Eve Langlais - Apocalypse Cowboy

Amid a tearful good-bye, where the sisters promised to visit soon, Joel pulled him aside. “Watch yourself, son. Some of the boys ran into some dirtbags last night. Last thing you need is them following you back. They tend to run in packs, and I’d hate for you or Hannah to get hurt.”

Brody looked at Hannah, and his gut clenched. If anything were to happen to her…

“Thanks for the warning. I’ll be careful. If I can convince her, we’ll be back soon. I like what you guys got going here.”

The good-byes over with, Brody straddled his steel horse and inwardly smiled when Hannah wrapped her arms around him. The feeling would never get old.

The trip home went quickly, but twilight hit before they made it all the way back. Finding another roadside motel, Brody stopped for the night.

As soon as Hannah got off, she turned quickly to the side and threw up.

“Jesus, kitten, are you okay?” he asked.

“Must have been something I ate,” she mumbled.

The next day she still looked queasy, but they made it all the way home without her getting ill.

Fred came wheeling out of the house, his face sober. “Beth, is she…”

“She’s fine,” said Hannah rushing over to hug her uncle. “She just decided to stay behind at the Amish settlement.”

“You found people then?” said Fred, his face cracking a smile. “Marvelous. So when’s the big move?”

“What do you mean?” asked Hannah, her face creased in confusion.

Brody restrained himself from smiling. It looked like Fred would be on his side in this argument.

“We can’t stay here by ourselves forever, Hannah girl.”

“Why not?”

“Because they’re equipped to survive,” said Brody, jumping to Fred’s rescue.

“We’ve been doing just fine ’til now. I don’t see why we suddenly have to up and leave.”

Fred shook his head. “Well, I for one wouldn’t mind being around people again. I love you, girl, but a man gets lonely.”

“Fine, then leave,” she said, looking almost like a child with her lower lip jutting in a pout. “Go and live with Beth. I’ll be just fine here.”

“Hannah, don’t be like that.”

But Hannah had already fled to the house she refused against all reason to abandon.

Brody sighed. “It’ll take more than one day to convince her. I thought for sure once she realized Beth wasn’t coming back she’d come to her senses.”

“I meant what I said though. I want to go. Will you take me, Brody?”

Looking at the old man, Brody knew he couldn’t say no. Problem was, in order to take Fred, he’d have to leave Hannah behind for a few days. Not an idea he was crazy with.

As if reading his mind, Fred said, “Maybe if she’s by herself for a few days, she’ll come to her senses. Realize just how lonely it is out here.”

“Yeah, but what if something happens?”

“I hate to say it ‘cause I love her, but short of a calamity, that girl ain’t gonna budge.”

Fred said aloud what Brody feared to think. What’s it going to take to get her to move on?

He thought he found the answer the next day. Boy was he wrong.

Hannah lurched out of the bed she shared with Brody and barely made it to the bathroom before she heaved into the white porcelain. When the convulsions stopped, she sank to the floor with her head resting on the seat and closed her eyes.

Oh fuck.

She couldn’t deny the evidence of her missing period and new nauseous state. I’m pregnant. Hannah dared not tell Brody yet. She knew what he’d say. He’d immediately want to pack her up and move them to the settlement where there was both a doctor and midwife, not to mention medical supplies. The worse part? Hannah knew she should go but, opening her eyes and looking around at the peeling wallpaper, so familiar because she’d helped her mother hang it, she knew she couldn’t.

How can I leave the only home I’ve ever known? Not to mention all my memories of Mom and Dad. Hannah sobbed silently, afraid to wake Brody. Her mind and emotions spun; she felt scared and confused.

A shadow fell over her and a moment later, strong arms wrapped around her and carried her back to bed. Brody snuggled her under the sheets and spooned her, stroking her hair back from her forehead.

“When were you going to tell me you were pregnant?”

His words shocked her. How did he figure it out so quickly?

“I might not be. It could just be a tummy virus.”

Brody jumped up from the bed, and he paced the room, his body taut with anger. “Dammit, Hannah. Don’t screw with me. I know you’re pregnant. You know what this means, don’t you?”

“It changes nothing,” she said mulishly.

“Changes nothing?” He stopped pacing and gave her a stunned look. “Are you out of your fucking mind? This changes everything. Hannah, you’re pregnant. You can’t stay here and expect to birth a baby with just me to help you.”

“I don’t see why not. Women used to do it all the time.”

“And the infant mortality rate used to be stupidly high. What, you’d intentionally kill our child because you’re too stubborn to leave this goddamn house?”

Hannah got mad, despite knowing he was right and she was wrong. “If you don’t like it, just leave then. It’s what you do best, isn’t it? I knew you could never stay. First sign that things might be better elsewhere and off you fucking go again. Well, good-bye. I don’t need you. I don’t need anybody.”

“I’m taking your uncle to your sister,” he said his voice quiet, but his eyes blazed. “And when I get back you and I are going to have a long talk. I meant what I said. I won’t leave you. But dammit, I am going to prove to you that staying here is foolhardy. I won’t put you or the baby in jeopardy.”

And with those parting words, he left. Hannah refused to go downstairs and see her uncle and Brody off. She was not in the mood to listen to either of them.

Stupid men, think they know everything. I don’t need them. I’ll do just fine on my own.

A part of Hannah didn’t expect him to return, the angry words they’d exchanged had been ugly, but even as she thought that, she fervently hoped he’d come back. Please let him choose me this time.

One lonely day stretched into two. The pump on the well broke, and she was reduced to hoisting buckets up by herself, a chore that made her back ache. She burned her dinner and ate alone with only a dim candle for light and companionship. She ruefully thought of the Amish village where she’d played cards and conversed for the first time in years with someone other than Fred and Beth. I don’t believe it, but I actually miss it. It was fun.

Needing distraction, she flipped through the photo albums of younger, happier days. She wasn’t really paying attention when she had a sudden revelation. Oh my god, it’s not this house that made me happy, it was my family and friends. Stunned, Hannah put the photo album down and walked through the house she’d called home for over twenty years. For the first time, she wasn’t comforted by its solid presence. She missed the love and laughter that used to echo within its walls, and she finally realized that by staying, she wouldn’t get that happiness back. Her family was gone for good, unafraid to start a new life, a better life, and if she wanted the joy that came from being with them, she needed to join them. And even more, she needed to trust in Brody. He would give her all the love she needed if she’d only let him.

Amazed by this revelation, Hannah waited impatiently for Brody to return, her anxiety of earlier so foolish. Of course he’s coming back. I’m his family, me and the baby. And he loves me no matter how dumb I can be sometimes.