Cora Carmack - Losing it

Every time we kissed, my confidence grew stronger. The longer I knew him, the bolder I became. I liked it… almost as much as I liked him.

Someone knocked on the door, three loud raps, followed by three more only seconds later. Our breath was still short from the kiss, and I wasn’t sure if the too-quick-thump of my heart was due to Garrick or the shock.

“Are you expecting someone?” he whispered.

I shook my head.

Three more knocks, and then Kelsey yelled through the door, “I know you’re here, Bliss! Open up!”

“Shit.”

I made no effort to be gentle as I picked Hamlet up from Garrick’s lap, and plopped her on the couch. I almost didn’t even notice the growl; it had become so commonplace.

I grabbed Garrick, and pulled him to his feet. I had no idea where to put him, but decided the bathroom was probably better than the bedroom, seeing as it actually had a door.

I pushed him inside with a quick, “I’m sorry. I’ll get rid of her, I promise.”

If only we had gone to his place.

I rubbed at my lips, hoping they weren’t as swollen as they felt. I ran a hand over my hair, and when I was certain there was nothing glaringly out of place, I opened the door.

Kelsey breezed past me, “It’s about damn time. What were you doing?”

I faked a yawn.

“Oh, you know, just lazing around.”

She rolled her eyes, and looked at me like I was the frustrating one.

“It’s a good thing I came over then. I’m not about to let you stay home on a Saturday night moping about the thing with Cade.”

She snatched my wrist, and pulled me into my bedroom. So, the bathroom had been the right choice.

“I’m not moping!” I said. “And how do you know about the thing with Cade?”

“Because everyone knows, honey. Which, btw, I’m pissed that you didn’t tell me all that drama was happening.”

Great.

“There’s really not that much drama. We’ll patch things up soon, I’m sure,” I said.

“Oh honey, you didn’t hear? Cade almost turned down the role in Phaedra . He didn’t, thank God. Rusty talked him out of it. But I wouldn’t call that ‘not much drama.’”

I sank on to my bed, my insides twisting like a wrung out rag. Cade was that upset? He would give up that great of a part just so that he didn’t have to be around me?

Kelsey’s voice came to me from my closet, and I had déjà-vu of the night that this whole thing started. She started pulling out tops and skirts, and I asked, “What are you doing?”

“We’re going out. You need to remember that a world exists outside your apartment.”

“No, Kelsey, I’d really rather not.” I thought about Garrick in my bathroom, and wondered if he could hear us.

“Tough shit. I’m not giving you a choice. I haven’t been dancing forever, and I need a wing-woman.”

I groaned and flopped back on my bed. She dropped a skirt on my face.

“Get dressed.”

Then I remembered the perfect excuse, “I can’t. I’ve got dinner cooking.”

“Great. I’m starving. What are we having?”

Sometimes I thought my life would be easier if I were friendless.

I returned to the kitchen, and she followed. I’d left the sauce on a little too long and it had burnt around the edges. So much for not screwing up spaghetti.

“Geez woman, were you planning to eat away your troubles? You made enough for three people!” I just shrugged. I had nothing to explain why I was cooking for two people (one with a very large appetite).

I put a little bit of spaghetti on our plates, trying to leave some for Garrick, even though I had no idea when he’d get to eat it.

I ate quickly, letting Kelsey dominate the conversation, which was about how long it had been since she’d had really good sex. I nodded along, laughing in the right places, shoveling food into my mouth the entire time. I cleared my plate before she’d even made a dent on hers. I placed my plate in the sink, and then headed for the hallway.

“Where are you going?” Kelsey asked.

I called “Bathroom!” over my shoulder, and kept walking.

When I reached the door, I glanced over my shoulder, glad to find Kelsey preoccupied with her spaghetti, and I slipped inside the room.

“Is she gone?” Garrick asked.

“Ssshhh!” He was leaning against the sink, and I reached around him to turn on the faucet to cover our whispers. “No. I’m sorry. She’s actually eating our spaghetti.”

His lips puckered, and I leaned forward, smothering my laugh against his chest.

“Is she leaving soon?”

I peered up at him, but stayed close against him.

“No. She thinks I’m depressed about Cade, and she’s determined to force me to go out.”

He pulled me to him, and pressed his face into the space where my neck curved into my shoulder. He let out a growl that was oddly reminiscent of Hamlet.

I wrapped my arms around him, just as disappointed. “I know. This sucks.”

As if I’d given him the idea, his lips covered my pulse point, sucking softly. I laughed, and pushed him back.

“Garrick, she’s right outside.”

As if on cue, Kelsey knocked at the door.

“Enough stalling, chica! I’ve picked out your outfit!” The doorknob started turning, and I rushed to intercept her.

I kept my foot in the way so that only a crack of space formed.

I said, “I’m not stalling, just getting ready. Hand me the clothes, and I’ll get changed.”

She looked suspicious at my feigned excitement. I was never excited when she dragged me out like this. I kept smiling, like maybe the stress had gotten to me, and I’d just finally cracked.

She passed me the clothes, and before she had a chance to reply, I pushed the door closed, and locked it as quietly as I could.

When I turned around, Garrick was slumped onto the toilet. I switched on the radio, turning it up as loud as I could stand, and turned off the faucet.

“I’m sorry, Garrick.”

Sitting, his head was level with my chest, and he rested his hands on my hips, pulling me forward.

“It’s okay, love. This was bound to happen sooner or later.”

“I wish you could come with me.”

“Me too, love. But it’s okay. We’ll have dinner another time. You should get changed. The sooner you get out of here. The less likely we are to get caught.”

I nodded. My hands shook slightly as I pulled the clothes to my chest.

He said, “I’ll close my eyes.” And I dropped a quick, thankful kiss on his cheek

Smiling, he closed his eyes, and then leaned his elbows on his knees and his face into his hands. As quickly as I could, I whipped off my shirt, and shrugged off my shorts. I pulled a black tank top over my head, and then picked up the skirt.

My stomach dropped.

It was that God-awful, horrendously short miniskirt. I must have made a noise because Garrick raised his head. He kept his eyes closed as he asked, “Everything okay?”

I said, “Yes.’

Even though I was thinking hell no.

I slipped on the skirt, and it was just as short as I remembered. I sighed. There was no way I could wear this.

I touched a hand to Garrick’s shoulder, meaning to tell him that I was going to go outside to find something else, but his eyes opened and fixed on my legs, which suddenly felt weak, like pools of fabric instead of muscle and flesh and bone.

One of his hands curled around to tickle at the back of my knee, and I had to steady myself with a hand on his shoulder to keep from collapsing.

“You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?” He choked. “Isn’t this the skirt you told me you’d never wear?”

“And I won’t be wearing it tonight. I’m going back to my room to find something else.”