Maya Banks: Colters' Gift

And yet she drank in the sight of them, unable to tear her gaze from the two men who’d once been hired to protect her.

They were the complete antithesis of Joel, and maybe that was why she’d allowed herself to relax around them and trust them. In the beginning she’d thrown up every barrier she could, anything to prevent them from getting close.

But they’d broken every wall she’d placed between them. They’d bullied her mercilessly, making sure she ate, that she took care of herself. They couldn’t possibly know just how much she’d softened toward them, because she’d been too intent on shutting them out and treating them indifferently.

When Max had arrived at her apartment, determined to take her home with him and Callie, part of her was hugely relieved while the other part of her was reluctant to let go of the two men she’d come to rely on.

Having them near her just made her feel safe in a world where she was anything but. If they knew what she’d done and all she’d kept from them, they’d be pissed as hell.

She’d made some horrifically stupid choices. She could admit that now. But at the time, she’d been a scared-out-of-her-mind woman who desperately wanted a way out of her situation. She hadn’t been thinking straight. But who could blame her?

She blamed herself enough without anyone else knowing the extent of her stupidity.

“Lauren?”

She looked up quickly at the sound of Liam’s voice. She realized that one or both men had been talking to her, and she had no idea what they’d been saying.

“I’m sorry,” she blurted. “You should have called. You caught me completely off guard.”

Noah’s eyes narrowed. “And would you have been here if we’d called? Or would you have been conveniently somewhere else?”

Heat scorched her cheeks. He couldn’t possibly know that’s what she would have done. And yet he’d called her out on it as if he’d reached right into her head and plucked out her thoughts. Was she so easily read?

Liam cleared his throat. “We’re here to discuss Joel Knight.”

The blood rushed from her face. Her stomach knotted into a tight ball. She swayed precariously in her seat before making a grab for the arms with each hand so she didn’t humiliate herself.

“I want you to leave,” she blurted out.

Liam leaned forward, those vivid blue eyes pinning her in place. His hair hung to his shoulders, in varying lengths, as if he didn’t worry too much over how it was cut. It had a slight curl, making it look unruly. The ends flipped up this way and that. She could remember her fingers itching to reach out and smooth it.

It suddenly occurred to her why she’d eventually grown to trust these two men. Why she’d relaxed her guard toward the end of their business relationship.

They were nothing like Joel, and while she’d always recognized this, it really hit home with her now.

Joel was polished. Never a hair out of place. Expensive clothing. Only the best suits. A tie. Perfectly shined shoes. Fake tan. He never walked out of his home unless he looked his best. He’d never be caught dead with men like Liam and Noah.

Liam and Noah were . . . Well, they didn’t give a shit. With them it was either take it or leave it, and your loss if you left it.

They both had dark hair, though Liam’s was more of a true, midnight black and Noah’s was such a dark brown that it was nearly black. Alone one might think his hair was black, but standing next to Liam, it was obvious that Noah’s hair was lighter.

Liam’s eyes were a shock of blue. Startling and vibrant. He was a man that drew stares from women and men alike. Noah’s eyes were dark, like Lauren’s own, only he had flecks of green and gold mixed in with the brown. In the right light, the different colors shone, lightening his eyes and making them mesmerizing to look at.

Both sported tattoos. Noah had what looked to be a Japanese symbol on his right arm and then a bracelet tattoo on his right wrist. Liam had intricately, colorfully rendered sleeves on both arms. Lauren had often stared when he wasn’t looking, studying the designs. There was so much detail that she couldn’t imagine how long it had taken the artist to complete the tattoos or how patient Liam had to have been through the process.

Separately, the men were forces to be reckoned with. But together? Complete badasses. No one in their right mind would cross them.

Except, she had. Crossed them. Or at least lied to them. And now they knew she’d lied.

Liam was still staring holes through her. She wanted to crawl underneath her chair and stay there until they were gone. Until she forgot why they’d come. She just wanted to put it all behind her. Them, Joel, everything.

“We’re not going anywhere,” Liam said grimly. “You’ve got a hell of a lot of explaining to do.”

She didn’t want to be the weak, pathetic woman she’d been such a short time ago. But them being here made her want to run for cover. She wanted to barricade herself in her bedroom and shut the world out.

But isn’t that what she’d done for so very long? She’d existed in a haze of denial, too stupid, too cowardly to face the truth, and to act.

“Damn it, Lauren, we’re not going to hurt you,” Noah said. “Stop looking at us like we’re that bastard who abused you.”

She swallowed and then lowered her head to put her hands over her face.

It was automatic to flinch away when she felt the hand on her shoulder. She heard a soft curse, but the hand was quickly removed.

“Lauren, look at me.”

It was Liam, his voice as soft and warm as the first rays of spring sunshine. She was compelled to do as he said, even before she realized she had raised her head.

He took a deep breath, letting it blow out long and slow. It was a sigh that expressed a lot. Exasperation. Pity. She hated the pity. People who were truly victims deserved pity and kindness. She was someone who’d allowed bad things to happen to her because she was too much of a coward—and an idiot—to get herself out of it. And on top of it all, she’d lied to her brother, the one person who loved her in this world. She’d lied to the Colters, not overtly. She’d never voiced the lie, but it had been one of omission, which made it just as bad.

And she’d lied to the two men who’d vowed to protect her. She hadn’t given them the information they’d needed in order to do their job, because she’d been afraid of what might happen to them.

None of the reasons made sense now. She was honest enough with herself to admit that. She hadn’t known what she was doing or saying all those months ago. She’d just reacted.

Now those lies were coming back to haunt her. Just when she’d finally made peace with the choices she’d made.

“We know about Joel Knight,” Liam said quietly. “The question is why didn’t you tell us about him? Why weren’t you honest about who hurt you? Were you protecting him?”

There was a note of fury that accompanied his last question, one she was forced to respond to.

“No!” she said fiercely. “I wasn’t protecting him. I hate him.”

“Then why?” Noah demanded. “Why send us on a wild-goose chase trying to find a man who didn’t exist? Do you have any idea how much time we’ve wasted looking for the son of a bitch who beat you up? We had the local police involved. We pulled so many goddamn strings trying to find this man so he could be arrested, so he’d never hurt another woman. And the entire time, we were looking for a ghost.”

She closed her eyes. “I can understand why you’re angry. I’m sorry I wasted your time.”

Her eyes popped open again when Liam let out an expletive that singed her ears.

“You have no idea why we’re angry,” Liam snapped.