K Caverly - Shards of Us

He shrugs. "I don't know, miss. It's odd, huh?"

"Yeah," I say uncertainly, glancing around the completely empty lobby, working hard not to get paranoid. "It's… definitely odd."

That was the third sign.

I shake my head, telling myself it's nothing. I mean, of course it's nothing. It's not like Sebastian could know what I'm about to do, or even if somehow he did, there is no way he could make so many guests leave at once. And there's no reason he'd want to, anyway. It's not like I'm plotting to kill him or anything.

But still, this whole situation just feels… wrong. Like everything else has tonight.

I walk up the stairs with my head down anyway, pretending to be normal, listening to the sound of the Beethoven music fade slowly away…

The hall at the third floor is totally empty. I walk through it with my heart pounding, but the buzz of excitement I usually get at the thought of Sebastian is gone tonight. Once I reach room 364, I stop. My heart pounds faster and faster, and I'm sure the guilt is written all over my face, but I know I have to do this anyway. I take a single deep breath before opening the door.

It creaks open, slow and steady, like they do in haunted houses. I step inside, closing the door behind me, holding my breath.

The room revealed is dark. Pitch black kind of dark. My heart hammers in my chest faster now, and I feel my stomach knot, feel the queasiness setting in. I take a tentative step forward, trying to stay calm.

The air in the room is cold. It's never been cold before. But now, it feels like this whole place hasn't been occupied for years. Another step. I can't see where I'm going. Oh hell, I can't see where I'm going.

"Sebastian?" I call. Nothing. I listen to the thump of my heart, beat, beat, beat .

The room is silent. Deathly silent.

"Sebastian?" I call again. My voice cracks a little, and I can feel my hands shaking. My heart pounds even faster. "Sebastian, answer me. This… this isn't a joke." A sinking feeling washes over me, because there is nothing. Nothing at all.

Then, something creaks behind me.

I spin around immediately. My heart leaps into my throat. But when I scan the area, I see nothing but darkness.

I numbly feel my way over to the chair in the corner where I know the light is. I feel so sick all of a sudden, so guilty and nauseous and for once, I want to be anywhere but here. When I reach the chair, I look around again, but there is no sign of Sebastian at all. I feel around for a bit before my hand finds the lamp. I fumble with switch until I am finally able to turn it on.

Light floods the room almost instantaneously. I look around for Sebastian, but no one is here. Shit . The bed is unmade, the usual diamond rose petals are gone. No music is playing and no wine is set out.

Sebastian is late.

And Sebastian is never let.

That was the final sign.

My heart begins pounding even faster. Where is Sebastian? I think frantically. He's always on time. Always. He'll be here , I tell myself. Maybe he just got caught in traffic. I don't really believe it, but I don't need anything else to worry about tonight, and so I leave it at that.

I'm tempted to leave right then and come back next week, but then I remember rule #3: don't leave the hotel room until morning. Not ever. And really, I'm not in a position to break another one of his rules. So I sigh, pour myself some red wine from the fridge, turn on some Beethoven music on the CD player Sebastian has set out, and I sink into the chair in the corner of the room, drinking and thinking and waiting.

I don't even know how long I sit there for, but I know it's at least an hour. I keep sipping at my wine, trying to let my body relax and make the nerves go away, but I can't. I'm wound too tight, and my heart doesn't slow its pounding for a second the whole time. I try instead to escape into my thoughts. I think about Sebastian, where he could possibly be, whether he's coming here or he just decided to abandon me. I think about the story he told me last week, about how he left everyone he ever cared about and even to this day, still hates himself for it. I think about the way his lips feel on mine, the way his touch makes my skin crawl, the tingling sensation his body gives me. I think about how Sebastian makes everything go away, makes all of the pain and the emptiness and the loneliness and the hurt fade. I think about us, our setup, and if we can ever really be together. I like how it is between us. I like this security, this guarantee. But I know, deep down, that I want more. I want to love Sebastian. I want to see the real him. I want… well, I want him.

Next I think about my parents. It's been two years since the robbery that got them killed, but it feels more like an eternity. The robber stole Mom's jewelry, the police said, and shot them both when they tried to stop him. A tragedy, according to the paper. An awful, awful tragedy.

As if they knew any of it.

Finally, my mind drifts back to Ash. I wonder whether I should call and tell her that Sebastian isn't here, to let her go home and sleep restfully while I spend my night here, staring at the door, like Sebastian would have wanted. Only break the rules if you absolutely have to, is his saying, and I don't really have to break them now. I am fine here, aren't I? Yes, I tell myself. Yes I am. I am fine.

I. am. fine.

So I take one last sip of wine and close my eyes as I sit in the chair, ready to let sleep take me away until morning. Sebastian will show up later , I tell myself as I close my eyes. He will .

That's when I hear the gunshot.

And the scream.

In that moment, what I hear isn't the kind of happy-scream you get when someone proposes, or during a tickle-fight of some sort, or anything, well, positive. This isn't the scream of a small child trying to get attention, either, or the scream of someone calling out to a friend.

No.

This scream is blood-curdling. Ear-splitting. Filled with pure fear. The second I hear it, my whole body freezes up. I shoot out of the chair, my heart hammering furiously in my chest.

The scream and gunshot are close, it's like they're coming from outside my room, and the realization is a punch in the gut. Oh shit shit shit , I think to myself, scrambling for cover. Everything pounds, freezes, hurts. I don't know what to do. What the fuck am I supposed to do in a situation like this? What do I do when there are gunshots and screams right outside my door? My feet go numb. My hands tremble. I take a slow step to the door, listening for the sound of footsteps fading, for any sign to tell me I'm safe, but nothing comes. Everything is silent for one long second, and then, just like that, all hell breaks loose.

There's a grunt, and someone is thrown against the wall beside my door. Another scream rips through the air. I swear my heart is about to explode out of my chest as the body collides with the wall, almost breaking through it, sending me jumping backward. I hear the crack of a fist connecting with skin, and then someone else is slammed against the wall, closer to the door this time. I jump back again. The fighting continues, and finally my sense start kicking in. I hear another crack as someone is thrown against the wall across the way while I race over to the corner of the room, ducking behind the bed for cover.

The next thing I know, another gunshot sounds, piercing through the night air. I hear another scream, and then the sound of sobbing. And then, once again, there is nothing.

I cower there, under the bed, totally frozen. I feel numb. My whole body screams at me that I'm going to fucking die here because someone is killing people right outside my door , but I try to ignore it, to try to stay calm, try to focus on my breathing.