, but now something had happened that made their clothes unimportant.

Adam pushed past the people to the bridge.

“They’re pulling one boy up now!” Wes shouted as he signaled Adam near. “He looks to be hurt bad from a blow to the head.”

Adam looked below at the river that had been only a stream the last time he’d seen it. Now the water whirled and turned and pounded an overturned wagon with raging force. Through the gray light he could see four, maybe more, children fighting to hold on to the remains of an old Conestoga.

Men were lowering ropes to the stranded, but the rain and the wind were swinging the ropes off course. All the children were screaming for help. Cries from parents on the bridge echoed in answer.

“We have to go down to them!” Adam shouted as he grabbed a rope and began circling it around his waist. “They’ll never have the strength to hold to a rope while we pull them up.”

Wes nodded and began organizing the men.

“No.” Nichole stepped in front of Adam. “I’ll go down.” She tried to pull the rope from Adam’s hand. “I weigh less so I’ll be easier to pull up, and I’m strong enough to hold a child while I climb.”

“No!” Adam tugged the rope away.

A hundred replies came to her mind. Didn’t he think her capable? Was he afraid of losing her? What of losing him? But only one answer would make him stay on shore. “You’re needed here.” Nichole knew him well. “I can do this, but I can’t do the doctoring.”

There wasn’t time for him to think. He glanced at the boy lying in Daniel’s arms a few feet away, his head covered with blood. She was right.

As he turned loose of the rope she pulled it around her. For a second their eyes met. Adam saw something he’d never expected to see, gratitude in their green depths. In that one moment he knew what she needed, more than being loved or protected. She needed to be accepted for what she was, an equal. Not better, or less, but equal.

His hand passed along the rope now anchored around her waist. “Nick?” he whispered against her hair, but there was no time for more.

Adam turned from her and ran to the boy as she began her descent down the bank to the wagon. Wes was only a step behind her, but his footing was not as light as hers. Within seconds she was yards ahead of him.

Adam carefully lifted the bleeding child in his arms and moved toward the nearest house. As he passed the women, a few turned with him, knowing they could help more inside than watching from the bank.

As Adam left the bridge, Nichole reached the wagon. She grabbed the first child and swung back into the water. The men on the bank began pulling her in. There was no time for Adam to watch more, he had a boy to worry about.

An elderly woman answered the door when Adam kicked it with his foot. She took one glance and held the door wide.

“I need bandages and warm water,” Adam fired. “Have you someone to send to the barn for my medical bag?”

An old man unfolded himself from the rocker. “I thought I’d miss church what with the rain, but I guess the Lord means me to get wet this day.” He pulled on his coat and headed out the door without another word. Several other women passed him on his way out, all heading directly to Adam to await orders.

Adam laid the child on the table and examined the wound along the side of his face. “Clear the furniture near the fire and make beds. All the children will need to be dried and kept warm until I can get to them.”