Radclyffe - Honor Bound

Blair looked at Lindsey Ryan, her face pale. "Did he kill Jeremy Finch because I ignored him? Is it my fault?"

"No," Cam said quickly.

"Commander Roberts is right," Ryan interjected. "You're not responsible for Agent Finch's death. The only one responsible for that is the individual who placed and triggered the bomb. There is no way you could've satisfied his demands, because he is not even aware of what actually drives him. Regardless of what you do or do not do, he will never be content."

Doyle took that moment to add contemptuously, "Youare certainly not to blame. No one would have been able to plant a bomb if security measures had been adequate."

His criticism was clearly directed at Cam, but it was Mac who responded. "You son of a bitch," Mac exploded, rising from his chair.

"Mac," Cam said firmly, her voice carrying a clear command.

Mac remained half-standing, his hands braced on the table, his expression murderous as he glared at Doyle.

"Let's take a break," Cam said calmly, pushing back her chair. She stood but didn't move until everyone but she and Doyle had left the room.

"If you have something to say to me, Agent Doyle, say it now," she said, facing him squarely.

He shrugged, his expression smug. "Youlost a man, Roberts, not me. I have no idea why you're still in command, but I wouldn't get too comfortable if I were you."

Cam waited until he had walked out before she sank slowly into her seat. She would have argued if he hadn't been right.

"Cam?" Blair said from the door of the dining room. "You don't believe that, do you?"

Cam had been staring blankly down at the table, and at the sound of Blair's voice, she straightened quickly, forcing a smile. "Eavesdropping on Federal business, Ms. Powell?"

Blair shook her head, refusing to be distracted by Cam's admittedly charming smile. Cam's automatic attempt to hide her feelings didn't mask the pain in her eyes. "I heard what Doyle just said, Cam," she said softly, crossing to stand beside the table. "He's wrong to blame you."

Cam sighed wearily. "No, he isn't. A man died under my command, Blair. That's my responsibility."

Blair's first instinct was to argue, because she couldn't bear to hear the anguish in Cam's voice. She understood Cam's feelings of accountability, even though rationally no one could be expected to anticipate every eventuality. It wouldn't matter to Cam, Blair knew. Not only was Cam trained to assume the blame, Blair knew that she was just made that way. It was one of the reasons she admired her, and, she admitted reluctantly to herself, it was also one of the reasons she loved her. Unfortunately, it was also one of the things that was keeping them apart.

"I talked to my father last night before you got here," Blair said quietly. She pulled out a chair and sat down on Cam's left, extending her hand on the tabletop until her fingers just touched the back of Cam's wrist. It wasn't enough, but it was all she could have at the moment. "He told me that he had every confidence in you, and that I should listen to you."

Cam couldn't help but grin. "Why do I think you ignored that last part?"

"Well," Blair laughed softly, "I don't always do everything he tells me." She stroked her fingers lightly over the top of Cam's hand and continued, "But I do agree with him that you are doing everything that can be done. And I'm so sorry for what happened to Agent Finch."

"So am I," Cam said softly, remembering the terrible silence on the end of the line when she informed Jeremy's family that he had been killed. Their stoic response and gracious thanks to her for calling them personally made it all the harder to bear. But that wasn't the worst of it. She looked at Blair, and there was naked torment in her eyes. "You could've been in that car, Blair. Another thirty seconds, and it would have been you."

"I wasn't," Blair whispered urgently, her fingers closing on Cam's arm. "Don't torture yourself."

"I don't know what I would have done," Cam whispered, trying hard not to think about the possibility.

"Don't do this," Blair insisted. "I'm all right, and as long as you're safe, I will be."

Cam smiled, Blair's presence, as always, banishing the nightmare images from her mind. "We seem to be the same situation then, Ms. Powell. Because as long as you're safe, I'm all right, too."

"Finally, we agree on something, Commander," Blair said softly.

For a moment, they simply rested with one another, their hands very lightly touching, but their connection much deeper than physical. Finally, Cam said reluctantly, "I need to finish up the briefing. Do you want to stay?"

"Will you fill me in later?" Blair asked.

"Yes."

"In that case, I think I've had enough of people and procedures for a while. Is there any rule against me going outside?"

"Not as long as you don't mind company," Cam said quietly. "And I'd prefer if you stayed on the grounds, at least for this afternoon."

"You know, I don't even know where we are."

"I'm sorry, I never thought to tell you," Cam apologized. "Croton-on Hudson," she added, naming a small, scenic community on the Hudson River.

Blair pushed her chair back and rose reluctantly. "I'll see you later, then, Commander."

Cam stood and watched her disappear into the other room, then squared her shoulders and followed her. Mac was waiting just outside the door. "Let's get this done, Mac," she said to him. "Bring everyone back in."

"Doyle is trying to make trouble for you," Mac seethed.

"Let him try," Cam said quietly. "We need to focus on Egret's safety, and I think he's got information we need. Let's use him."

Mac looked in the direction that Blair had gone, then asked in a low voice, "Are you going to tell her about the photograph?"

"Yes. She needs to know." She answered him because she liked and respected him. She didn't ask him if he approved, because she didn't require his approval. She also had a feeling that he did not agree, but then the decision wasn't up to him.

*

It was close to sundown when Cam finally finished the briefing and went to find Blair. She found her sitting on the side of a small dock on the edge of the river that ran along the rear of the property. Ellen Grant watched from under a small clump of trees twenty yards away. Otherwise, they were alone.

"Hello," Cam said as she eased down beside her.

Blair smiled softly. "Long meeting, Commander."

"Yes."

"Anything new?"

Cam sighed in frustration. "Not much yet. A lot of conflicting theories about the bomb, but not much hard data. It appears to have been a high order explosive, probably RDX, the current material of choice. Captain Lane says that the limited range of the blast indicates a small charge that could have been detonated with something as innocuous looking as a radio pager. We have no idea how or when it was placed, but the vehicle was serviced three days ago. Doyle has a team at the shop now - interviewing employees, tracking parts that might have been used - looking for anything. Something."

"But surely someone was watching the car while it was worked on?" Blair asked.

"Yes," Cam confirmed, "but Lane said it wouldn't take more than a second to slip something under the carriage with a magnet or even quickbond of some kind. It could have happened while the car was following us along the race route. Jeremy would have had to make multiple stops with people all around."

Blair shivered, but could find no words to express her horror.

"There's something else," Cam said quietly, handing her the small white rectangle she had been carrying in her pocket for hours.

"I don't understand," Blair said, staring at the photograph. It was an image of herself standing on the platform in Sheep Meadow, with Cam visible just behind her, clearly taken the previous day during her speech. Her eyes were riveted on the circled "x" inked in red over her chest. "If he targeted me while I was on the stage, why --?"