Maya Banks - Colters' Lady

The stream that dissected the meadow gurgled and was fast running from the melting snow from nearby peaks. The sound mixed with the chirps of birds and the sounds of insects, the life and breath of the landscape.

Michael rode to the stream and dismounted, allowing his horse to nose into the stream to drink. Seth slid from his horse and then reached up for Lily.

They left the horses by the water and walked up a small incline that was particularly ablaze with wildflowers. She hadn’t noticed until now that Michael carried a basket in one hand and had a blanket roll under his other arm.

It was a perfect day for a picnic, and she was delighted that they’d thought to surprise her with such a sweet gesture. After being cooped up in her makeshift studio for the week, alone with her thoughts and her drawing, being outside, surrounded by the beauty of spring, was a balm to her tattered soul.

Michael handed the basket to Dillon and then unfurled the blanket. The breeze caught it and it billowed out. Michael flapped it twice, arranging it just so before pulling it to the ground. Dillon set the basket on one corner to hold it down while Michael stepped on the other.

Then he turned back to Lily and motioned her forward.

Seth escorted her onto the blanket and sank down on the edge. Then he reached up to pull her down beside him. Dillon settled on her other side while Michael sat across from her.

“Are you hungry?” Michael asked.

“Starving.”

Michael smiled. “Dillon has fried chicken. I made potato salad, and Seth made brownies. Dillon also dug into his highly prized collection of wines and brought along a bottle that he’s been saving for just the right occasion.”

She nearly moaned. “It all sounds fantastic.”

Michael pulled out hard plastic plates and napkins and passed them around. Then he took out the container that held the chicken and placed it in the middle, followed by the bowl containing the potato salad.

He handed the wine over to Dillon to open and then Michael distributed glass wine flutes.

It was amazing. They’d thought of everything.

“White or dark?” Michael asked her.

She grinned. “Both. I want a thigh and a wing.”

He plopped two pieces of chicken on her plate and then dished up a healthy helping of potato salad and handed it to her.

She wasted no time digging in and was soon enjoying the delicious, perfectly seasoned chicken. It was so good that she licked her fingers after every bite.

They ate in companionable silence. Lily stared up at the sky, mesmerized by the brilliant blue unmarred by a single cloud.

“It reminds me of your eyes,” Seth murmured.

Startled, she turned to look at him. “What does?”

“The sky. Today it reminds me of your eyes. Beautiful and so vibrant.”

“I never know quite what to say when you say such wonderful things,” she said in a low voice.

He smiled. “Keeping a woman speechless isn’t the worst thing in the world.”

“Ooohhh, you just had to go and ruin it,” she said as she made a stabbing motion at him with her fork.

Michael chuckled. “Guess he gets the couch tonight.”

Lily sipped at the wine, savoring the taste on her tongue. She took the last bite of her potato salad and put the plate away with a groan.

“Surely you’re not full already? We still have brownies to eat,” Dillon said.

“I’d have to be dead to turn down chocolate,” she said.

Michael took a metal canister and opened it. Immediately the rich scent of chocolate wafted on the breeze, teasing her nostrils with the delicious smell.

“Oh my God,” she murmured. “Gimme.”

Seth laughed. “Give the woman her chocolate. She sounds slightly demonic.” She took the hunk of brownie from Michael and sank her teeth into it. “Oh sweet mother, this is heaven,” she groaned.

Seth leaned in to nuzzle her neck. “It’s not as sweet as you.”

“Okay, you’re forgiven for the speechless woman crack,” she said magnanimously.

His expression turned serious. “There’s something we want to talk to you about.” Her stomach did a complete flip and she glanced warily at Dillon and Michael.

“You’re scaring her, dumbass. Quit being so serious,” Dillon said.

“We have something to ask you,” Michael corrected.

Michael reached into the picnic basket and pulled out a tiny box. He actually looked nervous and even a little pale as he scooted toward her and held out the box on his palm.

She reached for it, her fingers shaking.

“Open it,” Seth urged.

She took off the top and found a velvet jeweler case inside. She turned the box upside down to shake out the smaller one, and it landed in her palm with a plop.

Her stomach was a big, tight ball of nerves as she fumbled with the lid. When she finally got it open, diamonds flashed in the sun, stunning her with their dazzling brilliance.

She stared in absolute befuddlement at the gorgeous princess-cut diamond ring. In the middle of the arrangement were four square-cut diamonds put together as if they were one large single diamond. And then on both sides of the centerpiece were four smaller cut diamonds, again arranged together as if they were larger stones. Then smaller diamonds were embedded in the band all the way down the sides.

It was the most gorgeous ring she’d ever seen, and it was exactly something she would have chosen for herself. Simple, yet so elegant.

She didn’t know what to say. She was completely and utterly overwhelmed and speechless.

Seth took the ring from its perch and gently slid it on the ring finger of her left hand.

“Will you marry us, Lily?” Dillon asked, his voice a velvet brush over her skin.

“Will you stay with us and love us as much as we love you?” Michael asked.

“In sickness and in health,” Seth whispered next to her. “Until death do us part?” It was on her lips to say yes. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. There was no doubt in her mind or heart that they were what she wanted. That she loved them with every part of her soul and that her heart belonged only to them.

But she also knew that she owed it to them to come to them whole. Healed. Free of her past. She owed it to herself .

So she bit her lips, because she couldn’t say yes. Not yet. Oh, she would. There was no doubt. But first…first she had to do the most difficult thing she might ever face in her life. She had to face down her past. And then she had to forgive herself.

“I love you,” she said fiercely. “I don’t want you to ever doubt that.” She looked each of them in the eye as she spoke the words.

“You have no idea how much I want this.”

She slid off the ring and carefully returned it to the safety of the velvet jeweler’s box.

Before they could protest, she turned back to them, not wanting them to believe even for a moment that she was rejecting them or their love.

“Give me just a few days,” she asked. “Just give me that and then ask me again. There’s something I must do. For us. And for me. Ask me then and I’ll put that ring on, and I’ll never take it off. Until then, hold it for me. And don’t give up on me.”

“Oh honey, that’s never going to happen,” Seth said as he hugged her to him.

She’d expected an argument or maybe anger. Insecurity or that they’d think she was rejecting their proposal. But they all looked at her with love and understanding in their eyes. No judgment. No anger.

Nothing but love. Pure, unconditional love.

The sun slid over her skin, warming her through. She turned her face up, a sheen of tears making the sky a little shinier. She’d spent a lot of time railing against God. Asking why. Asking for a miracle. All this time she’d thought He’d turned a deaf ear to her. That He’d forgotten her or that she was unworthy of his grace or mercy.