Michelle Mankin: Irresistible Refrain

I’d been telling myself for years that my memory had exaggerated her perfection. Not so much. She was my every fantasy made real. “Fuck you’re gorgeous.” I framed her face in my hands. “I never stopped loving you. I need you to know that.”

Her fingers ghosted across my lips, settling over my mouth like a soft kiss. “Stop looking so serious. I love you too.” She smiled. “I’ve always loved you.”

I felt the force of her words deep in my soul, the cure to the restlessness that had plagued me since I’d given her up as a teen.

I stared at this handsome man watching as his cautious veneer fell away right before my eyes. The love shining out of his eyes was like a bright beacon that I was helpless to resist…not that I had ever wanted to, not really.

So many wrongs in my life. Had I finally gotten something right?

I pulled his head back down to me. I could feel his grin against my lips right before his tongue dipped inside and slid slowly across mine. My body became a hot whirlwind of sensation as we took turns tasting each other. The heavy weight of him crushed my breasts, and the hard length of him pressed between my thighs, feminine and masculine, two opposing puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together.

I traced across the breadth of his shoulders with my palms and raced down the indentation of his spine with my fingertips before grabbing his ass in my hands and undulating against him. “Bry,” I moaned. I was on fire, burning up everywhere our skin touched. I’d never been more turned on in my life.

He gave me a wicked smile before he began to do wicked things to me with his mouth. With long languid licks he teased me, his tongue sliding across my skin up and over and near, but never touching the nipples that ached to receive the same attention.

My heels dug into the mattress and my head thrashed back and forth. My hair would be a mess of tangles when we were through. Desire roared hot in my veins. And then his mouth closed over my nipple. I arched completely off the bed, silently begging him to take me deeper, whimpering when I felt his teeth and tongue graze repeatedly over the sensitized tip.

As if he had all the time in the world, he thoroughly explored every inch of my breasts with restrained nips that jolted through me like lightening and light soothing strokes that prolonged the pleasure. I felt worshiped and was in a sensual high as I watched him through my lashes, praising him by panting his name.

I started to protest when he lifted his head, but stopped when his hands started to move exactly where I most wanted him to go. I felt his warm approving gaze on me right before he touched me. Delicate shivers wracked me as his skilled fingers glided lightly across my fevered skin. I moaned when he skimmed his palm over my throbbing wet center. His touch was just a tease as soft as a breath but it still made my body flush with heat.

“That’s it, babe.” He stared down at me with lids heavy and gorgeous eyes darkened with passion. “So sexy. So beautiful.” He increased the pressure rocking his palm back and forth over me.

“Bryan,” I begged breathlessly, pulsing beneath him.

“Don’t hold back, Lace. I want to see you come for me first, and then I promise I’ll give you more.”

While he watched, so possessive, so attentive to my need, I came fast and I came hard. This man owned me, and my body surrendered to him as readily as my heart had done.

Before the glow of my climax had dimmed, he slid deep inside me, a hot brand marking me as his. He had me caged within his arms, and as he had promised, he gave me more, more than I had bargained for, and more than I had dreamed. I began to burn, this time even hotter than before, as he moved in a practiced rhythm that was insanely deep and impossible hard, perfect friction rubbing against my sensitized flesh. His heavy breath lifted the hair from my temples, and the slap of his hips against mine became an erotic tune that ended just moments later as we shouted each other’s name in unison.

After the haze of sensual bliss cleared, reality reasserted its claim. I padded into the bathroom to take a quick shower. When I returned, Bryan was propped up on his elbow, still naked and in the bed, the sheet draped casually around his waist. He was distracting as hell with his hair tousled and all that exposed skin over tight muscles. I was totally into him, and he knew it. His amused eyes gleamed back at me beneath his lowered lids.

My heart constricted as if he’d squeezed it in the palm of his hand.

Bryan Jackson was the perfect man for me in every way, the standard to which no other man could possibly measure up. The second night I’d spent with him only made me more certain of that fact. With Bryan making love was a two way exchange, a gift we gave to each other, the physical expression of our love for one other. We’d only just finished and I already wanted to do it again.

Badly.

I inhaled deeply and offered him a tentative smile instead.

He studied me a minute and his forehead creased. “What’s wrong?” he asked warily. “What’s going on inside that beautiful head of yours?”

I couldn’t fool him. There was no use trying. I sat on the edge of the bed, my back to him, gathering my thoughts as I knotted the bathrobe sash tighter around my waist. “It’s time to talk.”

“I agree.” His voice was deep and certain, and he scooted in behind me, his legs stretched out on either side. That felt really good. He was so warm. He moved my hair off my neck and kissed the spot where my neck met my shoulder. A shiver ran down my spine. He turned me around and arranged me on his lap. He gazed into my eyes and I realized I’d never seen him look so serious. “I want you to move in with me when we get back to Seattle.”

My heart leapt in the air. Shit . I hadn’t been expecting that. I closed my eyes and covered my face with my hands, so he couldn’t see how much I wanted to say yes. To be with Bryan twenty-four seven, to wake up every morning looking into those gorgeous grey green eyes, to go to bed with him every night, it would be awesome.

“That sounds wonderful.” I sighed, dropping my hands and opening my eyes to find him staring at me expectantly. “I really want to, but I can’t.”

“What do you mean, you can’t?” I felt his leg muscles tense beneath me. “The way I see it, we should have done this years ago. Maybe if we had…”

“Don’t. Regret is a dead end,” I said sadly. “One of the things they taught us in rehab is to use the lessons of the past as fuel for the future.” I ran my hand down the side of his stubbled cheek and trailed a finger under the black leather cord with the silver skull bead that he wore around his neck. I stared into his eyes, willing him to understand. But his guard was up again and it made me sad to see that. “Bry,” I tried to explain. “You went from being my best friend in high school to being my lover, and even if things hadn’t gone all wrong for us, I don’t think I would have been ready to handle something like that. I’m still not.”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” He set me aside sharply and made a sweeping gesture with his arm indicating the bed. “Were you not just there with me? You know as well as I do what we did was a whole helluva lot more than just two people getting each other off. It’s always been more with you and me.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Are you saying that this was a mistake?”